Episode 10 – The Great Detective

This week we’ll continue with a couple of Akbar and Birbal stories. You’ll see how in the absence of magnifying glasses and a chemistry lab to test fingerprints and footprints and extensive books on ash deposits, Sherlock Holmes could still have done a bang up job by simply applying psychology.

The character this week is a tree. The tree of life. Its magical, it can give you anything you wish for. And no, it’s not an Ent from the Lord of the Rings movies. Nor is it the hometree from the Avatar movie.

Let’s jump right in. 

If you haven’t heard the last episode here’s some quick background: Akbar was the Emperor of 16th century India. Like most rulers we have met in this podcast, he was a fair king but unlike most of those kings he was eccentric. He appreciated intellect and wisdom, both of which were abundant in his court, but concentrated all in one person- Birbal. 

Birbal was his most trusted advisor, and also his constant test subject for the most difficult cases. Kinda like inspector Lestrade with Sherlock Holmes, if Sherlock Holmes had to obey all of Lestrade’s orders that is.

We’ll cover two such cases today 

The first one was a prank, the orchestrator behind the crime was the Emperor himself!

Imagine if Lestrade had been professor Moriarty all along?

Well, akbar wanted to test Sherlock’s, I mean Birbal’s powers of deduction. So one day when Birbal was being a bit tardy, Akbar and the rest of the court decided to play a prank on him.

Now instead of squirting him with water from a fake flower or zapping him when shaking his hand, they decided to take things up a notch. No, Birbal was an intellectually sound guy, a physical prank would be wasted on him.

They decided to pretend a crime had been committed, the crown jewels were stolen. The emperor gave his ring to one of his courtiers to hide. Now all they had to do was to collectively perform an oscar-worthy act when Birbal got there. That might sound like a big deal, but a good incentive was the frequency with which Akbar was liable to say “off with his head”. He could have even given the Queen of Hearts from Alice in Wonderland a run for her money.

I guess it comes of putting teenagers on the throne, to rule over millions of people.

Next thing you know he might call for elections or something.

Anyway, getting back to the story – when the poor unsuspecting Birbal arrived fully expecting to be told off for being late, he was quite surprised to see the level of agitation in the king. “Woah, I know I am late but aren’t you overreacting a bit?” he asked the emperor.

“Birbal”, shouted the emperor. “My ring has been stolen”

“Are you sure you didn’t just misplace it?”

“No I am positive I was wearing it” said Akbar. 

“Did you drop it in your soup? He asked as he saw servants clearing away dishes- apparently the emperor and all courtiers had just finished lunch”

“No I am certain it was stolen. Find my ring at once” commanded Akbar “it’s been in my family for generations and I must have it back. If you don’t, off with your head”

A far cry from Lestrade politely asking Sherlock to help him out with a case.

Birbal didn’t have much to go on, but Akbar was clearly not going to answer any more questions. 

“Alright your majesty” said Birbal. 

He lit a small fire in a lamp even though it was daytime and fully bright. He started alternately whispering and listening to the fire – no one could make out what he was saying. Everyone was puzzled and tried to ask him questions but he shushed them. Birbal was in a good position to see all the courtiers from where he was standing. He continued muttering into the fire and listening to it. A few minutes of this, and then finally he turned his gaze back to the courtiers and addressed Akbar.

I know how to identify the culprit your majesty. I have just spoken to the spirits. They said the person who has your ring has a little twig stuck in their beard. As he said this, the man whom Akbar had given the ring actually got worried and stroked his beard afraid that he did actually have a twig. He was the only one in court to do so. 

“Aha” said Birbal pointing to the guy who meanwhile still had not been able to find any twig in his beard, which should not surprise anyone, because that had just been a ruse.

Akbar had to admit everything and they just hit the reset button on their relationship and other stories followed along like normal.

I don’t know what Birbal had planned in case many courtiers had stroked their beards, but I’m sure Birbal would have come up with something else. A beard was a reasonable idea, given women weren’t in court at all, and of the men present everyone had a beard, except maybe Birbal and Akbar themselves. It wasn’t that Gillette razors and shaving creams were in short supply, it was just the fashion of the day. Just like wigs in 17th century France.

The fact that the entire court was able to keep their act together, and the fact that Birbal himself was able to convincingly act out his part of conversing with the fire, should confirm what we already knew – that every politician is a great actor, specifically that they can lie with a straight face.

Our second story begins with a merchant who had come in to Akbar’s court to complain. Someone had stolen his gold necklace. Because we’re talking about 16th century India it was perfectly normal for merchants to show off their wealth by flaunting gold jewelry all the time. Except when taking a bath. And that’s when the merchant’s necklace was stolen. There were several people in the house, secretaries and the doorman and the paperboy and the cook and the butler and the maid and many others. They each had had an opportunity to be alone with the necklace at least briefly, and no one could be sure when exactly the necklace went missing.

