Tenali Raman – Raman vs Animals – {Ep.247}

Two Tenali Raman stories featuring a holy man reincarnated as a parrot(or not!). And a camel that had rage-quit its caravan and which could only be tracked down by Raman’s sharp tracking skills

Welcome to “Stories From India”. This is a podcast that will take you on a journey through the rich mythology, folklore and history of the Indian subcontinent. I am Narada Muni, the celestial storyteller and the original “time lord”. With my ability to travel through space and time, I can bring you fascinating stories from the past, the present, and the future. From the epic tales of the Mahabharata and Ramayana to the folktales of the Panchatantra to stories of Akbar-Birbal and Tenali Raman, I have a story for every occasion.

The purpose of the stories is neither to pass judgment nor to indoctrinate. My goal is only to share these stories with people who may not have heard them before and to make them more entertaining for those who have.

Today’s Story

In this episode, we’re back to Tenali Raman. We’ll hear two stories, both about Raman and something to do with his treatment of animals.

Happy birthday to HYSR who requested this story. And also thanks to Shalu for the story recommendation. 

In case this is the first time you’re hearing a Tenali Raman story, that is totally fine. Because all of his stories stand alone. I’ll supply you with the only context you need.

Krishnadevaraya and Tenali Raman are both real historical people. Krishnadevarya ruled the Vijayanagara empire which covered most of Southern India back in the 16th-century. Tenali Raman was his court jester. But don’t take him for a fool, Raman was also quite the scholar, and a polyglot – able to speak 8 different languages.

Raman used his wisdom and his knowledge often to humiliate those around him, while also making money off of them! And the Emperor was frequently the victim.

Krishnadevarayar mostly took all this in good humor. Except for those times that he tried to have his jester punished, banished, executed, and tortured. Not necessarily in that order. Anyway, Raman managed to weasel out of all such situations.

Let’s jump right into the first story. It begins in the palace, where Krishnadevarayar was impatiently waiting for Raman to arrive! And when the guards finally announced Raman’s arrival, it was all that Krishnadevaraya could do to avoid jumping up and down and clapping his hands with glee. The emperor of most of South India wasn’t a child. But he was allowed to have moments like this. After all, who would dare to criticize the Emperor’s behavior? 

“Raman! Come quick, look at what I got!”

“Is it a new paperweight, your majesty?” Raman asked with apparent politeness

“Oh Raman, surely you jest,” laughed the Emperor.

He must be in a really good mood, thought Raman, seeing as the Emperor hadn’t ordered his execution yet.

“Yes, your majesty. I must jest, it’s in my official title” It was a subtle dig, maybe that might remind the Emperor to make him minister or something.

Well, the Emperor wasn’t listening. He was ready to show off his latest acquisition.

And there it was, a parrot.

“It’s a beautiful parrot, your highness, but why is it sitting on a fish?”

“Ah, the manual said it needed to be put on a perch. I looked it up in the dictionary and found that the perch is a freshwater fish, there are two varieties – the yellow one from North America and the other, European version. So I had this specially imported just for Polly to sit on”

Tenali Raman could have said a thing or two about how not all words necessarily had a single meaning. But it was too late now. Besides, he was curious about something else. What was so special about this parrot? Parrots were commonplace. He’d seen half a dozen of them on his way to the palace here this morning.

As if on cue, Krishnadevarayar said “You’re probably wondering. What’s so special about this parrot? Parrots are commonplace. In fact, I saw half a dozen this morning. But wait, look at what this parrot does”

The Emperor gave a special gesture with his hands, and immediately the Parrot started chanting a mantra – the Gayatri Mantra!

Krishnadevarayar was excited and clapped his hands “Isn’t this divine? And that’s not all he can do the Hanuman Chalisa too! This parrot must be some kind of a holy person reincarnated. Think about it, Tenali – this is someone who has figured out everything – they can unlock life’s mysteries for me!”

The jester was immediately skeptical. The bird was obviously just a well-trained one. But Tenali couldn’t simply denounce it’s assumed status as a holy. You can’t contradict your Emperor. Not directly. He’d have to find another way to disillusion the Emperor.

“How did you come by this marvelous bird, your highness?”

“He just flew in through the window, along with the regular carrier pigeon that brings me in my messages. When the parrot started speaking, I thought for a second that I received voicemail.” 

Tenali Raman excused himself, saying he was going to get the bird a cracker or two.

