This week, we’re back into the world of Akbar and Birbal. We’ll see how one can stay warm despite being in the middle of a freezing lake all night, and also see what the term “slow cooker” really meant in medieval India
The character this week is the sister of Ram and Laxman. Most people are unaware of her and for a good reason. She doesn’t appear in most versions of the Ramayana
If you haven’t heard earlier Akbar and Birbal stories, do check them out: Episode 9 A clever minister in King Akbar’s court. And Episode 10 – The Great Detective.
But all of these Akbar and Birbal stories are standalone, so you don’t strictly need to.
The premise of all these stories is that Birbal is a minister in King Akbar’s court and is one smart cookie!
Akbar is often confronted with what seems to be an unsolvable problem. And always, it’s Birbal who gets them out of the soup. Very much like Jeeves and Wooster from P.G. Wodehouse’s books. Or sometimes Akbar manufactures the problem himself, very much *NOT* like Bertie Wooster.
Our story begins on a cool winter evening as Akbar and Birbal were taking a stroll. They came to a little pond. Akbar said that he really felt like taking a dip…… Yeah, like I’ve been saying. Eccentric.
“Umm, your majesty, are you really sure?” asked Birbal “the water looks quite cold”
Akbar was already taking off his shoes at this point. He paused “How cold?” he asked
Birbal dipped his hand in the water and said “It’s not exactly icy, but this is about as cold as it gets in the tropics”
Akbar having dipped a toe himself had to agree. “This is pretty ghastly. I bet it’s a new ice age”.
Birbal made a silent mental note to instruct the minister of meteorology to present alternative “facts” proving Akbar’s ice age theory”
“In fact,” continued Akbar, “this is far too cold for man or beast. I bet no one could stand it”
“Ah, there I must contradict you, your majesty. I wager I could find someone who could stand in this water all night”
“No way! You’re on!” said the emperor. “Let’s have the bet for, say, a thousand gold coins”. This was pocket change for someone who was the ruler of most of India.
Birbal quickly went about looking for just such a person and returned in 5 minutes. He found someone who was poor and desperate enough to audition for this edition of “Fear Factor”. Let’s call him Bahadur.
The bet between the King and his courtier may remind you of Tenali Raman. But unlike Tenali Raman, Birbal was generous enough to promise the entire reward – the thousand gold coins to Bahadur.
A thousand gold coins was a lot of money in those days, just as it is today. Bahadur gladly accepted. He waded into the middle of the pond and stayed there. Do NOT attempt this at home. You will almost certainly fall sick.
Akbar posted a couple of guards to keep watch on Bahadur all night and headed off to his warm and comfortable bed and down bedding and pillows while one of his subjects stood in the middle of a cold pond, with cold winds blowing above.
If Birbal felt a little guilty about having dragged Bahadur into this, it was offset by his knowledge that the man would receive a 1000 gold coins, which was probably a 1000 times what the average citizen earned. Tomorrow morning everything would be ok.
But the next morning, it was NOT ok. It started off fine though. Akbar asked for Bahadur to be brought before him. “Oh! And do cover him in a blanket or something” he instructed.
Before people could appreciate this gesture though, he added “We don’t want him to drip all over palace floor after all”
Bahadur was brought over, along with the guards. Yes, the guards confirmed. Bahadur had indeed stayed in the water all night. Yes, actually in the water. He didn’t have a raft or a floaty or anything. No, he hadn’t had a drinks break or anything either.
Akbar reluctantly called his treasurer over and had him count out a thousand gold coins.
While the treasurer did his job, Akbar out of pure boredom made casual conversation with Bahadur.
“So, how exactly did you manage to stay in the water all night?”
“It was hard at first, your majesty” admitted Bahadur. “But then in the distance, I saw a street lamp”
“Which one? The one that’s about a mile away?”
“Yes, your majesty. That lamp was the one bright spot during the night. It looked so warm and inviting. I imagined being near it and focused on nothing else. And that is what got me through the night”
“Wait a minute. So you cheated!” said Akbar. “You were supposed to stand in the water and bear the cold, but you kept yourself warm by the streetlamp”
“But….but….your majesty!” Bahadur tried to interrupt but Akbar wouldn’t listen. He had Bahadur thrown out with no reward at all.
