Episode 19 – Surely you’re joking Mr. Raman

This week, we’ll talk about Tenali Raman. We have previously covered Tenali Raman in episodes 2 and 3, where I may have given the impression that he was a horrible person who treated animals poorly for purely selfish reasons. It’s time to correct that impression – so we will cover 2 more stories today that will show you that Tenali Raman was, in fact, a horrible person who treated everyone – animals and people and goddesses – poorly for purely selfish reasons.

The character this week is someone who made a god wait on a brick while he tended to other more important things, like helping his parents.

Let’s dive in.

Tenali Raman lived in a little village called Tenali. Not by coincidence. And the village wasn’t named after him. It was the other way around. It was common for people in that region of India to often borrow part of their name from their village, town or city.
Tenali Raman was a well-educated boy. He knew several languages and had read many books. Unfortunately for him, this meant he was overqualified for most jobs. And instead of starting at the bottom of a small scale firm and using his education to propagate enterprise-wide transformations he did nothing. Yeah, most days he just lay in the meadow dreaming of nothing, periodically cashing in his social security checks.
One day a rishi was passing by. Noticing this lazy behavior he told Tenali off. I mean the boy, not his village. You know, I am just going to call him Raman in this story.
The rishi strongly advised Raman to visit a nearby temple. It was a temple of the goddess Kali. And, by advice, I really mean an order.
Listening to the advice of an elder was pretty much non-negotiable in those days.
“And why am I going to visit the goddess of death again?” Asked Raman
The rishi was not used to having his orders or advice questioned.
“She’s not the goddess of death, she’s more like entropy. But yeah, she does get angry easily and destroys things. So try to please her. Say her name a million times before you reach the temple”
“But the temple is right here, I can’t do a million”
“Alright, do a hundred thousand”
“That’s still a lot” replied Raman.
The rishi replied, “Then you had better get started, hadn’t you?”
Raman grumbled but he did go to the temple. As he reached there, oddly he was the only one there. This doesn’t happen often in Indian temples today, and it didn’t happen often back then either. Raman was lucky.
In a flash and a puff of smoke, Kali appeared before him.
“Ta-da,” she said, but Raman merely yawned.
He was religious but not a sycophant. “David Copperfield does it without the smoke,” he said.
Seeing Kali’s expression change, he quickly added “but I bet he was inspired by you”

Kali decided to give him the benefit of doubt. For now.
As the smoke began to clear away, Raman saw that she had a thousand heads. He began to chuckle. Kali wanted to destroy this insolent boy right there. But being generous she gave him a chance to slide out of it gracefully if he wanted, “you’re laughing thinking of someone else aren’t you?”
Raman wasn’t having any of it “I am laughing at your appearance, your thousand heads” seeing Kali raising her weapons, he quickly added: “I was thinking when ordinary people catch a cold, they have trouble enough managing it with 2 hands and a single nose. How do you manage it when you have a cold with just two hands and a thousand noses?”
That does not sound funny to me but Kali saw the humor in that. Maybe I have been around many-headed gods and goddesses most of my life. Even my dad has 4 heads.
She said, “alright this is what I can offer you”. Poof and a little cup appeared in each hand.
“In my left hand is the cup of knowledge and in my right is the cup of wealth. You must choose one” said Kali.
Raman asked, “How can I make a good decision unless I taste each of them?”
“No one has asked such a question before. But you’re right of course. I mean when people walk into an ice cream parlor they get these tiny spoonfuls to taste before they lock in on a choice, and this is arguably much more important than ice cream.
We don’t have those adorable little spoons here, and we don’t have sprinkles. I am a goddess, I can sure magick some up, but whatever. I am just going to be completely reckless and let you taste directly from the cups”
This is what Raman was hoping for.
He quickly gulped down both cups, emptying them both before Kali could stop him.
“This time, you asked for it,” she said raising her weapon a second time.
“Wait!” Said Raman. “I had a really good reason to”
“Uh-huh,” said Kali
“Yes. Money without knowledge is dangerous. And knowledge without money is useless”
“Then, my dear boy, why didn’t you ask for half a cup of each?”
Raman hadn’t thought of that of course. He was stumped silent.
“Now the Gods and Goddesses Guidelines, Rules and Regulations chapter 4, section 3.1 strictly requires that I punish you.
But luckily for you subsection 2.13 allows me to maybe go easy on you somewhat. You will have knowledge no doubt. However you will be known as a jester, and that’s how you will make money”
Raman thought a bit and asked, “So what’s the catch then?”
Kali thought this was Raman attempting humor, she just ignored him and disappeared.
But the question had not been in jest. Raman did not share the morals of the rest of 16th century India and thought anything was an acceptable profession as long as it made money.

