In this episode, we’re back to the Mahabharata.
As is usual on this show, you need not have heard the previous episodes. But when it comes to an epic the size of the Mahabharata, it may help if you want more context. Check the links in the show notes for the earlier Mahabharat episodes we’ve covered on this show.
Here’s a quick summary anyway.
Bhisma, the crown prince of Hastinapur decided not to be Emperor or to have children. Just so that his father could marry the woman of his dreams – a ferry operator called Satyavati.
Tragedy after tragedy struck the royal family so that after a while the only surviving members of the dynasty were the ex-crown prince, Satyavati, and Satyavati’s two daughters in law. Since Bhishma continued to be pig-headed about sticking to his promise, Satyavati had to reveal that she had a son – Vyas. The very same Vyas who had authored the Mahabharata. No wonder he worked himself in as the deus ex machina at this moment of peril that threatened the future of the dynasty.
Vyas worked some magic which resulted in 3 boys being born. That’s where we’ll continue the story today.
Hastinapur was celebrating the arrival of the three baby boys. Even though none of them was ideal for the throne. There was Dhritarashtra – who was born blind, Pandu – who had poor health and the third one was Vidur. Vidur was, well…. he was perfectly healthy. And he was the reincarnation of the God of Justice. Which might give you the idea that he would at least impart justice as Emperor. But no one in the royal family even considered the possibility of making him Emperor. The reason? Vidur’s mother was the kitchen maid. Pandu’s and Dhritarashtra’s mothers, the Princesses Ambika and Ambalika have not had much of a speaking role so far. But they would have voiced serious objections if anyone had even suggested putting Vidur on the throne.
The saving grace was that Vidur got the same perks as Pandu and Dhritarashtra. He did go to the same school for example. Which helped.
All three boys excelled at school! Given this was a school for Princes, they weren’t just taught math, geography, economics, science and such. They had additional special subjects like tax collecting, treaty negotiation, dueling, patronizing the arts and several others.
If Vidur topped economics, Pandu nabbed the gold in archery, and Dhritarashtra in Elephant duels.
Seriously, no one could quite crush an elephant like Dhritarashtra could! Someone had to lead the elephant to him first on account of his blindness, but that was a perfectly acceptable condition of the test.
Pretty much on every exam, every subject saw the three Hastinapur boys end up on the podium. Though like I said who got the gold, silver or bronze varied a bit.
It also helped that they were the only three students in their school, and that all of their tutors were employed by Satyavati.
Bheeshma himself would occasionally pop in to give a guest lecture. After all, Bheeshma had had the best training of all. Private 1-on-1 training from the most wise people in the Universe.
It was that wisdom that allowed him to recognize that he needed to take early action in finding brides for Pandu and Dhritarashtra. His experience with Satyavati’s sons had taught him an important life lesson!
He had just the Kings in mind. Kings from three kingdoms who could be pressured into pressuring their daughters to agree to an alliance.
It wasn’t that Bhishma had picked three princesses from three kingdoms for the three boys. Pandu, as the emperor.
And yes, contrary to the portrayal on TV, there was never a debate about whether Dhritarashtra should have been Emperor instead of Pandu. The decision was a no-brainer for Bhishma and Satyavati.
They concluded that a blind person could not run the empire. For one thing the Braille system wasn’t invented yet. How could he handle the paperwork?
So right after graduation, Pandu was crowned Emperor. Not because he had earned the most golds or because he was the strongest or wisest. He became emperor as he was the only available choice as Bheeshma and Satyavati saw it.
Pandu’s status update on the Ancient Indian equivalent of social media was met with a lot of enthusiasm from a lot of Kingdoms and requests started pouring in to form an alliance. It was from this list that Bheeshma and Satyavati picked Kunti. A princess who would make a fine empress. And because they had learned some hard life lessons with Satyavati’s sons, they picked Princess Madri as Plan B. And because they were scarred for life, Princess Gandhari of Gandhar became their Plan C.
Let’s cut over to the palace of King Kuntibhoj. If you haven’t guessed yet, Kuntibhoj was Kunti’s dad. Well, he was actually her adoptive dad. Kunti’s actual dad was King Shurasena who was Kuntibhoj’s cousin. Shurasena and his wife, who was a actually a serpent had several kids. They had an excess when Kuntibhoj had none. So, Shurasena promised to help his cousin out, but letting him adopt his newly born baby daughter.
And just to be clear, he didn’t name the baby Kunti for her adoptive father. She was actually called Pritha at birth. And in her new kingdom, everyone insisted on calling her “Kuntibhoj’s adoptive daughter”. Naturally that’s rather a mouthful so they shortened it to just Kunti. If I’m being honest, I’m a bit puzzled by this. Pritha is a perfectly normal name. But to each his own.
Kunti had one incident happen in her life that pretty much decided the rest of the direction of the Mahabharata.
You see, one day when Kuntibhoj was on one of his frequent hunting trips, he had a visitor. The worst kind of visitor you can have. The Rishi Durvasa. We’ve met Durvasa before on this podcast.