Birbal was disappointed, sure. But he wasn’t about to let this go. He’d put Bahadur’s life in danger, and now Akbar was quibbling about a silly technicality? The emperor was going to learn his lesson.
The next day, Birbal didn’t show up in court. He didn’t have an out of office reply set either. Birbal was his go-to person for everything. Again, like Jeeves and Wooster. Naturally, Akbar was worried. He had a couple of soldiers sent over to Birbal’s house.
They came back soon enough – Birbal was making his breakfast. He’d finish cooking it, eating it and would then be in the office.
Ah, that’s all it is? Thought Akbar, and decided to wait.
An hour passed and still no Birbal.
The guard was sent again. He came back soon enough with an identical message – Birbal was cooking breakfast and would be over as soon as he was done cooking and eating it
“No, you’re repeating the previous message,” said Akbar to the guard.
“No your majesty. Birbal is still making breakfast” replied the guard.
Another hour and no Birbal. Akbar was incredibly annoyed now. He had to go see for himself what Birbal was doing for so long. On the way, he picked up some Bagels and coffee from Dunkin Donuts. Because, you know, a backup plan.
When he got there he was surprised to see what Birbal was cooking. Birbal had all the right ingredients. There was a fire, very essential for cooking. There was a pot. It had raw ingredients in it, and probably all in the right proportion.
But Akbar thought he could spot where the flaw was.
“Birbal,” he said. “You’ve hung the pot too far from the flame. The pot is supposed to be *on* the flame, not hanging 5 feet in the air above it! Even I, know that much, though I’ve never cooked anything in my life”
“Why won’t it work, your majesty?” asked Birbal
“Because of Thermodynamics – you know the principles of heat transfer. You really ought to all these things yourself without me having to tell you. There are 3 kinds – conduction, convection, and radiation. When you place the pot right on the flame, its Conduction. A much better way of transferring heat than radiation which is what you’re doing here”.
“Your majesty is such an expert!” said the Birbal. “Could you please also explain how in the pond Bahadur received warmth from the street lamp a mile away?”
Akbar had cleanly walked into the trap.
Akbar, of course, had no answer to this. He didn’t have a choice. He had to cough up the thousand gold coins after all. All of which Birbal promptly handed over to Bahadur.
That’s it for now.
Notes
Well, before you feel too bad for Bahadur who had to stand all night in the water, keep in mind that in a mostly-tropical country like India, the water was nowhere near freezing. That is not to say that it was ok to subject Bahadur to this sort of a dare.
Bahadur is a Hindi word sort of synonymous with daredevil.
The Character of the Week
The character this week is the sister of Ram and Laxman most people don’t know existed. She doesn’t appear in most versions of the Ramayana.
Shanta was Dasharath and Kaushalya’s daughter. She was given up for adoption. No reason specified. Her adoptive father is King Lompada.
We’ve encountered these characters before in Episode 7 – Kingdom by Horse.
But King Lompada is the King who was a generally spoilt brat, and whose spoilt brattiness caused the Kingdom to be in drought. Lompada at this point sought Rishyasringa who was this Rishi who lived in the forest and who could work some magic. But Rishyasringa was a hermit, a loner. He didn’t really want to step out of his comfortable life where he could go by for years without talking or hearing anyone.
Lompada sent Shanta over to Rishyasringa’s hut hoping that she would impress him and play the sympathy card and get him to help the King out of his difficult position.
Well, impress him she did! In fact so much so that she ended up marrying Rishyasringa.
Later, when Dasharath sought Rishysringa’s help, part of the reason Rishyasringa may have agreed was probably that Dasharath was after all his father-in-law.
That’s it for this week.
Next Week
Next week we’ll do an interesting folk tale from Madhya Pradesh, about a magic cow that makes gold everytime it…goes to the bathroom, and a bowl that can make any food appear
The character next week is someone whom we’ve encountered a lot on this podcast. It’s my dad! Brahma the creator, we’ll talk about him, and I promise I’ll cover new information we previously haven’t talked about. Which means we’ll lay off the wish fulfilment…
I’ll see you next week!