Mahabharata – The Golden Mongoose – {Ep.207} – Stories From India – Podcast

Today’s story is from the Mahabharata about a Golden Mongoose that can talk, and that wanders around, reviewing royal ceremonies!

Welcome to “Stories From India”. This is a podcast that will take you on a journey through the rich mythology, folklore and history of the Indian subcontinent. I am Narada Muni, the celestial storyteller and the original “time lord”. With my ability to travel through space and time, I can bring you fascinating stories from the past, the present, and the future. From the epic tales of the Mahabharata and Ramayana to the folktales of the Panchatantra to stories of Akbar-Birbal and Tenali Raman, I have a story for every occasion.

The purpose of the stories is neither to pass judgment nor to indoctrinate. My goal is only to share these stories with people who may not have heard them before and to make them more entertaining for those who have.

Today’s Story

In this episode, we’re listening to a story from the Mahabharata about a Half-Golden Mongoose. Now though this story is from the Greatest Epic from all of Mythology, it is not from the main storyline. And that means you needn’t have heard any of the previous Mahabharata episodes. Today’s story stands alone.

Now normally I’d give you a boring introduction about where the scene was set and who was doing what. But let’s just jump straight in and hear everything we need from the characters themselves!

Red Turban had just arrived at the stadium in Hastinapur and was now sitting with his friends, Blue Kurta and Green shoes. Naturally, I’ve named the characters based on what they were wearing.

Red Turban was apologizing for his delay. “Sorry, I only just arrived in town. And I came here straight from the bullock cart station. What did I miss? Who’s batting first?”

Blue Kurta shook his head. “You’ve missed a lot! You’ve been gone for 3 whole months! Even just the last 3 weeks have been game-changing!”

Red Turban was surprised. “Don’t tell me they’ve gone and changed the rules again! If they have, it’s just not cricket anymore!”

Green shoes addressed his friend. “And that’s where you’re wrong my friend! This isn’t even a sports match you are about to witness. It’s a Rajasuya Yagna”

Now I could say that Red Turban totally understood what that meant and gasped in shock. But I can see that some exposition is in order. So let’s pretend he said “Rajasuya Yagna, what is that?”

And that Green shoes explained that it was a ceremony to crown their Emperor the King of all Kings, the King of the Universe in fact. It was customary for anyone to do that once they had eliminated all opposition to the throne.

“Ah, I knew it,” Red Turban exclaimed. “The Kaurava princes had what it takes. 5 against 100 didn’t look very good for the Pandavas”

People in the neighboring seats stared at Red Turban with shock.

A passing moral policeman even cocked an eye at this group.

Green Shoes hastily silenced his friend. “Sshh, someone might hear us. Newsflash for you Red Turban – it’s the Pandavas who won”

Red Turban was shocked at this revelation. He turned a bright red, but recovered swiftly under the probing eyes of the moral policeman. “Oh, ah – did I say Kauravas? I meant Pandavas. I’m a foreigner. We get confused sometimes. Long Live the Pandavas!”

That seemed to satisfy the crowd.

Red Turban was bursting with questions. But Narada Muni’s podcast only covered the Laakshagraha. How did we get here?

Those are questions we’ll not answer, seeing as we still have some ways to go in the main Mahabharata storyline. Red Turban and yourselves will just have to be a little bit more patient. Besides the show was starting.

It was Bhima who stepped onto the stage.

“Deviyon, aur Sajjano!” He said, calling on all the Ladies and gentlemen. “Welcome to the grand spectacular Rajasuya Yagna! I’m your host, the ever-charming Emcee Extraordinaire, here to guide you through this unique dose of tradition. Are you ready… for the time of your lives?!”

Now please put your hands together for the man of the hour, and my older brother – Emperor Yudhishtir! The crowd broke out into thunderous applause. Bheem proceeded to introduce a slew of Rishis who’d be performing the ceremony. They all walked in one by one when their names were announced – accompanied by flashing lights, fake fog effects, and their own theme music. The last was curated by the DJ of the evening – Arjun who was another Pandava brother. Figures, because Arjun had had training in that – and in heaven no less. There was also an Elephant Parade, courtesy of the latest circus in town – “PT Ringsingh Sons and Brothers.” 

Bheem continued – “Yes, you heard it right! We’ve replaced horses and cows with majestic elephants because nothing screams “spiritual purification” like a herd of elephants decorated with feathered headdresses. Who needs simplicity when we can have extravagant extravaganzas?

The ceremony continued pretty well. They even had a seventh shloka stretch, so the audience could stand up and stretch their legs and arms.

And now, before the grand finale – a word from our sponsors. 

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If the ceremony was great, the finale was even better. They had fireworks too, and it all ended with a bright flash and a majestic looking Yudhishtir on a majestic looking throne.

The audience was appropriately wowed. The royal guests were departing now, after collecting their goody bags full of some handmade jewelry, some locally made achaar, or pickle., and a souvenir painting with the Pandavas artificially added into the background.

“That was awesome!” Green shoes said as the friends made it down into the arena. They were hoping to get Krishna’s autograph. 

Blue Kurta was staring at his own hand. Arjun shook my hand! I’m not going to wash it for the rest of my life!