A lookout wasn’t necessary for the thief. The merchant was known to sing loudly in the shower like most of us do, there was no risk of being caught by him at least. It was a wild enough idea to suppose one of them had committed the act, that it was considered unreasonable to suppose two of them did.

And yes, the windows were closed, so this wasn’t a thieving magpie or a cleverly trained monkey coming in through the window and stealing the necklace.

Clearly the thief was one of the servants. But they all denied it and not one of them was a more likely culprit than the rest. 

Yeah, so what do you want me to do? Akbar asked the merchant.

I want my necklace back replied the merchant.

Easy, punish all of them until one of them confesses. All the servants immediately became nervous. 

No, that didnt work said Akbar – they all reacted the same.

Akbar didnt see a way forward. But he had to do this without losing face.

This is too easy for me. This is so easy in fact that even Birbal can do it. Birbal can you take care of this? I’m going to handle the much more complex task of deciding which cakes to pick for the next annual palace ball.

Birbal rolled his eyes.

Okay, so this is your lucky day said Birbal to the merchant.
It is? How? Why? Are you going to try to convince me that I’m better off without my necklace? Dont you dare!

Not at all, said Birbal calmly. By lucky day, I mean only today I learnt a new kind of magic. I can cast a spell to figure out who the culprit is.

He then had a palace servant bring a bunch of sticks all of identical length and gave one to each of the servants. He then cast a very elaborate spell. The words abracadabra and hocus pocus were said frequently and in between Birbal did some elaborate moves that might be easily recognizable as a combination of a moonwalk and barynya dance, but birbal maintained a very serious face throughout.

He did this for a while. Finally, he said to them. Alright my work is done. Now each of you take your stick home, and come back tomorrow morning. By the awesome power of the spell I have cast, the thief’s stick will grow longer by exactly two inches. Now go. And guard your stick with your life.

They all left, believing every word Birbal said. All were satisfied that they would soon be proven innocent. All except the thief.

Birbal himself went home happy, he could skip the gym today – all that dancing meant he’d hit his daily step goal at least according to his fitbit.

Everyone came back the next day and then they all compared sticks and suprise surprise. One of the sticks was shorter than the rest not longer.

Akbar reacted with shock. Does that mean all of them stole the necklace together except for that one guy over there.

How perceptive of you your majesty. You’re almost exactly right said birbal. Except its the complete opposite.

The person with the shortest stick is actually the one who stole the necklace.

It wasnt a real magic spell but just a clever use of psychology.

Psychology, what’s that asked Akbar?

Its the study of people and how they react, I just gave it the silliest possible name I could think of said Birbal.

I figured the real culprit would have worried that their stick would have grown 2 inches longer than everyone else’s.  Next morning they would definitely be caught. Unless they took preventive action. And what would be the preventive action? Why, simply slice off 2 inches of the stick. Then when the stick grew it would be exactly the same length as everyone else’s. 

The thief did that. But there wasnt actually any spell, so he ended up incriminating himself.

He was promptly hanged, because 16th century India was quite unforgiving, but only after he returned the necklace. 

The merchant and the emperor and everyone else was very impressed with Birbal.

And yeah, if you were wondering – it *was* the butler who’d done it.

Character of the week

The character this week is the kalpavriksha. Vriksha means tree, and the kalpavriksha is a very special magical tree that can grant any wish. Kalpavriksha was born out of the ocean. A massive experiment on a planetary scale. Sort of like the large Hadron collider but from a completely different era.

This tree was on the earth. But as you can imagine when people discover a means to get their wishes fulfilled, it doesnt take long for them to abuse the powers of the tree.

Which is probably why in future wish-fulfillment beings(like the Genie from Aladdin) there was a hard limit of 3 wishes per person. They probably added the humor to compensate for the strictly enforced limit.

Indra, who is the god of heaven decided to do something to stop people misusing the tree. So he took the tree into heaven. Did that stop the misuse by people? Sure. Was the tree misused by gods? I wont say.

Even though the tree is in heaven, we can still see it, on a clear night away from city lights. Its the milky way in our night sky. Havent you heard of wishing on a star before? You can wish on the whole galaxy of stars, your wish might just come true, if you dont misuse the tree’s powers that is.

Next Week

Next week we’ll start on the story of Krishna whom you may remember as subhadra’s brother from when she was character of the week a few episodes ago. You’ll see why it takes very little to divide brother and sister. And how a simple sleeping spell could solve all of life’s problems.

And you’ll see how krishna could have been a role model for James bond. He has secret identities, information and intelligence from practically everywhere, has awesome gadgets and weapons and isn’t afraid to march by his own rules and break all kinds of barriers.

The character next week is an old bird that pretty much invented flying competitions and aerial warfare.  At 2 different times in its life, not at the same time because that behavior would simply not be sporty.

Mid-week special!

I am planning to do a special episode on Christmas. Not because it has anything to do with India but simply because I came across this story recently a folk tale about an old man with a white beard who gives out very generous gifts. Though the resemblance ends right there, I just couldn’t resist thinking of the gentleman at the north pole