Before we begin today’s story I have a question for you. I’m considering changing the format of the show in the new year to a single longer episode every week with occasional bonus episodes, rather than two shorter ones with no bonuses. Let me know what you think of that by messaging me on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter, or leave a comment on the website.
In this episode, we’re continue the story of Angoolimala. Angoolimala was really Ahimsaka. Kinda like how Darth Vader was really Anakin Skywalker.
In the previous episode we met Ahimsaka’s dad, who a royal priest and an astrologer.
Ahimsaka’s birth coincided with a strange case of St. Elmo’s Fire around some weapons of the King’s soldiers’. The priest and astrologer predicted that that meant his baby boy would become a most terrible villain. The priest Bhaggava wanted to put his baby boy in Prison to prevent the crime, in an idea that was later repeated in the Minority Report movie. The King however stopped his priest when he learnt that the boy was predicted to commit his crimes single handedly. And that he wouldnt be leading others into a life of crime.
So Bhaggava and his wife Mantaani brought up Ahimsaka with some gentle nudges.
The boy grew up not knowing anything about swords, spears and light sabers. He was absolute top of his class all through school. And it when he’d aced his SATs, he naturally asked his parents to send him to the best university – Takshashila. Kinda like the Harvard of Ancient India, and perhaps the whole Ancient world.
We’ll continue the story here.
Ahimsaka was excited to go to Takshashila. Given the lack of consistent and quick communication channels between distant towns, the college application procedure was very different from what we have today. So applying was usually in person. The good news was that decisions were quick. So if the professor liked you, you began classes right away!
So it was with Ahimsaka. His prospective professor, Master Yodha, looked him over.
“How feel you?” he asked the boy
“Cold sir!” said Ahimsaka
“Afraid, are you?” asked Yodha
“What has that got to do with anything, Sir?”
“Everything! Fear is the path to the dark side! Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. And I sense much fear in you”
“But, Master!” said Ahimsaka “I promise to be a good student!”
“Well this is going to lead to a lot of problems for the whole world, but on the other hand it’ll be silly of me to turn away tuition money when it comes knocking on the door. So I will take you on as my padawan learner.”
Ahimsaka kept his promise of being a good student. A little too well. He was frequently correcting his professors in class and on exam papers. He refused to pass notes, turned in homework assignments way ahead of time, asked for extra work and generally set a ridiculously high bar for everyone else.
Naturally, the student council held a special meeting excluding Ahimsaka. They had one burning topic to discuss. *Everyone* struggled to keep up with the enthusiastic Ahimsaka. As it is, they had enough of a challenge handing in their assignments right before the deadline. When on Friday right before the big sports weekend, Ahimsaka insisted on extra assignments, it was the last straw. It was just the presence of their professor that stopped the other students from beating Ahimsaka up.
But enough was enough. So the Student council was brainstorming how to solve this problem.
“Let’s send him a fake telegram from home, asking him to go visit!” said one child
“Too expensive, and all the nearby post offices would find it weird if we sent a telegram claiming to originate somewhere esle. Let’s instead let loose the animals when it’s his turn next to feed them. It’ll create chaos and everyone will blame him for it” said another.
“No, they might not. What if we make it seem like he’s been slipping out of our dorms, breaking curfew?” replied a third
“Too mild. Everyone does it, our professors know and no one complains. I think we have to make the professors resent him in some way. Like, what if he criticizes one of Yodha’s papers? It’s sure to work because Ahimsaka is sure to find some flaw in it.” suggested the student council president.
That appealed to everyone so they all acted on it. As if by accident, one of them slipped Ahimsaka a paper published by Yodha. The publication details had been obscured, so Ahimsaka did not realize that it was Yodha who had authored that paper. So when he quoted the paper in class the next day as an example of a complete failure to grasp the subject, Yodha turned beet red, while the rest of the class roared in laughter.
What’s worse Ahimsaka stood by his earlier assessment even after he realized Yodha had authored it.
That did not set well with Yodha and the teacher’s pet had had a fall from grace.
That wasn’t bad for Ahimsaka though. Even if Yodha asked him deliberately difficult questions, Ahimsaka was able to answer them all correctly.
But it was certainly bad for his professor. Yodha’s failure to teach the scamp a lesson frustrated him even further. But there was one means that Yodha could have his revenge. And that was the time of Guru Dakshina. If you haven’t heard the term before, Guru dakshina is a payment to the teacher by the student. Unlike modern educational institutions, the Universities of the past were a lot more trusting. Students would pay for their education after they had completed their course requirements. Pay your teacher whatever she or he asked for, and then you’d get your diploma.
The other quirky thing about this Ancient Indian tuition fee was that the Guru or teacher had absolute authority to decide what the student had to pay. Most would ask for money, flowers, a bottle of wine, but some didn’t. They chose to abuse the system. Ekalavya’s case is a famous one. It’s from the Mahabharat and we’ll cover it when we get to that part of the Mahabharat.
Regardless, Yodha took this rather ignoble route of making Ahimsaka pay. Both literally for his tuition and figuratively for his insolence. It would be impossible for Ahimsaka to weasel out of this. The teacher’s word was law.
As each student walked up to Yodha, paid him his guru dakshina and moved on, Yodha could barely contain his excitement.
Finally Ahimsaka stepped up. Clearly they weren’t doing this alphabetically, or Ahimsaka would have been one of the early ones.
Ahimsaka took out his money bag ready to pay, but Yodha stopped him.
“I want a thousand fingers,” he said.
“Of what? master Yodha” asked the boy calmly “Whisky? Vodka?”
“Human fingers. But I caution you – they must all be off of the right hand”
Ahimsaka took on this piece of news surprisingly well. He turned around and did a quick mental calculation. Nope there weren’t enough students and teachers at University.
Without another word, Ahimsaka stepped out of school and was gone.
It was the next student council meeting.
One of the students said to the president “I have to admit that without your idea, it might not have been much of a victory”
“Victory? Victory, you say? Not victory. The shroud of the dark side has fallen. Begun the destruction has”
That’s all for now.
Next Time
In the next episode, we’ll continue the story where we’ll see Ahimsaka’s transformation to the dark side. And plenty more star wars references!