Episode 108 – Mahabharata – Oh deer!

In this episode, we’re back into the Mahabharata. I know we did the Mahabharat just three episodes ago, but some of you specifically requested this story. So here you go!

Before we jump into today’s story, here’s a really quick summary of what has happened so far.

Bhisma, the crown prince of Hastinapur gave up his right to the throne or to have any children. Just so that his father could marry Satyavati.

One tragedy after another, Satyavati, Bhishma, and Satyavati’s two daughters-in-law were the only surviving members of the dynasty. And – Vyas. The author of the Mahabharata itself. Vyas worked out some magic which resulted in 3 boys being born. 

None of the three was perfect. Pandu had health issues all his life. Dhritarashtra was born blind, and Vidhur was perfectly healthy, but his mother was not a princess and that seemed to rule him out. Strange though, because it’s not like Vyas was a Prince or anything, or even Satyavati. She was just a blue-collar worker – a ferry operator and the daughter of a fisherman.

But Pandu was chosen to succeed to the throne. And as Emperor, he got to have two Queens – Kunti and Madri, as opposed to Dhritarashtra’s wife Gandhari.

What Pandu and indeed everyone else did not know was that Kunti had had a baby boy in secret before her wedding. A child by the Sun god – Karna was to play a very important role in the Mahabharata.

Gandhari. Dhritarashtra’s wife had taken to blindfolding her eyes permanently. Seemingly in sympathy for her husband’s lack of sight. But in reality, it was an act of rebellion.

But that’s where we’ll continue the story today.

With Pandu firmly on the throne ruling all of Hastinapur. And in his reign, he had really redefined what Hastinapur meant. And not in a figurative way. He had literally expanded its borders by conquering a bunch of nearby Kingdoms. They all would have resisted, but frankly, they decided it was easier to give up than to pick a fight with Pandu. It wasn’t the thought of fighting Pandu that scared them off. What frightened them was seeing Bhishma’s name when the lineups for the battle were announced. 9 times out of 10 the Kings just forfeit their battles. Every one of them had grown up on scary bedtime stories of how Bhishma had humiliated their dads and uncles and grandpas at a Swayamvar in Episode 83. Bhishma was pretty much the Gabbar Singh of his day. At least as far as scary bedtime stories were concerned.

And so it was that Pandu became fairly bored of his life. He had no real challenges, nothing to do. All he wanted was something interesting. Maybe a decent battle. Was that too much to ask for an Emperor? But with the way various Kings kept chickening out, he had nothing to look forward to.

If books and magazines were a thing back in the day, he’d have tried something.

He’d tried sports, but when you’re emperor, they always let you win. For example, he’d scored over a thousand runs in a single inning and taken all 10 wickets.

Bored out of his wits, he had even tried his hand at crocheting, but it’s not a hobby to pick up all by yourself. And Kunti and Madri much rather preferred to crochet together. He would only slow them down.

On his hundredth walk around the palace, he passed a statue of him standing over a deer he had hunted. And recalled those times fondly. What he wouldn’t give to go deer-hunting again.

And why shouldn’t he? He’d earned it. He’d done more in a few years than most emperors in their lifetime. He could retire early!

Of course, Dhritarashtra could handle the Kingdom. With Bheeshma by his side, even a rock could rule the Empire. And I don’t mean The Rock, as in Dwayne Johnson, who I’m sure could be an excellent emperor if he only wanted to!

So he decided that’s what he would do today!

He changed quickly into his hunting clothes and went looking for his wives. He didn’t find them for a long time until finally, he realized where they would be. After a moment’s hesitation marched into the crocheting room. And that’s where they were. Enjoying hot crumpets and conversation.

“Eww, what a ridiculous hat” exclaimed Madri.

“What’s wrong with it?” snapped Pandu, more out of anger that he’d been excluded from yet another crocheting party. “It’s a DeerStalker. It’s called that because I’m going to stalk deer. It’s the latest fashion.”

“It looks like you’re trying to copy someone. Like a wannabe Sherlock Holmes”

“Thank you for the unnecessary and unrelated literary reference,” said Pandu. “Now onto more important things, do you want to join me in hunting deer?”

But neither of them did. So Pandu went off on his own. A bit grumpy. And that may have played a role in what was to come next.

Pandu was in the forest. He’d tied his horse and was creeping about on foot looking for deer. His anger gradually faded and he was now completely engrossed. He listened for any signs of activity. And then he heard it. The soft patter of hooves on the forest floor. Two deer. Look like they were husband and wife. Not that they were carrying a marriage certificate or wearing wedding rings. But one could tell easily enough. He was carrying her shopping bags on his antlers.

Pandu readied his bow and aimed an arrow carefully at the stag. The stag didn’t move. It seemed busy in conversation with its deer. Pandu let fly an arrow. Bingo! It hit the deer on the first try. “Hooray” shouted Pandu and he jumped for joy.

He danced over to where the Stag had fallen and when he got closer he couldn’t believe his eyes.
“A two-in-one! I got a two-in-one” he screamed for joy at the sight of his single arrow piercing both the Stag and the deer. “Kunti and Madri are not going to believe me unless I get a picture. He looked around him. Now, where’s the royal Instagram painter?”