Raman decided to go to Vijaynagaram, to the court of Krishnadevaraya.

It was a few days’ walk, but when he got there he wasn’t allowed in. The guard outside the palace stopped him “Do you have your papers?”
“Papers?!” Asked Raman, “what are those?”
“Certified means of identification from a regulated government authority. A passport, a chariot driving license or a press pass if you’re a journalist”
“I don’t have any,” said Raman
“Then come back when you do,” said the guard.
“Wait, but I can make it worth your while!” Said Raman. “I am here to receive a big reward from your King. Let me in, and I will give you half”
“Okay,” said the guard. Bribery wasn’t a very serious crime anyway back in those days.

The same thing happened at the door to the court, which was closed because the door was in session. Raman promised him half of his reward too.

When he went inside, there was some performance art or the other going on for the King and the rest of the court, never mind what.
Raman disrupted it, by boldly strolling right in the middle and generally being loud, and well, himself.
The King who had been having a good time was angry with Raman.
“Guards” he roared. “Give this man a 100 lashes with a whip”.
“Wait!” Said Raman. “I cannot accept this generous reward for myself, because I promised to give half to the palace guard and the rest to the guard at the door,” said Raman
Curious now, the King had him explain everything. The guards were punished. And the King who could see that Raman had been disruptive only for the sake of bringing corruption to attention, appointed Raman as his court jester. He couldn’t have been more wrong about Raman’s motives, but we’ve seen some of that in earlier episodes, and we’ll see this theme continue in other stories as well, as we cover them in future episodes.

That’s it for today.

Notes

The namesake place where Raman was from is about 10 days walk from Hampi, the capital of the Kingdom of Vijayanagaram.
The Goddess Kali is another avatar of Shakti, whom we have previously encountered as Parvati in Episode 6.5 “All in the Family” and as the character of the week “Brahmari” in Episode 14 – Of Mice and Man
She also makes a cameo in the Mahabharat. But more on that when we get to the Mahabharat.
She’s often shown with her tongue sticking out, wearing a skirt made of human hands, and wearing a necklace of human heads. If that’s not gruesome enough, she also often carries a human head. The number of human heads symbolizes the letters in the Sanskrit alphabet.
She’s often shown standing with her foot on Shiva, the destroyer in the Holy Trinity. One interpretation of this is that since Kali as Shakti represents power and energy, and Shiva is the god of destruction, he depends on power and energy in order to act. Without her help, he’s unable to act.
In some eastern states though, Kali stepped on Shiva by accident – and when she realized it, she stuck out her tongue in embarrassment.

A couple of pictures of Kali if you’re interested to see what she looks like
Artwork by Raja Ravi Varma
Kali statue up close

The Character of the Week

The character this week is Pundalik. Pundalik was a young lad in the western state of Maharashtra who started off as a local goon, or goonda. He cared nothing about everyone else and used to find ways to harass people. His life changed completely when he met a Rishi or wise man who taught him a few things. Pundalik decided to be a better person. The Rishi advised him that the best way to do this was to serve his parents. And so, Pundalik did.
Even the god Vithoba, who was a form of Vishnu or Krishna, heard about Pundalik’s devotion and decided to see for himself. He knocked on the door but Pundalik wouldn’t answer, because he was busy taking care of his parents just then. He merely threw a brick outside and asked whoever it was that was knocking to wait patiently on the brick. And Vithoba did that!
Later when Pundalik stepped out and saw who it was, he was surprised. Far from being angry at having been made to wait, Vithoba was impressed by Pundalik’s devotion to his parents.
The town that Pundalik founded is called Pandharpur, and there’s a famous temple dedicated to Vithoba, the God who stands, waiting on a brick.

Here’s a picture of the Pandharpur temple
And some artwork related to Pundalik
A picture of a Vithoba statue
And this is the Pundalik temple

Next Week

Next week we’ll learn why we celebrate the festival of Holi, which is just around the corner.
Does it have anything to do with colors? Let’s find out next week.

The character next week is a legend. He was a real historical figure who was also a tiger, who amongst other things, helped grow the silk industry!

Curious? Tune in next week!