This week, we’re doing a folk tale from Assam. We’ll see how cats could give birth to human children, and yet how it is impossible for humans to give birth to kitchen utensils!
So let’s jump right in
It was just a regular summer day in a little village in medieval India.
In a hut in the village, there was a farmer with his wife, Chalu, who was expecting.
The wife was wondering what she should cook for dinner when a voice chimed in – “how about some fish?”. It was their pet cat, Billi… who could talk!
The cat was expecting as well. She had a strong craving for fish that day.
Chalu, instead of taking a video of a talking cat, acted as if nothing was unusual about that. She pointed out that in order for them to have fish for dinner, someone needed to first fetch the fish! Would the Cat be a dear and bring some?
“Of course” replied Billi “anything for my bump buddy!”
But it wasn’t going to be easy. Billi had no luck fishing in the pond. Finally giving up, she went to the market, and she bought some just like any other customer. With great difficulty, the Cat managed to carry out the transaction in the checkout lane. This wasn’t the age for curbside pickup, though if Billi had been a human she could have probably had home delivery.
Rushing home, she handed over the fish to Chalu. The farmer’s wife was pleased. This looked like an excellent fish. She made fish curry and it smelled delicious!
Billi couldn’t wait to taste the fish that she’d been craving and had worked so hard for.
Chalu served herself and her husband and Billi a portion. But when the Cat looked down, she saw all she had in her bowl were bones!
Billi said, slowly, “Chalu, we’ve known each for years, right? And I mean, not to put too fine a point on it, you do realize I’m not a dog right?”
“Of course, dear” replied Chalu. “But I can’t give you the fish. You have to be happy with the bones”
“Are you kitten me?” exclaimed Billi
Chalu replied – “Bad Cat pun aside, it’s not like you did much. I did all the hard work of cooking it!”
Chalu’s husband, hearing this and realizing that he’d contributed absolutely nothing towards the fish or the curry, startedstarting wolfing it down before anyone could take it away from him.
But no one was going to attempt that. Billi was hurt. She’d been betrayed. She walked away, quite like the pied piper must have done when he was betrayed by the townspeople of Hamelin.
She prayed silently for a reversal of fortune. And a month later, that’s exactly what happened.
Chalu and Billi had both been expecting, and now they each gave birth at about the same time.
But it was Billi who had human baby twins and Chalu who had kittens!
A Cat the size of a human baby giving birth to two human babies may give you pause/[paws] but obviously there was some magic at work here.
The Cat turned out to be a better parent than Chalu could have been. She took care of her daughters very well, bringing them up on a steady diet of milk and fish, and supplementing their education with books by William Shakespurr and J.K. Meowling.
Many years passed. The daughters, Nadhi, and Kadhai, grew up. Billi continued to fetch them food every day.
One day Nadhi asked her – “Mummy, what if something happens to you?”
Undoubtedly she had learnt by now that their mum was quite past the average lifespan of a household cat.
Billi was prepared for this question. She had a plan! Here observe this bowl of milk. If the milk turns grey, you’ll know something’s happened to me. You must look for me.
“What?!” said Kadhai. “That sounds like spooky action-at-a-distance. Is there a relativistic speed-of-light delay?” She was familiar with the works of Catbert Einstein. Are you Schrodinger’s Cat?”
“Never you mind,” said Billi as she went out.
But as it happened, the very same day the milk did turn grey.
Worrying for their mother, Nidhi and Kadhai immediately began looking for her.
They wandered far and wide together. There was no sign of her. Kadhai was tired. She couldn’t go on anymore. She sat on a rock, as Nadhi ran off to a nearby river to fetch water for her sister. But the river had other plans. The river spirit, was really a person, just like the Ocean in Disney’s Moana was a bonafide character. The river spirit and Nadhi began with some small talk and that pretty quickly accelerated. Within no time, her sister completely forgotten, Nadhi set off with the river spirit to have her own adventures.
Well, Kadhai had nowhere to go, and she was tired. As she sat there by the riverside all by herself, a merchant happened to drive by.
The merchant Vyapari was quite smitten by Kadhai and promised her grand adventures himself, quite like the river spirit had done with Nadhi.
Vyapari and Kadhai soon married over the objections of his sisters. And when the couple was expecting a baby, the sisters decided to act. They saw the baby and Kadhai as just cutting them out of a future inheritance.
They were wrong. Because it wasn’t a baby that was going to cut them out of their inheritance. It was babies. Kadhai was carrying twins.
When the twins were born, they quickly took them away and replaced them with the handiest things they could find in the kitchen!
When Vyapari rushed into the maternity ward expecting to hug his infant child, he was quite taken aback to see instead a couple of pots!