Finally, he spotted the chap, who was on foot carrying an easel and a huge box of paints and laboring under the strain. “Hurry up, and begin painting before they attract flies,” he said. “If I see a single fly in my picture you’ll pay for it”. The struggling artist began quickly.

As Pandu stood there speculating the newspaper headlines the next day, he heard a groan. He looked down to see the Stag was talking. And to his utter surprise, it spoke with a human voice. “Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Kindama. And I understand I’ll be your dinner tonight.”

“But you’re not going to enjoy your dinner when I tell you that I’m not really a deer”

“I… I..figured” said Pandu hesitatingly. “Is there anything I can do for you? I didn’t know you weren’t a deer. I can call an ambulance. I don’t know any CPR. But I can call an ambulance”

“Stop panicking!” said Kindama. “It’s too late for that. But it’s not late enough for me to give you something to remember me by. And that is going to be a curse that will you remember me by until the end of your life, which I am happy to report is just around the corner! You will not be friendly with your wife. If you do, you’ll both die!”

“No, wait! Tell me more. Is there a way to undo the curse?”

“Always thinking about yourself and your curse” replied the deer. 

“Okay,” said Pandu “What was the name of your wife?”

“She doesn’t have a name. She’s just a deer. Not like me” And with that Kindama passed away.

Pandu remained there dejected. What had the wise man turned deer meant about his death being right around the corner?

He remained lost in thought and then finally spotted his private Instagram painter.

The painter was beaming with joy. He showed Pandu the painting he had drawn.

It showed a little deer with big, soft, and cute Disney-animal eyes. The deer was in a chokehold by a rough-looking and very muscled Pandu. “There!” said the artist. “I’ve captured the essence of the scene, wouldn’t you say? Now if you like I can run off a thousand copies and dash them to every public square by this weekend”

“I…  don’t really want to share that on social media” replied Pandu. He wasn’t smiling. In fact, he thought he could never smile again. His life was almost over.

He had killed a man who was in conversation with his wife. It didn’t matter that he looked like a deer. Pandu had committed the ultimate sin. Pandu opened Kindama’s wallet which had dropped and looking inside at the identification and business cards, realized that Kindama was no ordinary man. He was a rishi. A holy man. To kill a holy man was worse than anything people could imagine.

He resolved to go back to his palace and resign his post. Ex Emperor. Ex Deer Stalker. He was now going to be Pandu the Hermit.

His brother Dhritarashtra could be Emperor permanently if he wanted to.

His brother, Dhritarashtra meanwhile was not in the best of moods. He’d been tired of hearing Gandhari’s constant nagging. You see, Gandhari was expecting. Which was great news! Except, something seemed to be wrong. She’d been carrying the baby for 2 years now. Which was certainly longer than any gestation period on record for a human.

But Dhritarashtra was tired of hearing her go on and on on the subject. And he suspected she wasn’t really expecting after all. Maybe she had been overeating, he thought.

So it was that when Vyasa came to visit just then, Dhritarashtra was not exactly pleasant to his Dad.

Gandhari, who’d been playing the perfect host, nudged her husband by the elbow. “Honey, be nice to your Dad. He’s the author of this epic. If you’re not nice, he’ll paint you as the villain”

But Dhritarashtra didn’t care. And when Vyasa thanked them for dinner and was about to depart, he pointedly made sure to grant Gandhari something, and not Dhritarashtra.

He said “I’m going to bless you. You will have a hundred sons!” he said.

“What?!” asked Gandhari shocked. Carrying this one baby for two years was unbearable. She’d have to do this 99 times more? Assuming they were all boys. If half were girls, which was very likely, then she would have 200 children. No way!

Aloud, she merely thanked Vyasa and went about her own business. She couldn’t stop thinking about what Vyasa had said though. Seething in anger and frustration, she slapped her own belly. Maybe a little harder than she should have. Regardless, that seemed to have done the trick. She went into labor and soon after gave birth. But the Hastinapur curse struck again – the baby was stillborn.

Pandu with Kunti and Madri had not had any children yet either. And going by Kidama’s curse it seemed like they never would.

We’ll leave it there on this tragic note. Tragic, but not suspenseful, as the rest of the Mahabharata does focus on the Pandu and Dhritarashtra children as they struggle for the throne.

Some Notes on the Show

Previous Mahabharat Episodes are here:

Episode 59 – River of Dreams
Episode 60 – Down By The River
Episode 68 – Waiting
Episode 69 – Father and Son
Episode 70 – The Art of the Deal
Episode 83 – Mahabharata – The Groom Reveal Party
Episode 84 – Mahabharat – A Princess Scorned
Episode 91 – Mahabharat – Amba
Episode 96 – Mahabharat – Vyas Ex Machina
Episode 105 – Mahabharat – Four Weddings and a Birth

Check out other Mahabharat Episodes too, some of which are peripherally linked to the main storyline, including
Episode 27 – The Rise of Shukra
Episode 28 – His Girl Friday
Episode 37 – A Fishy Engagement

There are some similarities between

That’s all for now. Check out the link in the show notes for previous Mahabharat episodes.

Next Time

In the next episode, we’ll do the story of Ashoka. Yes the Ashoka with whom are associated many, many symbols in our country. There isn’t much magic or mythological aspects to the story, but the man was and is a legend!