In this episode, by popular demand we’re going to continue the story of Chandrakanta. Chandrakanta is a fantasy novel written by Devaki Nandan Khatri, though as I argued in the last episode it’s closer to historical science fiction. If you missed the previous episode, don’t worry. You didn’t miss a lot. We mostly just introduced the characters, all of whom had the same last name – Singh. Not that that makes a difference. Here’s a quick recap.
At the heart of the story are Prince Virendra and Princess Chandrakanta from neighboring kingdoms. The Kingdoms were not quite at conflict. In fact the two were betrothed to be married when they were kids.
And everything would have been fine had it not been for Chandrakanta’s father changing his mind all of a sudden. He was influenced in this by his evil minister’s son. Kroor Singh. Kroor Singh had an ulterior motive of his own. He wanted Chandrakanta for himself.
Each of the main characters so far had some very special sidekicks. They were Aiyaars. Now Aiyaars are not magical until the television series. They are really good at two things. One of those was that they were experts at disguise. And the second was Chemistry. Mostly practical. They had at their disposal every possible kind of chemical that they could quickly use to do whatever they wanted. Did an aiyaar want to make someone sleep? There was a potion for that. Did an Aiyaar want to make a bald person suddenly hairy? There was powder for that. Well, you get the idea.
In the last episode, we had two people Virendra Singh and Kroor Singh pining away for Chandrakanta. They each sent their Aiyyaars to Chandrakanta’s garden where she must be strolling with her two Aiyyaar friends – Champa and Chapla.
The key difference was that Virendra had sent his Aiyaar with good intentions. Tej Singh was sent only to see if the coast was clear for Virendra to show up, himself. But, the evil Kroor Singh had sent his aiyyaar – Nazim to spy on Chandrakanta in the garden. To get some incriminating evidence of her involvement with Virender Singh. So far, Kroor Singh had been talking non-stop to Chandrakanta’s father Jai Singh about how her daughter was hanging out with the good for nothing Prince Virendra Singh. But he had no evidence to back his claim up
Nazim seemed on track to collecting exactly that evidence. He knocked out and impersonated Chandrakanta’s Aiyyaar-in-training Champa, and now was in conversation with the Princess herself and her other Aiyyaar Chapla.
That’s where we’ll pickup the story.
Champa, really Nazim in disguise, had tricked Chandrakanta into a monologue about how much she missed Virendra. While Chandrakanta went on and on, Nazim looked in triumphantly through Champa’s eyes as her words were being recorded in his secret pocket recorder.
Chapla suddenly interrupted while Chandrakanta was just describing how beautiful Virendra’s eyes were. She had been observing Champa with growing suspicion. Chapla said that it was starting to get chilly, could Champa please fetch the Princess her shawl? It was on a bench over there.
“No, let her fetch it herself…” was Champa’s instant reaction. She immediately corrected and added that she was of course kidding. Of course she would bring it.
The moment she was gone, Chapla spoke quick. “Princess, she’ll be back in no time. I don’t think it’s Champa. It’s an impostor. Probably one of Kroor Singh’s aiyyaars”
Chandrakanta was shocked. She couldn’t imagine Kroor Singh playing such a dirty trick on them. At least he hadn’t seemed competent enough to manage that.
Chapla pointed out that sometimes villains are extremely good at hiding their villainy. Consider the burglars from Home Alone. They were extremely smart, seeing as they escaped police custody multiple times, but they also managed to appear extremely silly and terrible at their job, just so that they could give us a good movie.
“I don’t think that was the point” Chandrakanta began, but Chapla interrupted “Princess, this impostor will be back any minute. Do not say anything further about Virendra. Instead let’s ask her some questions that only the real Champa would know”
It was fortunate that she said that because just then Champa arrived. There was no shawl. “Oh silly me” said Chapla and shrugged, “I must have been mistaken”
Chandrakanta asked Champa – “Chapla and I were considering, how about we do the settlers of Catan?”
Nazim as Champa had no idea what Settlers of Catan was. Was this a palace ritual? Or was this something secret only women did? “Um, sure,” he said.
“I’m shocked Champa. Last night you were so upset you threw the whole board after I grabbed all the sheep and refused to trade you any”
Nazim was even more confused. Sheep? Trade? What were they talking about? “What can I say? I felt better this morning and decided I would give it another try”.
Chapla spoke up. “Well that’s the spirit, Champa. But you know, my ear has been bothering me for a while. Can you take a look?”
