Episode 16 – Six….teen Flags

Six-teen flags!

This week we continue the story of the Ramayana. We’ll see why it’s useful to have an angry tour guide with you! They’ll teach you how to have your weapons magically appear whenever you want. Seriously Thor had a hammer, but this one is a *whole* arsenal!

And the Tour guide can also play matchmaker.

The character this week is a real person who is a legend. He’s responsible for taxicab numbers, but not the kind you might be thinking about.

If this is your first episode, I recommend going back and listening to Episodes 6 and 7, and 15. But here’s the story so far. Dasharath the king of Ayodhya badly needed an heir, so he recruited the best rishi or holy men for the job, and ended up with 4 sons, who were all avatars of Vishnu, the preserver in the holy trinity.

Kids grew up, were pretty smart and athletic and excellent warriors, that’s when Vishwamitra showed up and asked to borrow the kids to pull guard duty against some demons who were disturbing him. 

Vishwamitra was one angry rishi, who had been a king before.

He was greedy when he saw a magical wish-fulfilling calf, and then became angry a lot, and was then humiliated, and then he prayed, got some superpowers, got angry again, and was again humiliated and prayed again, got some more powers and finally made friends with the person who humiliated him twice. But he stayed angry and retained all his superpowers. So when he asked Dasharath to loan out his sons it was an offer Dasharath didn’t dare to refuse.

We pick up the story at this point, but I highly recommend that you listen to the previous episode if you haven’t already. 

Dasharath and the two boys walked all the way to the confluence of the Ganges with the Sarayu river. Google maps will tell you it’s a 3-day walk with no stops and an 8-hour drive by the toll-free road. They walked along the river, a wise choice so they had drinking water available all the time without needing to carry it. Given the lack of industrial waste in those days, the water was quite safe to drink.

Vishwamitra showed them various points of interest along the way. “Here, I stubbed my toe walking once, there used to be a vada pav or burger joint here, probably went bankrupt while I was away praying for thousands of years.

Oh yes, here, Shiva was wounded by arrows from Kamadeva, the god of love, a.k.a. Cupid.

Oh, you should have seen Cupid after that”

He stared at the boys expectantly. When they didn’t say anything. “I guess you kids don’t get the joke”

“No,” said Ram and Laxman

“So, Kamadeva hit Shiva the destroyer with an arrow”

“Why?” Asked Laxman

“Never mind why. I am sure Narada will cover that in a later episode. What matters for now is that Shiva got angry, and opened his third eye and vaporized Kamadeva, so Kamadev’s kinda all over the place now. He doesn’t have a body anymore, but he spreads himself far and wide”

“Shiva has 3 eyes?!” exclaimed Laxman, “but that wasn’t mentioned in previous episodes”

“Yeah, because the third eye is usually closed. When he opens it, it vaporizes whoever it looks it”

“Whomever” corrected Ram automatically. 

Laxman was meanwhile “that sounds just like Scott summers in the X-Men. I never got why they call him cyclops, I mean cyclops have one eye. Scott summers had 2. 

Shiva has 3! I would love to see that third eye. Closed, definitely closed”

Ram – “Shiva’s third eye is no funny business Laxman. I’ll have to keep my eye on you, my little brother”

Laxman replied “Oh I see what you did there. Well, we might not see *eye* to *eye* on this, but I…ris…ked my life for you coming down here playing *pupil* to Vishwamitra”

“Enough!” Said Vishwamitra who was up to his eye teeth with dad jokes.

“Listen,” he said.

“And what are we listening for?” Asked Laxman.

“Taraka, a demoness who lives in this forest”

“Where is she?” Asked Ram

“Right in front of us” came Vishwamitra’s reply. 

“But I don’t see anything”

“She’s invisible. She can change shape too!”

Laxman who was really good at Biology jumped on that. “That seems a wasteful evolutionary trait. Why have overlapping advantages from two different features? That’s not how evolution works”

“That’s how Taraka works” shouted Vishwamitra as he pointed out a boulder lifting off the ground as if by magic. It went to about a height of probably 50 feet and suddenly launched at them as if it had been hurled.

The boulder made straight for them but didn’t make it. Within a few feet of smashing into the three of them, it broke up into pieces, hit by an arrow from Ram.

Woah that’s faster than Legolas and Robin hood and…

“Later” interrupted Ram as he spotted another boulder being picked up. He was calculating furiously to get a lock on Taraka. But Taraka spotted what he was going to do. Sensing that the poised boulder was giving away her position she dropped it real quick and dashed away.