Red Turban readily agreed. This was the greatest sacrifice he had ever seen! What a ritual, what an event! He couldn’t wait for the next one.

“Greatest sacrifice you say?” someone asked.

“Eek it’s a rat!” Red Turban screamed.

But it wasn’t. It was a mongoose. And the fact that it could talk wasn’t the only extraordinary thing about it. Exactly half of its body was Golden. The other half was normal mongoose colored – which is to say brownish or grayish color. And by half I mean vertically down the length of its body. Not along its waist or something.

The mongoose rolled around in the rice and wheat that was on the ground, scattered from the ceremony. Then she looked down at her body and said “Just as I suspected. This was a pretty ordinary ceremony”.

Red Turban took offense at that! “Ordinary?! You call that ordinary! That was the perfect blend of capitalism and tradition. A little dose of glitz and glamor never hurt anyone! It’s the mixture of spirituality and commercialism that brings a lump to every eye and a light in every throat!”

Blue Kurta asked his friend if he was alright. He had some cough drops just in case, and a vicks inhaler. To which Red Turban quickly clarified that he meant a lump in every throat and a light in every eye. Which didn’t seem to convince Blue Kurta very much.

The mongoose clarified that she didn’t mean to offend anyone. But wait, just hear her story out.

And so she launched into the story of the poor scholar, his wife, his son and his daughter in law.

The 4 of them lived in a little hut. Given this is ancient India we’re talking about – it should not be a surprise that the men – the scholar and his son – divided up the labor by walking around all day spreading their wisdom and earning a coin here and there. While the women, the scholar’s wife and daughter in law were toiling away in the kitchen and at home.

Their village was hit by a famine. There was no food to be had anywhere. Gradually they had to cut down from 3 square meals a day to two, and then one. And later, it was a lucky day if they got to eat anything. Most of the other villagers had moved out and when you’re in the profession of sprinkling wisdom on your fellow villagers – you’re rather dependent on having villagers around who are willing to pay you in exchange for being sprinkled with your wisdom. 

But I guess the scholar and his son could not take a hint. They stayed in the village which soon became a ghost town. I mean ghost village. It doesn’t make sense for a village to turn into a town as it’s losing people, does it?

Anyway, after almost a week of going all hungry, the scholar managed to get a handful of wheat from a traveler who had missed all the warning signs of an abandoned village and wandered in by accident. A handful of wheat wasn’t much, but to the hungry scholar and his family it looked like a feast! They did all they could not to eat the wheat raw. The scholar’s wife made one roti with it. And just as she cut the roti into four pieces, and served it to everyone, the doorbell rang.

The scholar was surprised by the interruption and really really hoped it wasn’t the traveler back here looking to get his wheat back. But he needn’t have worried. It was just another traveler. But there was something about this stranger, a young and handsome man. He didn’t say anything. He just stumbled in and said that he was very hungry. Did they have any food?

Now I know how most of us might react, but the scholar wasn’t just preaching a bunch of rules, he was actively living by them. His sermon just yesterday was “Atithi devo bhava”. Which meant any guest was to be treated like a God or Goddess!

So the scholar welcomed the traveler in and offered his own quarter roti. The traveler wolfed it down and asked if there were seconds. It was the son who gave up his share next. But then the traveler asked for thirds, and fourths, which he also got from the scholar’s wife and daughter in law.

After the traveler had finished the roti and looked at their sad eyes, he laughed. And then explained that he was Indra. He was a God! And he was just testing them. If they were ready he was here to take them to heaven.

And no, that wasn’t Yama’s job. Yama was the god of death. And this family wasn’t dying or anything. They were just being promoted. It wasn’t like the little matchstick girl type of story. That’s just too dark.

The mongoose said that she had watched all this from the window. When they all departed she wandered into the scholar’s hut. She’d been looking for something to scratch an itch she had on his back. Seeing a little bit of the wheat that had spilled on the floor, she thought she’d roll in it. It couldn’t make things worse, could it? So she did. And, it didn’t make things worse. It made half her body Golden. There was no more wheat left. Since then, the Mongoose had been wandering the Earth – looking for places where great sacrifices had been performed. She had also experimented with many different grains. But the result was always the same. Her body did not turn fully golden. Which completely meant that the sacrifice wasn’t as great as that of the poor family.

That’s all she had to say – and she was off now. And no she hadn’t the time to explain how she could talk in a human language. Just roll with it, won’t you? She said as she disappeared from view.

So there you have it. All that money spent, and all the rich and famous people involved in the event, and all the Hastinapura event planners got for it was a 1-star review. And that too from a mongoose.

That’s all for now

Some notes on the show

Links to other Mahabharata episodes

That’s all for now. 

Next Time

In the next episode, we’re doing a folk tale from Assam. It’s about a girl and her evil stepmother. With lots of magical transformations thrown in, including a completely redefined life cycle of plants!

Feedback

Thank you all for the comments on Social Media and on Spotify’s Q&A! I can’t directly reply to the questions there, but I’ll address them here on this show.

Thank you Vamsi and Samay – it’s feedback like this that encourages me to continue doing the podcast. Yes I’ll be getting to the Ramayana very soon.

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A big thank you to each of you for your continued support and your feedback.

The music is from Purple Planet.

Thanks for listening and I’ll see you next time!