Champa did, thinking she had handled the Catan question rather well. But that’s all she thought, because the moment she got close to Chapla’s ear to examine it, she passed out. Or rather, Nazim passed out. Chapla the aiyyaar had cleverly stuffed her ear with some sleeping powder. One whiff and Nazim passed out.
Quickly Chapla tied up the fake Champa. She used her makeup remover just to confirm her suspicions. But there really was no need. Chandrakanta had of course realized it when Champa hadn’t caught her lie. The outburst from Champa had happened a week ago, not last night. And they hadn’t talked about Catan since.
But then the Princess’s thoughts changed to anger. How dare Kroor Singh send someone to invade her privacy? She would have his head for this.
Spoken like a true princess, agreed Chapla. But I want to find out what he’s done with the real Champa. Here, let’s wake him up.
So they did. Nazim was scared. Not just what the King would do to him, but worse what would Kroor Singh do? Pay cut, for sure. If he fired him, getting a job was going to be difficult. Despite the glamor, aiyyaari was a dying profession. I’m sure people a couple of centuries from now won’t even believe it existed.
Back to reality. Nazim quickly admitted to everything. That the real Champa was hidden behind the rose bushes. She was fine. But maybe a little cold, Nazim had after all borrowed her clothes.
Chapla and Chandrakanta rushed to the roses. But first Chapla put Nazim in a little cellar in the garden. It served as a little storage closet for miscellaneous garden equipment. Chapla was also careful to search him for bugs. And when she found the recording device in his blouse, I mean Champa’s blouse, she promptly destroyed it.
They found Champa just where Nazim had said. Chapla had just the potion to revive her. She woke up groggy. “Those roses are something,” she said. “Princess, you have to talk to the gardener about the variety he is growing here. I could swear one of them makes chloroform, instead of perfume”
So they had to fill her in. And Chapla had to remind Champa as her aiyyaar student that she needed to go back and read chapter 7 of the Aiyyaari handbook. She would expect an essay on avoiding smelling things that you haven’t put together yourself.
If she had been coaching Nazim, she would likely have recommended the same chapter. But lucky for them Nazim hadn’t been suspicious of smelling Chapla’s ear. Which reminded her, she should probably refill her ears. She may be running low. It had taken slightly longer than expected for Nazim to collapse.
As the three of them sat there, the implications began to dawn on Chandrakanta. “This is fabulous!” she said. “Tomorrow morning, all we have to do is to produce Nazim as evidence to the King. Kroor Singh wanted evidence, well how the tables have turned. It’s Kroor Singh who will be out on his ear. Then maybe Dad will also stop believing all the lies Kroor had been feeding him about Virendra.”
But before they could celebrate, a new person entered the scene. It was the maid Ketaki. Chapla, Champa and Chandrakanta were all immediately suspicious. And they had every right to be. It wasn’t the real Ketaki. It was another aiyyaar.
We’ll come back to the scene in a short while, but let’s see how Tej Singh was getting along on his quest to get Virendra’s message to Chandrakanta.
Tej had quickly covered the distance between the Kingdoms and made it all the way to the palace. Thankfully, he had a copy of the Princess’s schedule which she had shared with Virendra in one of their letters. He knew that the Princess was going to be in her garden at this time of night. He also knew that the garden was heavily guarded. Specifically to keep him out.
But Tej knew that there was a limit to how clever these guards were. Otherwise they would be officers sitting at a desk pushing paper. He sneaked into a dark corner and emerged in the perfect disguise. That of a new guard.
He walked right up to the main garden gate where a few of the guards sat around gossiping and eating Samosas. This was almost too easy. With the guards clustered around here, Tej could easily have found an unguarded section of the garden wall to climb over. But no, he needed to send a message. People had to realize that they needed to take him seriously.
After he sauntered over, he politely greeted all these soldiers. They all outranked him, which suited his purpose just fine. He introduced himself as a new recruit. He had a few small shifts in the palace. And this was his first job in the real world, he said. Could they please show him the ropes? They would, and he could also help himself to a Samosa.
A particularly old guard had something to say. He had wisdom in his eyes and in the way he stroked his beard. “All you should look for is food. Every guard duty is 3 snack breaks long, and your duty is not to your kingdom. Your duty should be to stretch those snack breaks as long as possible. Take a look at us for instance. This is our second snack break and we’ve been on it for an hour. Always look for duties that get you the best food.”
“I thought the palace food was pretty good,” Tej replied.
