In this episode, we’re doing a folk tale from Karnataka. We’ve done a couple of tales from Karnataka before but this one is rather different from any we’ve covered before.
This one was requested by one of my long-time listeners. It’s a story of an Addams family version of a village and what happens to an outsider who tries to live there
Let’s dive right in.
Our curtain rises on two people walking across the country. There was the master, let’s call him Guru and his apprentice, Chela
Guru and Chela were walking across the country. Not because they loved it. It was just part of their profession. They would walk from one village to another, spreading their knowledge in exchange for food and shelter. Not a particularly lucrative profession, but I’m sure they got better tax breaks than most everyone else. And the job included lots of travel.
So anyway, they had been walking for a couple of days when they happened on a village that was not on their map. Which was actually pretty great, because it was evening and soon it would be dark.
The village had a welcome signpost. At least it should have been a welcome signpost. Except it just looked blank.
As they entered the village they noticed another astonishing fact. They didn’t see a single person! All the stores were shuttered. None of the houses they saw had any open windows or doors. Even the animals they saw – cows, sheep, goats were sleeping.
Guru didn’t want to hang around in this ghost town.
“But I’m hungry and tired” complained Chela.
“And how exactly are you solving either problem by staying here?” asked Guru.
Chela would have given in but at this point, a rooster crowed. That seemed to spark some activity. The sun had set, but only now doors and windows began opening, people started to emerge from their homes.
“See, I told you” said Chela. He started walking towards a cafe, which was now opening its doors.
The waitress gave them a weird look when Chela and Guru ordered an elaborate dinner with Roti, several subjis, and Biryani. “Are you sure you don’t want an omelet instead? Maybe boiled eggs and toast?” she asked
But Chela was firm. He was hungry! But, he was not so hungry as to forget common sense. “How much will it cost? You don’t have any prices on the menu” he asked the waitress
“One copper coin” replied the waitress
A meal like that would have cost at least a silver coin, maybe even gold in practically every other place they had been in.
He decided to test the waters more
“What about a pinch of salt to go with the food?”
“That’s a copper coin too. Listen mac everything on the menu is priced the same – one copper coin”
“Why is that?” asked Guru, speaking for the first time
“It’s a clever tactic from our King. He decided it’s easiest for everyone if everything costs the same. Didn’t you read our welcome signpost when you entered town?”
“We tried” replied Chela “but it was all blank”
“Oh that’s another clever decision by our King. We had both the background and the lettering on the boards in white. That way we didn’t have to buy two different colors of paint”
Guru and Chela enjoyed their dinner/breakfast. They did check in to a hotel, again for 1 copper coin each they got the presidential suite. Even if the hotel manager thought it was odd how they were checking in just when the night was getting started.
The next morning, Guru and Chela had a chat. Guru insisted it was in their best interest to move on.
“And give up this paradise?” asked Chela. “No way! I’ve paid a copper coin already and that lets me stay in this presidential suite for as long as I want. What I earned in the last village alone is enough to cover my food and living expenses for a year! Why should I walk across the country anymore?”
“Suit yourself” replied Guru. “But consider yourself warned. In the country of the foolish, no one wins.”
“Whatever,” said Chela, not really caring. He would order a bucketload of Shrikhand today. It would still be one copper coin. This was perfect, he told himself. Some months passed since Guru moved on.
Chela had put on a lot of weight. Not surprising considering the amount he ate, and the total lack of exercise.
One day, as it so happened, a burglar decided to break in and steal from a rich merchant in the village. It’s a bit beyond me how someone could get rich by buying and selling everything for the same identical price of one copper coin. But let’s gloss over this quite as the original folk tale does.
So anyway, the burglar picked the quietest part of the day, around noon, when everyone was sleeping. He used special burglar tools(yes, purchased for a copper coin) and made a hole in the wall of the merchant’s home. As he was crawling through, unfortunately for him a section of the wall collapsed on him, badly hurting him.
He viewed this as a miscarriage of justice and decided to seek a correction of the situation from the King himself.
He appeared the next day in the King’s court and explained. “Your majesty, I was performing my family’s traditional profession, when I was badly injured on the job. I want to see some punishment”
“How were you hurt?” asked the King
“It’s the wall of the merchant’s home. It collapsed on me” replied the burglar.
“Have the merchant brought here at once!” commanded the King
When that was done, the King announced that the Merchant was going to have to pay a big price for allowing his wall to collapse on this poor guy.
“When you say a big price, do you mean a copper coin, your majesty?” asked the Merchant hopefully.
“Silence!” roared the King. “You will be punished in the most severe way possible. You shall be put to death!”
The merchant was shocked by this. He needed to get out of this situation somehow.
“But.. your majesty! It’s not my fault.”
“Then whose fault is it?” asked the King
“The bricklayer who constructed my home. Surely he could have done a better job. That means he is responsible”
That logic worked with the King. The bricklayer was arrested and brought before the King.
The King sentenced him to death, at which point the bricklayer explained how it was not his fault.
“I clearly remember working on this merchant’s house. My work may not have been perfect. But that was because I was distracted! The dancer who lives next door to the merchant was walking up and down all night as I was working. The noise from her anklet as she walked was bothering me”
Again, this game of pass the parcel was working with the King.
The dancer was arrested, but she had an excuse too. She was impatiently waiting for the jeweler to finish making her new bangles.
The jeweler had an explanation too. He would have delivered the dancer’s order earlier. Except he had a competing, higher priority order that he had to work on first. The stricter deadline and higher priority on the other order were because the merchant was about to have a wedding in his house.