Durvasa was a petty person who took immense pleasure in putting others into terrible situations.
You may have heard of the Brahmarishi Vishwamitra’s Hulk-like rage. But Durvasa makes Vishwamitra seem tranquil by comparison.
And if he visited you, you knew you’d had it. In Episode 37 – A Fishy Engagement he cursed Shakuntala and in Episode 51 – Oceans Rising, he cursed the chief of the Devas, Indra himself.
If you didn’t answer the doorbell on the first ring, he’d curse you. If you didn’t offer him water at exactly the temperature that he wanted, he would curse you. If you did not offer him exactly the food he wanted to eat, he would curse you.
With Shurasena out on his hunting trip, it was upto Kunti to play host. Kunti had read dozens of books. In particular she had read the Who’s Who of Ancient India. She knew exactly how to host Durvasa.
When Durvasa stormed in with a carefully cultivated frown on his face, he was surprised to see the doors were open. He didn’t have to stop and ring the doorbell. “That was… disturbing” He thought to himself. “Who in their right mind would leave the door open on a Summer evening? There must be mosquitoes all over!”
“Just let a single mosquito bite me and then I’ll curse Kunti like I’ve never cursed anyone before”
But then he spied the kachua chhaap mosquito repellant coils in the corner. “I can’t stand the smell from those Tortoise coils. Now Kunti’s in for it” he thought, readying his curse. But then he had to pause. He could see the coils but he could not smell it. Instead, something amazing was happening. There was a pleasant fruity smell. It smelled like mangoes! His favorite fruit. Where had Kunti bought this air freshener? He must ask her. Maybe after he cursed her. In the meantime he felt like eating frozen cranberry custard with kiwi slices and topped with potato chips and ginger and garlic sprinkles. There. That was a weird enough combination!
Just then Kunti signaled to her maid who brought in a bowl of frozen cranberry custard with kiwi slices and topped with potato chips and ginger and garlic sprinkles.
“Only one bowl?! How am I expected to…” began Durvasa but immediately shut up as he saw a second maid bring in a bucket full of the stuff.
He asked to sleep, but his bed was made perfectly just the way he liked it. And whats more there was a teddy bear in it! Just like his favorite childhood toy. “Poochie!” he explained and grabbed the toy fondly.
The next morning when he woke up, he realized this was the best experience he had ever had as a palace visitor! And this was out of thousands of palace visits. Kunti had set a new standard. Something he could use to benchmark every future host against. Yeah, he was quite confident that no one could even come close to her level of execution! And then he could really let all kinds of high-intensity/high-impact curses fly. He’d been meaning to turn people into worms. He’d never had the opportunity to try that before, but now he might be able to do it! The rishi decided that he must thank Kunti, really for opening all these doors for him.
He told her so over his most excellent breakfast.
In between huge bites of his pancake, he said, look I know the future. It’s a trick that Narada showed me.
“Narada? That awesome guy who does the podcast?” asked Kunti surprised
“Of course. And he’s so modest, he doesn’t ever include any shameless plugs on his show” said Durvasa.
No, really. He did.
But moving on with the story. Durvasa promised that this superpower he was about to grant Kunti would come in handy!
“You can request a child of any god you like. As many times as you like.” he said, beaming proudly as if he’d never before granted this kind of a wish.
“And?” she asked, rather disappointed. “Everyone already prays to the gods when they want a child. What’s the difference here?”
“And” replied Durvasa with a grin “the gods will have to obey you”
“Oooh, nice!” she said, high fiving the Rishi. Durvasa the grumpy frowny faced rishi for once had a smile on his face as he high-fived her back.
Well that was that. Durvasa soon moved on. He did sing Kunti’s praises to the local gossip gang, which was the Ancient Indian equivalent of leaving her a testimonial on LinkedIn.
Kunti couldn’t believe her luck. But then she had a sudden sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. What if it didn’t work? Durvasa did not leave her an instruction manual! How was she to know. She must try it right away while she still had the chance to catch up with Durvasa.
She opened the windows and looked out. Her east facing window looked out at the bright morning Sun. The Sun god, Surya was her first choice then.
She had barely formed the words in her mind requesting a child from Surya when in a flash he appeared right in front of her!
“You’re hot!” she said
“Why thank you.” replied Surya “I exercise all the time”
“I meant temperature hot” said Kunti indicating all the sweat on her forehead
“Alright alright. Guess what I have for you?” asked Surya.
“A… a baby?” she asked cautiously.
Suddenly a bell rang ding-ding-ding somewhere and confetti burst from the ceiling as if by magic.
“You’ve got it!” said Surya, pulling a little baby basket from behind his back. “Congratulations new mom!”
Along with the baby, you also get a free life care kit! With a diaper bag, observe the special yellow one with my logo on it. And some diapers, a feeding bottle and a rattle. Oh and the baby was born with those earrings and that armor. Don’t try to take it off. You won’t be able to. No one can, except the baby himself. They’ll protect him the way no one can.