“The samosas are good, but not as great as these. I do admit that the chutney they serve in the palace is the best” replied the voice of experience.
Tej said that by a happy coincidence he had some packets of chutney that he had grabbed from the palace cafeteria at the end of his last day today. Would they by any chance like to use this chutney to eat their remaining samosas?
There were 7 guards at the gate, and 7 pairs of eyes lit up at Tej’s suggestion. Obviously, none of the guards were aiyyaars. So they hadn’t read chapter 8 of the handbook Chapla had talked about earlier. It would have cautioned them against eating food not prepared by their own hands.
With Tej’s special sleeping potion mixed in the chutney, it was hardly a couple of minutes before all 7 guards were asleep. Tej strolled right into the garden. But first he was careful to change his appearance. Guards weren’t allowed in the garden. This was the Princess’s private garden. But maids were. And the gardener of course. Tej considered going as the gardener, but he had no idea what that guy looked like. So he chose instead to go as a maid. Luckily for him, just then Ketaki appeared on the scene. She seemed to be heading home, which was great. Tej quickly grabbed her and sprayed some perfume on her face. Only it wasn’t perfume. It was a sleeping potion. Ketaki was out like a light. Unlike Nazim, Tej was careful to try to make Ketaki as comfortable as possible. Minutes later he was approaching the Princess and her two aiyyaar companions.
Chapla looked at Ketaki suspiciously and asked her if she had completed the task the Princess had assigned her.
“Yes of course,” said Ketaki. “But then I saw something that I figured must be reported to the Princess herself”
“What is it?” asked Chandrakanta.
“Give me a reward first,” said Ketaki.
“Why, you impudent little…” began Chapla, but I’d rather not complete her sentence.
Ketaki merely laughed and when Chapla angered by Ketaki’s reaction grabbed her. And realized she wasn’t really Ketaki.
Still laughing, Ketaki handed over Virendra’s letter to Chandrakanta. Immediately the atmosphere changed. This was the second time this night the Princess and her friends had found an aiyyaar here under false pretenses, but their reaction this time could not have been more different than when they caught Nazim. Chandrakanta was overjoyed and emotional. She asked about how Virendra was, and Tej told them about how Virendra was pining away for her, which made Chandrakanta even more emotional.
They talked about when the Princess could finally meet Virendra. Chandrakanta said 2-3 days tops. And she actually looked triumphant as she said that. So Tej asked her about it.
Chandrakanta described how they had captured Nazim snooping on them in the garden and how Chapla had cleverly overcome him.
Tej listened to all this and said. “Yes, very clever Chapla. Very clever indeed. Except there are two things that you could have done better. First, you shouldn’t have put him in the cellar. A closet for storing garden tools is not an ideal place for imprisoning someone. Surely, Nazim is going to find some shears to snip off his ropes. He’ll be free in no time.”
“Doesn’t matter,” Chapla replied. “The shed is bolted from the outside. It’s a heavy godrej lock. He can’t break it from inside the shed.”
“Which leads me to the second point,” said Tej. “Did you think Nazim came by himself. You don’t think Ahmad would have come along too? Ahmad is Kroor Singh’s other Aiyyaar”
Of course they all knew who Ahmad was. Seeing as he had harassed them at some point or the other. But now was not the time to point it out. Now was the time for all of them to rush to the cellar. Sure enough, the cellar door was open and Nazim was gone. The cuts on the ropes seemed to have been made with a knife and not the garden shears. But that was probably because Nazim had not found the shears in the dark cellar. Or maybe he hadn’t needed to. Ahmad had probably been following the action closely and had jumped on the scene the moment their backs were turned.
They really should have summoned the King immediately instead of waiting till the next morning. Now they were paying the price for it. They had no evidence now.
What happens next is a showdown between Tej, and Ahmad and Nazim. But we’ll cover that in a future episode.
That’s all for now
Some notes on the show
As is usual on the show, I’ve introduced anachronisms including recording devices that weren’t there at the time of course.
In the original story, the guards at the garden weren’t actually raving about the food. But I changed that reference to keep it clean.
The previous Chandrakanta episode was Episode 130.
The novel itself is in the public domain now. I have linked to Devaki Nandan Khatri’s original text in Hindi. Here’s the link.
That’s all for now.
Next Time
In the next episode, we’ll switch back to folktales. This next one will be a Kashmiri folktale about a clever lady teaching her husband some basic life lessons. But she has to go to some extreme lengths to do it.