“Capital idea!” reacted Krishnadevarayar, “fetch several! We don’t want this holy parrot to have any shortage. Load the crackers and bring them on horses if you have to. While you’re about it, tell the head priest he’s only a deputy now – this parrot is our new head priest.”

Raman knew he had to act. Right away. Things were getting out of hand real quick unless he intervened. He needed to find a way to knock the parrot off its perch, figuratively, not literally.

To be clear, Raman wasn’t fond of the head priest at all – in fact there are some other stories of their rivalry. But the idea of an Emperor submitting to a literal birdbrain was quite appalling.

And then when he saw the cat, the solution came to him. This wasn’t a cat that Tenali had previously tortured in an earlier episode. This was a palace cat and Raman knew that it liked to do nothing other than drink its milk, eat its fish, and sleep 23 hours a day. Hang on, I realized that doesn’t really distinguish it from any other cat in the world. But it doesn’t matter. Raman quickly scooped up the cat and returned to the Emperor.

The cat still in its slumber hardly seemed to notice that anything had happened. It yawned and dozed off again.

The parrot had finished with the Hanuman Chalisa and had started on yet another mantra.

The Emperor wasn’t done yet. “Look at its dignified face, Raman. I bet it has a mantra for every occasion. Have you ever heard of anyone so wise?”

Tenali Raman didn’t answer. Instead he brought the cat forward in sudden proximity to the parrot.

The parrot was not prepared to have feline society so thrust upon it. It let out a shriek and screamed and flew off the perch and onto the Emperor’s shoulder. And it wouldn’t calm down, no matter how much the Emperor tried. This was despite the fact that the cat’s attention was fully on the imported fish which had until recently been the parrot’s base of operations. The cat did not care about the parrot, but that did nothing to calm its nerves. I mean the parrot’s nerves, not the cat’s. The cat was already calm, and possibly also drifting off to sleep in the middle of its unexpected meal.

After many futile attempts to get the parrot to repeat its mantras, the Emperor finally realized what Raman had done. A simple demonstration to prove that the mantras were the facade and the parrot was just a parrot. Part of him was glad then that he’d come to his senses before giving the parrot more responsibilities. A weight was off his shoulders, literally and figuratively because now the parrot had flown away as well. But on the other hand the Emperor mourned the loss of a cool party trick.

The trauma that he subjected the parrot to was quite on-brand for Tenali Raman. Though I have to say that in this story the cat actually got a good deal out of it. An imported yellow perch for the cat to feed on – it was a good deal. Maybe just a small disturbance in its sleep. But on the whole much better than any of the other animals had previously experienced at Raman’s hands.

Let’s move on to the second story.

In this one, Tenali Raman was walking on the road, minding his own business. Well maybe not fully minding his own business as we shall soon see. But that’s when he was approached by a distraught man. Taking one look at him, Raman replied “The Answer is No. But that’s the wrong question to ask anyway”

The distraught man didn’t understand what Raman meant, so Raman explained “You were about to ask me if I have seen your camel. You seem to have lost one from your caravan.”

The man’s jaw dropped to the floor. He stammered out a question about how Raman had known this.

“You have a whip in our right hand. It’s not the kind of whip one uses on horses. I know. Because I whip my horses all the time and that whip wouldn’t work. I’m more partial to riding horses myself. Riding horses is great – camel riding has its ups and downs. But coming back to you – you don’t just have the whip, you have a couple of extra blinders. No one carries two extra blinders for one camel. So you are leading more than one camel. A caravan therefore.”

The caravan driver was impressed. “Yup, everyone has preferences. Camel riding is easier in my experience, once you get over the first hump. But if you like horses, you do you. Back to my camel though – have you seen her?”

“I already told you. The answer is no, but that’s the wrong question to ask anyway”

The caravan driver was about to move on and ask someone else. But Raman added “Don’t you want to know the right question to ask?”

“Okay, I’ll bite,” the caravan driver said. “What is the right question to ask?”

“Where is she now? And maybe I can answer that. But first, tell me why she wandered away?”

The caravan driver shrugged “I don’t know – a camel that sticks to the caravan knows not the beauty of undiscovered oases. So maybe this one got bitten by a travel bug”

Raman replied “It’s unlikely that she was looking for beautiful undiscovered oases. She’s blind in one eye and hurt in one leg, isn’t she?”

Again, the caravan driver was left to pick his jaw up off the floor. “How could you possibly know that?”

“We’ll come to that in a moment. But think carefully my man, why did she wander away?”

