Episode 34 – A Damsel in Distress

This week, we’re back into the world of Vikram and Betaal. Ordinarily I like to spread out these stories. But this time I had a listener specifically request a Vikram and Betaal story. So I’ll break with tradition this time.

The character this week is is a sibling of Varuna, who was a recent character of the week. This one rides a gazelle. Not surprising then that he’s as fast as the Wind. Another reason is that he is the Wind.

If you haven’t heard the previous Vikram and Betaal Episodes – that’s still okay. Because all of the stories are standalone. I do recommend checking out Episode 5 – Kingly Duties though, because there’s some background information on why Vik and the Vampire were on their rinse and repeat cycle.

Here’s a summary: Vikramaditya or Vik, was a wise king. Once a rishi gave him a daily gift – a precious gem disguised as a fruit. 

To repay the gifts, the king agreed to fulfill the Rishi’s very simple wish of fetching him a Betaal from the crematorium. A Betaal in case you don’t know is a reanimated corpse though, in some translations, it has been approximated to a Vampire.

The Betaal mostly loved hanging around in a tree by hanging down from it, like a bat. He did not want to be captured. The only way he could escape though was if the king said something. So the Betaal told stories to the king, and those stories were all lateral thinking puzzles that tricked the king into speaking. The King was smart enough to know the answer but not smart enough to hold his tongue.

We return to the crematorium with Vik walking towards the Rishi with the captured Betaal on his back.

The Betaal began his story. As usual with the premise that it was a long walk and Vik looked sullen. Maybe a story would take his mind off of serious matters, would he like to hear it?

Fresh off yet another chase up the tree and a recapture, Vik’s tired limbs reminded him to keep his mouth shut. For now.

The Betaal began his story as if Vik had given him the go-ahead, which he hadn’t.

A long long time ago, in a Kingdom far far away, there lived princess Chandralekha.
There were many princes from far away kingdoms who really wanted to be with her. It wasn’t just that she was a very capable princess, and quite a celebrity in Ancient India.

The icing on the cake was that whoever married her would inherit her father’s kingdom.

A number of princes showed up seeking her hand in marriage, but they were all rejected outright. Except for three.

Each of those 3 princes had a unique selling point!

The first one, Drishti, claimed that he could see the past, the present, and the future. I swear it wasn’t me!

The second one, Aavi claimed that he’d constructed a chariot all by himself. 

“Umm, and what exactly is so special about that?” Asked the princess.

“It doesn’t just travel on land, it can fly! It can swim!”

“Golly! Did you consider making it like a carpet? We could get out of the palace, see a whole new world!”

“Ahem” interrupted the third Prince, Shakti. “I have a sword”

Chandralekha and the Drishti and Aavi looked at him.

Chandralekha said finally “I’m up to my eyeteeth with Swords! My father owns Sword making factories. We export them everywhere. We raffle them off in every contest, we gift each other swords on birthdays, even our birthday cakes are sword-shaped. Do you really think I want to look at another sword?”

“No, no, this one is special! I just have to aim it at someone and the sword does the rest. It never misses, and always does a thorough job” 

“How do you know it never misses?” asked the Princess

“I have a side hustle as a sword thrower on stage. You know the one where there’s an audience volunteer against a target and I neatly manage to hit everything on the target without harming them? I can demonstrate if any of you would like to see that”

But no one wanted to be a part of it.

“Let me sleep on it,” said the Princess “I’ll tell you my decision tomorrow”

But the next morning, when the princes showed up bright and early, there was chaos in the palace! The Princess had been kidnapped! Someone had broken into the palace. The bets were all on a dragon, but it was more likely to be a demon also called a Rakshas. No one knew where she was, or if she was even alive.

Drishti concentrated and then announced to everyone. Yes! The Princess had been kidnapped. She was alive but not for long. A giant Rakshas had locked her up and was planning to eat her!

“And you know this because of your vision?” asked Aavi.

“Yes! But I knew you wouldn’t believe me. So I’ll tell you something no one else knows – you have candy wrappers in your left pocket, and your favorite magazine is Vanity Fair”.