She needn’t have worried though, Ram had no intention of killing her. You know chivalry and all that. Instead, he did worse. Guided by her sound alone like the superhero Daredevil, he placed arrows in his bow, took a deep breath and shot off her arms with his arrows. That didn’t help though, because Taraka had magic remember, she could psychokinetically make more boulder fall – which makes you wonder why she was lifting and throwing them in the first place.

Vishwamitra said yeah, I know our traditions say don’t kill a woman and all that, but in this case, you should definitely make an exception. Otherwise, we’re going to be smashed to bits by these boulders.

Having received this go-ahead from a Brahmarishi was good enough for Ram. He closed his eyes, listened carefully for Taraka’s heartbeat which he could hear through all the boulder crushing noise because he is a god.

He shot the arrow and it immediately hit its target, killing Taraka.

Laxman and Vishwamitra were doing cartwheels around him with joy, but Ram wasn’t exactly on cloud 9. “Hold on, time out. Yes, I was only protecting us, but at what cost? Wasn’t Taraka a person who had a life of her own, maybe she had a family. Maybe she was just protecting her home from us three”.

Vishwamitra said dryly “my boy, I can see how you are conflicted. But not to worry, dispel the notion. Taraka merely killed for pleasure. And this isn’t her home, she was encroaching. This is *my* home. My amusement park. Boys, welcome to Jurassic park!”

“Jurassic, oh I see you’re millions of years old judging by all the time you spent praying in the Himalayas.”

“Are you still conflicted my boy?” Vishwamitra asked Ram.

“Not anymore, let’s carry on with the cartwheels, shall we?”

“Actually let’s just go rest, it’s been a long walk and I think my Jurassic body is tired”

They did. And the next morning, Vishwamitra had a gift for Ram.

If you remember the last episode, the friend of the world had knowledge of all kinds of celestial weapons. Why would someone need weapons when he’s friends with everyone in the world? Tough question. Anyway, he made them appear, at least one of each kind and presented them to Ram. Given these were one of every kind, Ram looked at the mountain of weapons before him. If he squinted he could just barely see the top. Thank you for these very generous gifts, but I don’t really have a way to carry these with me unless you have a few containers, a few cargo ships.

Haha, all that won’t be necessary said Vishwamitra. Do you think other gods carry all their weapons all the time? No. They use a summoning charm. Now repeat after me: “Accio weapons”

“Accio weapons” repeated Ram

“Nicely enunciated. But you don’t have to wave a stick like it’s a wand. Do you think you’re Harry Potter or something?”

They reached the hermitage soon after. Other rishis welcomed them. They were deer prancing around, birds singing sweetly. And like in a typical classic Disney movie, the woodland creatures helped out with household chores, had to whistle along to whatever song was being sung and got absolutely nothing in return.

About a week later, all the rishis in the hermitage began a ritual involving pouring a lot of common household condiments into a big fire while saying a lot of words.

This attracted the attention of the other demons in the forest. They were led by Savahu and Maricha. Maricha was actually Taraka’s son, and that means Vishwamitra had not been entirely transparent.

Rama immediately summoned his weapons. He picked one at random, ooh flamethrower. He aimed it at Savahu and poof, Savahu was gone, incinerated.

He picked another it said “Juggernaut”. He aimed that one at Maricha. Maricha didn’t know what hit him. He only realized that it transported him hundreds of miles away deep in the middle of the southern Indian ocean infamously known for MH370.

The rest of the demons would have attacked but Ram used the “multiplier” next, it replicated in mid-air, each one finding its target.

I could get used to this, Ram said as he surveyed his handiwork. 

Rituals concluded, they awarded medals all around among the rishis – best chanting, best ingredient, best fire stoker.

But the best kill award went to Ram of course, and Vishwamitra got the best recruiter award.

The next morning Ram and Laxman were expecting to return but Vishwamitra had plans. We need to make a side trip. We need to go to Mithila.

“What’s in Mithila?” asked the brothers

“Janaka” was the answer

“Still not ringing any bells”

“He’s the guy with Shiva’s bow”

“Ahhh,” said the brothers. For they knew about Shiva the destroyer’s bow. Who didn’t? It was a huge and heavy bow that was now a hand me down. Shiva had used it in a fight once and the string had broken loose, so Shiva gave it to a fan of his, it changed hands a few times, collectors, auction houses, attics and ultimately Janaka realized what it was and built a museum around it. He had to because the bow was so heavy you’d need a forklift to move it, and as you probably know those didn’t exist 3000 years ago.