“But I can’t keep the baby! I’m not old enough” replied Kunti, shocked.
“You asked for it. It’s very clear, here look – is this or is this not your request?” asked Surya, showing here a terminal readout.
Well, Kunti had no choice. She had to accept the baby. Or did she? She could cast him out and pretend he never existed! And yet, somehow Kunti could sense that her baby, Karna, was going to play a huge role in their collective lives. She continued to think this as she observed the baby Karna sailing away on the raging river in just a tiny wooden basket! As the basket got near the rapids, Kunti hastily turned away and returned to the palace. No one suspected a thing.
She knew her reputation was intact when she returned in time to see the postman had just delivered a ton of RSVPs to her upcoming Swayamvara. Societal attitudes being what they were, not a soul would have accepted if they had even suspected that the Princess about to pick her husband out of a crowd was already a mother.
The Swayamvara went off without a hitch. There was a decent crowd, but seeing Pandu in attendance, accompanied by Bhishma, the other kings quickly withdrew their nomination. They had all heard from their fathers how Bhishma had humiliated them and abducted Amba, Ambika and Ambalika at their Swayamvar.
Gandhari, the other princess candidate to marry a Hastinapur prince, had a very different experience altogether. She was from the Kingdom of Gandhar, which is modern day Kandahar in Afghanistan. Bheeshma and Satyavati had chosen her because the Kingdom was distant enough that they might not be aware of Dhritarashtra’s blindness. Cleverly crafted letters to the King of Gandhar led him to jump to the conclusion that Gandhari was set to marry the Prince and that the Prince had several gold medals from his school and that he could crush an elephant with his bare hands. Enclosed were a few glowing reviews from his professors, a few carefully edited testimonials from other kingdoms. Gandhari and her family had no suspicion that this was anything but the real deal.
It was not until she was on the road with her brother Shakuni almost at the Hastinapur gates that she overheard a conversation praising her. She felt smug until she realized that the praise was because she had agreed to marry a blind man.
She halted the carriage right away. She needed time to think this through. She could not go back. The stigma would impact her family forever. But should she then just proceed as is and accept Dhritarashtra? No. She must do something!
And then it hit her. She would blindfold herself for eternity! That would be like getting 2 birds with one stone! So Bhishma and Satyavati expected her to be Dhritarashtra’s support dog on a leash, did they? Well, she wasn’t going to provide him with any of that! They were expecting to delegate their Dhritarashtra worries to her. Well, now let them worry about two people now!
This was a rebellious act that would earn her plenty of goodwill with the public! People were sure to see this as an ultimate sacrifice, all out of empathy for her husband’s sightlessness.
Gandhari’s brother Shakuni was not happy when Gandhari told him of her decision. But it was her decision. He did let it go, for now. The anger and resentment that was inside him, he kept locked away. It would boil over and come out at some point, at a later point in the Mahabharata.
But for now, the wedding was going to go on as planned.
Now given Kunti and Gandhari’s unusual experience, you might expect that I’ve been saving the best for last with Madri. But no, I have not.
The decision to marry Madri and Pandu was just a political deal. Some elephants were exchanged, some protection agreement terms and conditions were updated and that’s it.
So there we are. Three princesses, married into the Hastinapur dynasty.
But wait, what about Vidhur? Well, he married Sulabha, the daughter of a King as well. But a daughter who was not a Princess because her mother was not the Queen but the palace maid. Her situation was very much like Vidhur’s.
All might seem well now, with Pandu as the Emperor with Kunti and Madri by his side.
And with Dhritarashtra and Gandhari as the backup plan. But in future Mahabharat episodes we’ll see a continuation of the Hastinapur family curse.
Some notes on the show
Amongst Shurasena’s other famous children was Vasudeva. The very same Vasudeva who was Krishna’s father. We’ve met Vasudeva in Episode 11 – The boy who lived.
Shurasena himself will make an appearance as well, much later to meet his grandson.
And as for Krishna? Well, Krishna’s story happened in parallel with some of the events so far. Krishna was just about in the same generation as Kunti, Madri and Gandhari’s children.
Previous Mahabharat Episodes are here:
Episode 59 – River of Dreams
Episode 60 – Down By The River
Episode 68 – Waiting
Episode 69 – Father and Son
Episode 70 – The Art of the Deal
Episode 83 – Mahabharata – The Groom Reveal Party
Episode 84 – Mahabharat – A Princess Scorned
Episode 91 – Mahabharat – Amba
Episode 96 – Mahabharat – Vyas Ex Machina
Check out other Mahabharat Episodes too, some of which are peripherally linked to the main storyline, including
Episode 27 – The Rise of Shukra
Episode 28 – His Girl Friday
Episode 37 – A Fishy Engagement
That’s all for now.
Next Time
The next episode will be a folk tale from South India, about a demon whose favorite hobbies are listening to music and possessing princesses.