The caravan driver sighed and admitted “I think she rage-quit me. She was already upset when we got taken over by new management. Before that she was working an entire week without drinking. And since then she has been drinking the whole week without working.
And then our new management insisted on renaming all the camels after famous ships – past, present, and future. You know, because Camels are ships of the desert. And we named her…. the Titanic. Not my fault, I tried to resist, but the board of directors thought that was the way it should be. They were expecting her to get lost on her very first trip. I think that lack of confidence deeply upset her. That was the last straw that broke her back.”

“Thank you for being truthful,” Raman said. “You didn’t add that you probably care more for the wheat and sugar loaded on her back, than for the camel herself”

“It would come out of my paycheck,” the caravan driver admitted. And this time his jaw didn’t drop a third time. I guess successive revelations have a diminishing effect. By now the caravan driver had guessed that Raman had seen CCTV footage of the camel, even though CCTV did not exist.

“Well, given you people are terrible at treating animals, some folks may have resisted pointing you in the right direction. But I can tell you where your camel is”

“Mister, how could you possibly know so much about her, if you haven’t seen her?”

So Raman finally explained, “Here, look at the hoofprints. They are uneven on the right side, as if she was dragging her right rear leg.”

The caravan driver nodded “That explains how you knew she was hurt. What about her being blind in one eye, and the wheat and sugar on her back?”

“Look at the leaves on these plants. She’s only been eating those on the left side of the road, and completely ignored even the healthier looking leaves on the right side. Only reasonable explanation is that she has vision in just her left eye. 

And as for the wheat and sugar, here look at the faint trail she has left, there are some grains that seem to be leaking out of the bags. And from the way the ants have taken to to the grains on one side, I can tell that’s sugar and the other is wheat”

All this made perfect sense once Raman had explained it. The caravan driver was about to go in the direction the tracks led. Because it was hurt in one leg, it would be easy for the caravan driver to catch up.

Raman called out “and one last thing. Have you considered a different name for her? I’ll suggest one: Dramadary”

“That doesn’t work, at least temporarily. A dromedary is supposed to be one humped but this one is two-humped”

“Oh she’s Bactrian?” Raman asked, curious that his careful detection had failed to detect that

“No, she’s pregnant”

That’s all for now

Some notes on the show

I do recommend checking out earlier Tenali Raman episodes, which are linked in the show notes and on the site sfipodcast.com:

https://sfipodcast.com/category/tenali-raman/

We have seen Raman being cruel to animals before in Episodes 2 and 3.

That’s all for now.

Next Time

In the next episode, we’ll go back to the Mahabharata.

Feedback

Thank you all for the comments on Social Media and on Spotify’s Q&A! I can’t directly reply to the questions there, but I’ll address them here on this show.

Kaira – agree. Holika is far from the ideal aunt.

Thank you Jenn, Venu, Moshroom for the support.

Happy birthday to Abeer, Aarush and Hariprasad.

Aarush – I’m still not yet ready to do the Indus Valley Civilization story but I’m working on it.

Aarush Vijai –  Thank you for your comments. Akbar Birbal is coming up soon.

VK – yes, as it happens I do have a Shiva story lined up in the coming weeks.

Kaira – there is more than one variation of the holy trinity creation story. So I’ll probably have to address your question in a dedicated episode.

Deepinjoy – thank you for the feedback. Singhasan Battisi is lined up, but we have a number of other categories to be covered before then. But the order is subject to change anyway, so let’s see if there’s more interest in moving the Singhasan Battisi story up the list.

Lastly Hariprasad – you’re correct that Madhvacharya’s passing away is non-standard. One day he simply transformed into a bunch of flowers. While many believe that is the day he passed away, others believe that he teleported to the Himalayas where he’s still around. In all my time traveling through the Himalayas I haven’t run into him there, but that doesn’t mean anything, we might have just missed each other, and besides I haven’t been to every nook and cranny there. So who knows?

If you have any other comments or suggestions or if there are particular stories you’d like to hear, please do let me know by leaving a comment or a review on the site sfipodcast.com, or reply to the questions on Spotify Q&A. You can also find me on Instagram and Facebook. You can listen to the show on all podcast apps, and now also on Youtube! If you want to send me an email it’s stories.from.india.podcast@gmail.com.

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A big thank you to each of you for your continued support and your feedback.

The music is from Purple Planet.

Thanks for listening and I’ll see you next time!