Kadhai recovered at about this point, and both looked at each other. Kadhai was sure this had to be a mistake. She would’ve known the difference between carrying babies and carrying pots!
But Vyapari’s sisters thought there could be no controversy about this. They had witnessed it themselves. Kadhai had indeed given birth to those pots. If he needed proof, he just had to look. Even the bottom of the pots had the carved words – “Property of Vyapari”.
Vyapari thought that this was compelling, which goes to show how gullible some people are.
But then, he thought, hadn’t Kadhai told him her mother was a Cat? Maybe he should have gone deeper into that conversation.
Regardless, this was unacceptable. Not to stereotype, but he didn’t want to stay with a crazy cat lady. And he didn’t need more kitchen utensils. He had a well-equipped kitchen!
He forced Kadhai out of the house. She then stayed in a tiny hut at the edge of the village.
Vyapari continued on with his life without Kadhai.
Soon, Vyapari was proved wrong about his kitchen being well-equipped.
The cook complained about how a couple of pans had gone missing. Still, Vyapari did not make the connection.
Meanwhile Kadhai’s twins, not the pots, I mean the babies were alive and well!
Vyapari’s sisters had taken them away and cast them into the river. Obviously they had not paid attention to Kadhai when she explained her life story, or they wouldn’t have taken such an action.
The river spirit recognized the babies! The family resemblance with
This river spirit was as skillful at handling babies as the Ocean had been with the baby Moana.
He swiftly took the babies to his own wife, Nadhi.
Nadhi heard the story and concluded that the babies were unwanted in Kadhai’s house.
But no longer. She would bring the babies like they were her own.
That’s how it happened for years. Meanwhile, Kadhai continued in her role as the village crazy lady.
The babies(a boy and a girl) grew up into smart, witty, and very well-behaved children.
When they were old enough, they asked Nadhi and the River spirit – why were they calling them Auntie and Uncle again? Weren’t they Mom and Dad?
Nadhi revealed the whole story to them. The children, who meant well, decided it was time to set things right. And to go talk to their real mother. Make sure she was okay and all that.
Nadhi respected their decision and let them go.
But before they could go they Uncle had something to reveal.
You see, their Uncle, River spirit was in the habit of collecting a toll. A personal item from each passerby. Once when Vyapari and his family were passing by, he’d collected Vyapari’s sunglasses. He handed the RayBans to the twins and wished them well.
The twins soon reached the village and in the very first hut they met Aunt Nadhi. Actually it wasn’t Aunt Nadhi, it was someone who looked exactly like Aunt Nadhi!
This must be their mother Kadhai!
They hugged her. Kadhai was overjoyed to meet her children for the first time!
When she explained her version of the story, all three quickly rushed to Vyapari’s house and explained the whole situation.
Vyapari didn’t believe the kids. Until they showed him his RayBays!
“Oh, my precious ones! I am so glad to have you back!” he screamed in excitement as he caressed his sunglasses. They had been his favorite pair.
In the background, Kadhai cleared her throat.
Vyapari fumbled, realized his mistake and changed his tune right away. “Oh, my children! How have you been, I’m so happy to meet you”
As the situation began to sink in Vyapari was repentant for his own actions, and enraged at his sisters who’d been so evil to his newborn children.
He pleaded with Kadhai and the children to return to the house and stay with him.
Kadhai firmly shook her head. Years of mistreatment and separation from her children – this was damage that could not be repaired.
She walked away with her children. She would have new adventures together with her children!
That’s all for now
Notes
The beginning of the story may remind you of the Pied piper of Hamelin’s story. Chalu promised the Cat some fish just like the Hamelin townspeople promised the Piper gold coins. They both cheated and lost children as a result.
The names of the characters are Hindi words linked to them.
Chalu means sly or cunning, Billi is the word for Cat, Nadhi means River, Vyapari means trader, and Kadhai means a pot.
I’ve changed the ending a bit. The original story had Kadhai and the children moving in with Vyapari again, despite their ill-treatment.
This story leaves a lot of loose ends – we don’t find out what happened to Chalu and her baby kittens. That could have branched into an interesting story as well!
Billi simply drops from the story. As do Nadhi and the River Spirit.
If the Schrodinger’s cat paradox is not familiar, it’s a famous Physics thought experiment. Do look it up, but beware, it is really confusing!
Next Time
If you missed the previous update, I just want to post you that I’ve changed the format of the show a little bit to suit your preferences, based on some feedback I received. The characters of the week are now a separate mini-episode by themselves on Wednesday nights/Thursday mornings.
The character on Thursday is Shiva’s home security system who’s also a bull! In some depictions he looks like a gentle version of a Minotaur!
That’s all for this week.