Episode 15 – Rishi vs Rishi: Un-civil war!

A very happy Republic day to everyone, especially those in India!

This week, we’ll continue the story of the Ramayana today, where you’ll see a clash between two titans. One of them – everyone around him is desperately trying to avoid making him angry. The other one has a magical object that can help him fight anything. The comparison to a battle between the Incredible Hulk and Thor ends right there.

And we’ll encounter another one of my dad’s mistakes. There are so many I am almost considering compiling an encyclopedia of those.

If you haven’t heard episodes 6 and 7 it might be a good idea to do that. But if not, I will provide a quick summary.

King Dasharath ruled Ayodhya and everyone in the kingdom was happy. Except for the king and his three queens. He had no heir. He recruited a famous rishi from another king, performed a couple of complicated rituals and finally his wives gave birth to 4 sons between them. They were no ordinary sons – they all had portions of Vishnu, the creator in them, although Vishnu was most concentrated in Ram, the eldest, and son of Kaushalya. Vishnu had decided to do this because most other gods had appealed to him to help solve the Ravan problem. Ravan was the demon king of Lanka and had superhuman and super demon powers thanks to another goof-up from my dad, Brahma the creator. Ravan had prayed to Brahma and been made invulnerable to gods, animals, and other demons. Out of arrogance, he neglected to ask to be made invulnerable to humans, and that is where Ram could come in. Ram was an avatar of the god Vishnu but was human enough to get a passing score on the “Are you qualified to kill Ravan?” quiz

Ram, Laxman, Bharat, and Shatrughna were all growing up and they were doing what regular princes did, you know excelling at sports, arts, studies. Their teacher was like, “of course all 4 of these boys deserve their A++ grades. Wait are you saying they are the princes? I was completely unaware when I assigned them that grade” Even though they were his only students and they wore crowns all the time.

All 4 princes were equally great, but one of them was more equal than the others to borrow a phrase. Ram was the wisest of all and his brothers completely respected him. In this one aspect, the sibling differed from all other regular brotherly relationships that often involve shoving pushing kicking and fistfights over comics and video games. This obviously was because Vishnu was part of them all. It’d be really weird if one part of Vishnu would quarrel with another. That being said, there will be some examples of polite disagreement between the brothers, we will see those in future episodes.

Anyway, after another hard day’s work, full of midterm exams and equestrian and archery competitions, the family was all lounging by the pool, relaxing and taking it easy.
Just then the butler announced a very important visitor. It was the rishi Vishwamitra.
This had the effect of making everyone really really nervous. Not because he was a rishi, although that fact was enough to make any treasurer worry about the wine and food expenses. (See episode 5 for more details on that). The king was nervous because it was Vishwamitra.

To explain why we’ll put the framing story on hold and dive into Vishwamitra’s story for a bit.

Vishwamitra was a king. Yes, he was a rishi later but used to be a king to start with. You might be tempted to think that having hosted several rishis at his palace he chose the good life and to be a rishi living off of rich kings. But this was not so.
While he was a king, Vishwamitra was visiting unannounced the hut of a rishi called Vashishta. It was just a break from his hunting trip. Vishwamitra’s trip, not Vashishta’s.
Vashishta was a good rishi. He had nothing to complain about. The main reason for this was that he had a calf – Nandini the baby of Kamadhenu a wish-fulfilling cow. Wish fulfillment ran in the family, so Nandini could fulfill wishes too. Kamadhenu was born out of a massive experiment in the ocean, about which I will definitely do an episode.
Seeing Vashishta all happy Vishwamitra was curious to know what made him happy. I just dropped in without notice your hut looks bare and you aren’t worried about how you’re going to host me?
Naah I have a way he said, and as he made a silent wish to Nandini an enormous spread appeared before them. All kinds of wonderful food and wine and the finest of china.
Vishwamitra asked, “This has to be magic! We aren’t trading with china – in fact, we don’t even know China exists given the Himalayas in between- how did you get this?”
Vashishta chuckled and said nothing.
A few more magical tricks later Vishwamitra pressed Vashishta into revealing the source of his magic. And Vashishta did, reluctantly.
“Oh, so you have a magic calf that makes everything?” He rushed outside and upon spotting a calf immediately made a test with – a rolls Royce. A bright flash and the car appeared before him. Centuries later, of course, we know David Copperfield can play the same trick, and make it look just as easy
Vishwamitra wasn’t satisfied with the Rolls.
Vashishta was reluctant though. He said “Hmm, I know we’re in ancient India and guests are treated like gods, but even this is too much. You’re imposing”
“But But But, I have a Rolls I must have everything that goes with it, gas stations every couple of miles, a chauffeur, a mechanic, a garage and miles of asphalt all over the country. I must have Nandini”
“Sorry King, no can do”
Vishwamitra even as a king had his nasty temper.
“How dare you defy me? I can destroy you and take the calf anyway!”
“You and what army?” asked Vashishta
“Why, my army!” Said Vishwamitra but when Vishwamitra turned around, his soldiers were on the run. Being chased by a massive army that appeared out of nowhere – except it wasn’t out of nowhere Vashishta had wished for it, and Nandini had obliged.