Now if you’re having a wedding in your house, it seems unlikely that you’d also be constructing parts of the house at the same time. It’s just that the scaffolding and construction equipment may interfere with the wedding festivities.
The King smiled impishly and said “and we come back full circle. So it’s the merchant who is responsible for hurting this poor thief”
“No your majesty, that was my dad. You can’t punish him. He’s no more” replied the merchant
“I will punish you,” he told the merchant. “The crimes of a parent must be visited on their children if necessary”
No amount of protesting from the merchant made any difference. He was to be executed.
However, luckily for him, the sentence could not be carried out immediately.
The executioner complained that he couldn’t because he didn’t have the proper jail clothes for the merchant. He only had extra large and extra extra large prisoner clothes. The merchant clearly needed small.
The King solved that problem as well. He asked his soldiers to fetch someone large, because to him that totally made sense.
Guess who the soldiers brought? Chela of course!
It was a weird trial where the only question Chela was asked was what size clothes he wore. As soon as he said Extra Extra large, the King pronounced him guilty!
Chela protested his innocence but the King was satisfied with his verdict.
The chain of reasoning was absolutely clear to the King.
In jail and awaiting execution, Chela recalled Guru’s warning about staying in a place like this. He prayed a silent prayer for his master to know what was up and to come to his rescue.
And, something like this should really have been mentioned earlier, but Guru was telepathic!
And luckily he was in a neighboring village. As Chela prayed for intervention, Guru who had been sleeping like ordinary humans do in the night, woke up with a start. Without wasting any time he rushed straight for the neighboring Village and the King’s court. It was still the middle of the night, which was a good thing. The court was in full session. Perfect.
He walked in and introduced himself
“Welcome to this Great Kingdom, Guru. How may we help you?” asked the King
“You know that guy you have lined up for execution? Chela?” asked Guru
“Indeed. Do you know him?” asked the King
“Yes, I do. He’s my apprentice” replied the Guru.
“I’m not going to let him go. We already put him in death row clothes and set the stage for his execution. I can’t find someone else” said the King
“And I’m not asking you to. All I want is a few minutes to chat with him.” said the Guru
“I suppose that is reasonable,” said the King who was normally very unreasonable.
So Guru and Chela met..
“There there,” said Guru as Chela wept on his shoulders. “I have a cunning plan”
Quickly he whispered something to Chela so the guards outside the prison cell could not hear.
The next night when the execution was about to begin, the stage was set. The King was ready with popcorn. Chela was brought forward. A clerk read the charges against him. Just then, Guru stepped out of the crowd. He addressed the King and began “Your majesty, I…”
“Now, now, Guru. Remember what I told you yesterday. You can’t stop me hanging your apprentice. The wheels are already in motion. Your man is guilty”
“I am not suggesting that at all your Majesty,” replied Guru. “I have a request”
“What is it?” asked the King.
“I would like to be executed before Chela”
“What? You are volunteering as tribute?” asked the King. “No one has done that before”
“Undoubtedly they were not as wise as I am” replied Guru.
At this point Chela piped in “Your majesty, don’t listen to him. I want to be executed first! You can have him killed too, I have no objections to that. But I must go first”.
This transformation in a single day from someone desperately trying to avoid execution to someone embracing it, was stunning, to say the least. Chela was actually enthusiastic now. He tugged at the soldiers who were holding him in his chains.
“C’mon, let’s get this show on the road,” said Chela with a bright, enthusiastic smile. “I haven’t got all night”
“No your majesty, execute me first” spoke up Guru.
“Stop! I will decide who goes first. But first, let me understand what is going on” said the King. “Guru – tell me what is happening here”
Guru appeared reluctant and did not say anything. Neither did Chela when the King asked him.
Finally, Guru bowed under pressure when King threatened to have Chela executed first. That is to say, apparently. This was part of Guru’s plan.
As if reluctantly, Guru finally told him that with his divine gifted vision he had perceived a secret.
Whoever was executed next in this Kingdom would become King in their next seven lives, because the afterlife was a core part of the beliefs and values of most citizens in medieval India.
The King thought about this and came to the conclusion that Guru and Chela were hoping for.
The King thought what Guru said must be real. For scholars like Guru and Chela to agree must mean they had each independently come to the conclusion. Even if they hadn’t it was okay. They both believed it. So it must be true.
He faced them and said “Gentlemen. I am afraid I cannot grant your wish. I wish to secure my future. So, I shall be executed next.”
He stepped down from the throne and headed for the stage, to loud cheers from the crowd.
Guru and Chela looked resigned to their fate.
The King, smiling from ear to ear, stepped up and was promptly executed.
The Guru prepared to launch into an explanation for why Guru and Chela should not be executed now. But that was not necessary.
As if a spell was broken, the executioner himself and everyone else present snapped out of it.
They didn’t want Guru and Chela who had rid them of their evil unreasonable King. What they wanted was guidance on becoming normal.
They asked for Guru and Chela to become their next King. But the scholars had a better idea.
They chaired various committees to bring the village to normalcy, including free-market economics, sleeping at night like the rest of the world, and signposts that actually told visitors useful information.
That’s all for now
Some notes on the show
I have made a few minor modifications from the original. A minister advised the King, but there was no reason for him to be a separate character other than to offer Chela the newly vacated post of minister.
In the original story Guru and Chela do actually become King and Minister. But that ending was probably tailored to the monarchy of the time.
The word Guru and Chela are hindi words for master and disciple.
That’s all for now.
Next Time
In the next episode, we’re back in the world of the Mahabharat. We’ll see the Hastinapur dynasty in trouble. Again!