Aavi was shocked, dumbfounded. “I like seeing fashion trends, nothing wrong with that”

“Of course not, here I’ll just draw us a map of the Rakshas’s mansion. Here’s how the security system works. We have to hurry – the Rakshas has just put the water to boil, so he might start cooking her soon”

The Princes took off on Aavi’s chariot. It could really fly. Drishti knew that of course.

When they got there, the Rakshas had just finished chopping up the vegetables and was ready to move on the Chandralekha.

The Rakshas was a giant! And for some reason he was wearing his armor while cooking. But  Shakti got his sword out and pointed it. It flew out of his hands and made straight for the Rakshas finding exactly the gap in his armor and killing him instantly.

They all returned back to Chandralekha’s Kingdom.

Now Chandralekha had to choose. There was a case to be made for each of the three princes.
Should she marry Drishti, without whose knowledge she’d never have been rescued? Knowing everything in advance might be useful. They could win the lottery. They could be perfect rulers, knowing everything in advance and preparing for it.

But should she instead marry Aavi who had a combination private plane, yacht, and limo? She could really go anywhere at any time. Moreover, Aavi was self-made. He’d built the chariot himself whereas Drishti was born with his precognition, and Shakti had acquired his sword in a game of chance. Maybe Aavi could invent more stuff.

And then there was Shakti. He was arguably the most powerful person in the world. All he had to do was to point the Sword at someone and it would do the rest. And she had had no doubt that without this special Sword the Rakshas would not have been defeated.

Vik, whom should she choose?

Vik answered – “She should choose whomever she likes best.
Clearly, all three princes contributed to her rescue even though Shakti was the one who dealt the final blow”

The Betaal said that she liked them all the same amount. How was Vik going to break the tie?

Given the constant wars between Kingdoms in Ancient India, I’d have to say, Prince Shakti.

He saved her life after all and could do it again. He’d never have any enemies. Those who didn’t know about the Sword would be killed by it if they dared attack them. The rest would not want to do anything to upset anyone in possession of a sword like that.

I was tempted to say Drishti because he could find a way to acquire the Chariot and the Sword from the other two, that’d be perfect!

But it would be annoying living with someone who knows every detail about you like when you picked your nose or exactly how many cookies you took from the cookie jar.

“Right again Vik!” said the Betaal. “But guess what you’ve been speaking all this while. So bye-bye!”

The Betaal flew off again. Vik is going to go and get him but in a future episode.


That’s all for today.

A couple of notes

I’ve chosen the names of the three Princes a bit based on what their specialty is. Aavi is short for Avishkaarik in Hindi, which means inventor.

Drishti is the Hindi word for vision.

And Shakti means power, also synonymous with strength.

The Character of the Week

Today’s Character of the Week is the God of Wind, Vayu!

He’s a sibling of Varuna, who was also a recent character of the week. Vayu rides a gazelle. 

He had to pick an animal that was at least as fast as him. Otherwise what’s the point of having a ride? 

One particular incident I want to mention that I was involved in.

Vayu the wind and Mt. Meru a sentient mountain and the center of the universe were good friends. Until I had a conversation within Vayu. Not completely on purpose, but I may have egged on Vayu a bit more than necessary. Vayu decided to cut Meru down to size. He blew with all his might against the mountain. The mountain didn’t budge of course, but Vayu persisted.

As you may have learned in Geography, wind erodes stone over millions of years. 

Despite heroic intervention from the half-man half-bird Garuda, Vayu managed to break off the top of the mountain. The large pieces of rock crumbled and fell into the sea and the largest of those created the island of Sri Lanka. Island creation a unique side-effect of erosion that Geography books may not have taught you.

Meru was the character of the week in Episode 12 – Annabelle and the 40 thieves and Garuda held that post in the very first episode – Unicorn Fish

A new format

I’ve had some good listener feedback recently. And accordingly, I’m changing the format of the show a little bit to suit your preferences. From next time, the characters of the week will be a separate mini-episode by themselves. These will be released on Wednesday night in the US, or Thursday morning in India and Europe.

The Character Next Time

The character of the week next time is a God who began as a regular boy made of clay, and then had a head transplant….. with an Elephant. While some people find snakeskin belts fashionable in this day and age, this God’s belt is an actual snake! 

I’ll see you next week!