Episode 44 – Hari Pot-Breaker – Part 1

This week, we’re doing a Telugu folk-tale, featuring an evil wizard, humans changing into a dog, and a boy who can talk to animals. Are you thinking of Harry Potter? Stop right there, this story has all of those themes, but it precedes Harry Potter by a few centuries.

It begins with a prince; let’s call him “Hari.” Hari had one hobby. And that was the medieval Indian version of “Angry Birds.” He would spend all day outside the palace, using his catapult or slingshot on unsuspecting passers-by. Yeah. When poor farmers were returning home after having worked for hours in the field, they would fall victim to the projectile from the prince’s slingshot.

It was worse with the people who fetched water. Hari would love to break the pots they’d carry. He’d break the pot, and drench the person who was carrying it on their head. It was twice the fun for the price of one. People shrugged it off. After all, what could they do? The boy was the prince. If they told him, they’d probably not get their next tax returns back.

Well, when she fell victim again to the Prince’s tricks and the water completely ruined her hair, one lady was annoyed enough to do something about it. And what she did was to calmly look up and pray to the Gods that the boy had a more substantial parental influence in his life, perhaps an authority figure.

“What do you mean?” asked Hari, but the lady wouldn’t explain.

Hari was puzzled enough that he decided to go home and ask his Moms, the Queens.

He went into the palace and saw Moms Number six, Number four, and Number three chatting. He went up to his favorite, Mom number five, and told her everything that had happened.

Rather than scolding the boy for ill-treating his subjects, Mom number Five decided it was storytime.

“You see,” she began, “what the lady referred to is that your mother and father arent around.”

“Y’all aren’t my moms? I have a father?!” asked the boy.

“Yes. Your mom and the 6 of us are all sisters, so you’re really just our nephew.”

Oblivious to the boy’s shock, Mom number five, now Auntie number five continued, “You know how it is, Seven of us sisters were married to Seven princes, and we all lived happily together until…”

“Until what?” asked Hari

“Until you were born.”

Way to traumatize a child there, Auntie number five. But the boy had been evil with his slingshot practice. He does not have my full sympathy.

Auntie number five continued “When you were maybe a day or two old, your dad and six uncles all went hunting”

“Why?! Weren’t they pleased to see me? Didn’t they want to play with me?” 

“I think they did it to escape diaper duty. But regardless, after they left, a strange man entered our palace. One moment he wasn’t there and the next he was. It was like he had apparated or something. Anyway, he wanted your mom to go with him”

“Why?” asked the boy, who was confused by all these revelations.

“I don’t know! Maybe he just liked her; she was the smartest of all of us. Anyway she refused, so he used some kind of spell to change her into a dog, and then he took off with her”

“Did she just go with him? Didn’t she try to bite or fight back?”

“No. The magician thought of that, I think. He changed her into an Old English Shepherd; you know it’s the friendly breed that never bites?”

The prince thought for a moment and then asked, “what was the Wizard’s name?”

“He-who-cannot-be-named,” said Auntie number 5.

“That’s silly! We’re taking these Harry Potter references too far. That can’t be his name.”

“It’s not his name, its what we’ve been calling him. Also, my little nephew for your information – this is not a Harry Potter rip-off. Voldemort was called He-who-must-not-be-named, not He-who-cannot-be-named. This magician is He who cannot be named because we don’t know his name.”

“This is bad. Can we just agree to call the magician one name, let’s just call him Voldemort? And anyway, where can I find this Voldemort of yours?” asked Hari.

“Why do you want to find him?” asked Auntie number 5, suddenly worried.

“I’m going to rescue my mom, my dad, and my six uncles,” he said matter-of-factly.

“Absolutely not! You’re the last only one we have left in our family.”

“You can’t tell me what to do! You’re not my mom!” said Hari, and that was the end of it.

A few days later, Aunties 1 through 6 bid him farewell as he walked off with just a slingshot and some sandwiches for the road. He was going off towards the west. That’s where Voldemort was. Probably. It sounded like a western name. And that’s all Hari had to go on.

The people in the Kingdom were happy with him leaving. No more broken pots for them! They had a pretty big feast that night to celebrate, kind of like the ones at the end of the Asterix books.

Hari meanwhile walked on for days. He was hungry and tired when he came to a little village. It was getting on towards evening, but surprisingly, there was no one out and about in the village. As he walked on the deserted village roads, he wondered if his reputation had preceded him.

Finally, he understood why when he came face to face with a ferocious tiger! Hari kept calm, even as the Tiger growled and advanced on him. Like Hari, the tiger had also been wondering why none of his two-legged dinners were out and about. He was pretty hungry, and though Hari wasn’t a full-grown adult, he’d probably do as an appetizer.

Hari stayed calm and quickly drew his slingshot. He’d been itching to do this. It’d been a whole week since he’d last used the slingshot. He took careful aim. As the tiger got closer, Hari hit the Tiger squarely on the eye. 

“Ouch!” said the Tiger, but Hari was taking aim, and seconds later, he’d temporarily blinded the Tiger in the other eye as well.

The tiger was enraged and charged at where he thought Hari was.

Hari calmly dodged him, like a matador in a bullfight. He did this a few more times until Hari was finally able to trip the Tiger into the village well.

Crisis averted, but that hadn’t helped him with food or lodgings, so Hari wandered off.

A farmer who was just returning from his farm at that point happened to pass by the well. When he heard the Tiger in the well, and then built up the courage to glimpse inside, he couldn’t believe his luck! The tiger must have accidentally fallen into the well, he thought. Now’s my chance at a medal for bravery and maybe even a knighthood! The tiger had been terrorizing the village for days! He rushed to the local King and described what an amazingly brave person he was, and how about a knighthood and a castle? The King and his ministers were indeed amazed to hear that he’d captured the Tiger. They went with him to the Village. The Princess, who had looked puzzled when the farmer related his story, went along as well.

The King, seeing the tiger was thrilled. Hurrah, I can claim this as a big win for my administration. This is going to be big. At the next royal retreat, it’ll make all the other Kings and Queens jealous! When was the last time any of those people captured a man-eating tiger in their kingdom! All I have to do is to get the farmer to sign a Non-Disclosure Agreement and declare he was in my pay all along.

Just then, a group of people stepped up to the King. They had a firm grip on Hari.

“Your majesty,” said one of them “this boy broke my pot and drenched me in cold water!”

“It was an accident, I swear,” said Hari.

“Eh, oh, what?!” said the King, who was still thinking about the press coverage from the incident. He hadn’t heard Hari. “Off with the boy’s head,” he said. “Or better, just throw him down to the tiger in the well.”

At that, the tiger who had been howling in the well stopped and began licking his lips. It was bad enough being stuck in the well, at least he would have a meal now.

I’m going to leave it on a cliffhanger here. We’ll pick up the story again next week, where we’ll encounter talking animals and the showdown with Voldemort and a reunion with a loved one.

That’s all for this week. 

Next Time

In the next mini-episode we’ll meet my brother! Yup, he’s the son of Brahma just like me. One of the seven great hall-of-fame Rishis cursed him. He would consume everything in his vicinity—sort of like an ancient Indian version of binge eating. Our dad stepped in naturally and tweaked the curse. So now he’s the purifier of everything.

I’ll see you later!