Vishwamitra was humiliated. Nandini manufactured soldiers had now surrounded him and he was at Vashishta’s mercy. In a scene that might remind you of the climax from Pulp Fiction, Vashishta let Vishwamitra go, but just like the climax from Pulp Fiction Vishwamitra walked away, without the mysterious wish-fulfilling suitcase, I mean calf and without his dignity, but he got to walk away.
If he’d learned his lesson then, a lot of things just wouldn’t have happened in the Ramayana.

Now Vashishta had made it personal. He’d humiliated Vishwamitra in front of no one since Vishwamitra’s army had already run away. But that didn’t matter. Vishwamitra was humiliated and he couldn’t take that. He wasn’t going to give up easily or at all.

As most people have done in these podcasts when you really need something – what do you do? You go to the Himalayas and pray to the gods. We saw this happen with good people and bad – Manu did it in Episode 1 and he was a good guy. Many others did this too but in pursuit of weapons. Vishwamitra was wiser than most of them. Brahma was usually the first choice, given he was so eager to please. But what Vishwamitra needed was a weapon. He prayed instead to Shiva. Makes total sense, when you want a weapon to you know destroy someone, Shiva the destroyer has to be the better choice over Brahma the creator.

Shiva was happy to oblige. With everyone praying to Brahma all the time, it was a welcome change.

He granted Vishwamitra knowledge of all kinds of divine weapons.

Armed with these Vishwamitra attacked the one person who had not given in to his tantrums, and humiliated him. Vishwamitra attacked Vashista’s hermitage with everything he had. Vashista had a thousand sons, and Vishwamitra killed all of them. He was attacking Vashista with everything he had, but Vashista had managed to survive.
This may sound like a Thanos vs Iron man moment, remember the planet scene? But it was not. Vashista had one powerful weapon with him. It was his staff, called the Brahmadanda. You might be tempted to think that this was like Thor’s hammer. But it’s more like a lightsaber, but made out of wood. This stick could block and absorb anything. As Vishwamitra threw everything including the kitchen sink at Vashista, the staff blocked and absorbed everything.
Vishwamitra was running out of options. There was nothing more to try. He’d tried the most powerful divine weapons, something Shiva might himself have used in destroying.
He finally tried the Brahmastra – one of the most powerful weapons of all, capable of destroying the entire world. He fired it straight at Vashista. It too was harmlessly absorbed.

Vishwamitra finally realized he was not going to win this. He walked away from this fight, while Vashista calmly undid all the destruction Vishwamitra had caused.

Vishwamitra went back to the Himalayas and prayed. There are several incidents in his life at this point that I’ll reserve for future episodes.

After several thousands of years of praying and finally overcoming many of his conquer-the-world emotions and desires, he was finally promoted by Brahma to be a Brahmarishi – a rishi in an elevated state. It was premature, because Vishwamitra still retained his temper, and he retained pride.

Finally coming down the Himalayas, Vishwamitra made the rounds meeting and greeting other rishis establishing his network.

He ran into the one person who was the cause of everything that had happened to Vishwamitra. All because he had refused to handover a calf.
It was Vashista. Vishwamitra saw Vashista as his peer in the Rishi world, and he greeted him politely by folding his hands. Standard gesture. Vashista responded by blessing Vishwamitra, a clear indication that Vashista saw himself as Vishwamitra’s superior.
Now, this would have enraged Vishwamitra, but it didn’t. Vashista’s blessing had the effect of wiping away the pride that Vishwamitra still had in his heart.
As Vishwamitra turned away with absolutely no hatred and arrogance in his heart, Vashista stopped him. He now recognized the change in Vishwamitra. That he’d himself affected a minute ago. He embraced Vishwamitra as an equal would. They became friends at this point.
Though Vishwamitra retained his tendency to get angry, Vashista saw past that and forgave him. Everything. Including the killing of his sons.

So that’s the story of Vishwamitra. Vishwamitra literally means the world’s friend. But don’t let the name fool you. Yes, Vishwamitra could be your friend, but if you made him angry he could probably crush you into a paste or something. He was not the Incredible Hulk, but he could get angry easily and he still had tremendous powers at his disposal.

So when Vishwamitra arrived and spoke to Dasharath, the king was very nervous.