So Janaka also had a daughter. Actually he had 4 daughters. The eldest was Sita who was actually adopted. She was found in a field and the king and queen decided she was the new princess. The king and queen had organized a little contest here. It was a Swayamvar for Sita. A swayamvar is an event where the girl chooses whom to marry. She chooses to marry whoever completes a challenge…. that the king has set. True, her father got to set the challenge but it’s not like the girl is forced to marry whoever completes it – think about it as a filtering mechanism.

The challenge, in this case, was for someone to lift Shiva’s bow and to string it.

Many had tried but no one came close to even budging the bow. 

When Ram stepped up though, he casually lifted the bow as if it were light as a feather. Gasps all over the court.

He began stringing it with practiced ease, whistling as he did so.

He said to Laxman, “ooh my shoelaces are undone. Here hold this bow for a second while I do them up”

“Sure… wait a minute” as Ram started laughing “got you!”

He finished stringing the bow. He held it up and bent it and further and further until with a loud crack the bow broke in two. Gasps all around again, and applause

Sita was thrilled! She had been secretly hoping this Ram guy who was the talk of the town would complete the challenge, and he had! Actually, as King Janaka and King Dasharath got to know each other, and as Janaka had 4 daughters, they kinda decided to make this is a 4 for one deal. So Sita married Ram, Urmila her sister married Laxman, and Mandavi and Shrutakirti married Bharat and Shatrughna.

The wedding was going well, but just then there was a war cry. It was Parshuram.

Parshuram was an avatar of Vishnu as well, and a rishi and had a major war going with kings and warriors. He was also a devotee of Shiva. He’d heard of Shiva’s bow being broken, by a prince no less and that made him really angry.

He was here to challenge Ram to a duel. But when the two avatars of Vishnu looked at each other and Parshuram realized he shouldn’t have been hasty in issuing the challenge, he quickly toned it down. “Here’s Vishnu’s own bow. String it without breaking it and I’ll let you go”.

“Fair enough,” said the other avatar of Vishnu.

Ram did, effortlessly and of course. It had a fingerprint lock on it and Ram had no problems, of course, he was Vishnu too.

Parshuram said alright, you are no ordinary human prince, I will let this slide this time. But no more breaking Shiva’s bows got it? Wink wink.

“Why not” began Ram. “I mean of course. Yeah no more breaking Shiva’s bow” Wink.

Parshuram headed off into his fortress of solitude in the Himalayas again.

Ram and his sibling and Sita and her sibling lived happily in Ayodhya until their lives were turned upside down. But that’s for a future episode.

We’ll leave it off here.

Character of the week

The character this week is Ramanujam. Ramanujam was a mathematician in British-ruled India. He was self-taught but clearly a genius. And like most geniuses, he was dismissed by other so-called experts who actually did not understand some of his theorems and proofs. This changed when Ramanujam got a pen pal. G.H. Hardy, a British mathematician recognized Ramanujam’s ability to solve problems that he and his colleagues thought unsolvable. He had Ramanujam continue his work in London.

Unfortunately for Ramanujam and for the rest of the world, he was in poor health and passed away at the young age of 33.

Ramanujam is famous for taxicab numbers. And by that, I don’t mean the idea of numbering taxis, but a rather unique mathematical concept that came about when Hardy was visiting the sick Ramanujam in hospital.

Hardy remarked that he’d ridden in taxicab number 1729 and that it seemed a rather dull number.

Now personally you and I would have agreed right away, but not Ramanujam.

“That’s not dull at all!” he said.

“Its the smallest number that is expressed as the sum of two cubes in two different ways”. 

“Huh?!”, thought the doctor who was listening in, but Hardy seemed to get it.

“Mathematicians!” muttered the doctor as he walked out

1729 is one of 6 known taxicab numbers today. Does it have any practical value? Probably not, but then you can that about a lot of mathematical concepts. It’s an interesting concept though and poses yet another challenge for people to solve, like the digits of pi.

That’s it for now.

Next Week

I’m very excited about next week – I’ll be telling you a Kashmiri folk tale about laughing fish and metaphors gone wild.

The character next week is a lady frozen in stone, who can only be set free if a specific person kicks her barefoot. Guess what are the chances of that happening by accident?

I’ll see you next week!