As Vishwamitra started saying “I was wondering if you….”
Dasharath interrupted “anything, you can have anything. It’s all yours”
Vishwamitra said his voice rising “I was only going to ask you if you had any pigs in your kingdom. You’re offering me pigs now? Those unclean animals. How dare you?”

Dasharath started trembling before Vishwamitra. He knew it, he had only his big mouth to thank. He hoped for a quick ending.

But then Vishwamitra laughed out loud. “Relax, I am just kidding. Hahaha, you should have seen your face when I pretended to get angry.
Kings! This joke gets them every time!”

Dasharath didn’t appreciate the joke, but he knew Vishwamitra was capable of genuinely getting angry easily so he did laugh, despite his nervousness, and almost as loud as Vishwamitra himself. He certainly didn’t point out that though Vishwamitra was talking about Kings derisively he himself had been a King once, and look how that had turned out for him.

Suddenly turning serious maybe sensing Dasharath’s thoughts, Vishwamitra said “but you promised me anything, so I will hold you to it”
“Sure,” said Dasharath, “anything” he repeated. But now he was less sure.

“I want Ram and Laxman”

“What?!” said Dasharath

“On loan,” said Vishwamitra. “Just for a little while”
“And where will you take them?” Asked Dasharath
“To the amusement park?” quipped Laxman in excitement
“Kind of,” said Vishwamitra. “I mean its actually my home. It’s in a park, and I guarantee I will be amused. I mean there are no rides, and the scary monsters are all real, not paid actors, but I can at least provide overpriced soda and snacks”

“Monsters?” asked Dasharath

“Yeah. You see, I have been trying to do some rituals and say some prayers but I keep getting interrupted by these demons or Rakshasas. I need Ram and Laxman to, you know, handle them for me so I am not disturbed”

“Rakshas?” Said Dasharath. “No way, Ram and Laxman are just teenagers what are they going to do against Rakshas?”

Vishwamitra began in a cold voice “ are you going back on your promise? That will make me very angry. I don’t think you will like me when I’m angry. He said with real menace in his voice this time”

Dasharath was about to continue the argument perhaps offering his army as a substitute- you know 1000s of soldiers capable of killing wild animals with their bare hands is more than a fair trade for 2 teenage boys. But luckily for Dasharath, his minister stepped in – “boss, let the boys go. They’ll be fine. Vishwamitra can destroy the demons himself but he asked for your sons. I am sure he means to teach them along the way”
Vishwamitra said – “Yeah, whatever he said”

Dasharath reluctantly let his sons go with Vishwamitra to his hermitage.

What happens to Ram and Laxman in the house of horrors and the real monsters? Spoiler alert, they come out alive, and not even a bit scared. But we’ll pick that story up next week.

Notes

The brahmadanda is a very unique weapon. It doesn’t shoot out any stuff but absorbs anything aimed at it. It’s a black hole on a stick, except it doesn’t absorb in Vashishta himself.
Rishis, even patient ones were treated with great respect. Kings would move mountains to keep them happy.
There are a number of things that happened to Vishwamitra in between his visits to Vashishta’s home. They need to be told by themselves in a future episode or two.

Character of the week

You want to stay away from the character this week because this character is the bubonic plague! Who knew diseases had character?

The Bubonic plague was a disease that devastated the world’s population at many times. It’s curable now but was quite fatal in ancient times.
Bubonic plague being bubonic plague had struck a village. The villagers prayed to their king to do something about it. They probably meant for the king to provide medicine and better hospitals but the king instead commissioned his priests to solve this problem. The priests did what they do best – they prayed to Siva the destroyer and Siva was happy enough to oblige. But not himself. While he could have easily you know destroyed the plague, he chose an indirect approach sending his home security solution instead. And that was Nandi. Nandi guarded the village. Pretty soon plague arrived to claim its next victim. There was a furious battle and it ended in a stalemate because Nandi and the plague were evenly matched. Neither side wanted to give up, though they each wanted to move on from this one village, they had bigger things to do. Ultimately they reached a compromise Nandi would allow the plague to go in and pick one victim and they would each go their own ways.
Nandi was shocked therefore when the next day, not one but a hundred people had died. He caught up to plague in a fury demanding an explanation.
Plague’s response was simple – he said “I did only take one victim. The other 99 people didn’t die because of me, they had a simple fever and mistook it as a sign of my approach. They died out of fear”.
Nandi had to let the plague go.

Next week

Next week we’ll continue the story of the Ramayana. We’ll see how Ram and Laxman handle the demons. And Vishwamitra does take them somewhere afterward, where Ram ends up married! Not even remotely Las Vegas-like, but everybody there is trying to win the jackpot.

The character next week is not a myth but a legend. He’s a real historical character who’s responsible for taxicab numbers!