Chandrakanta – Perfume Seller – {Ep.251}

We continue the story of Chandrakanta in today’s episode, with Tej Singh and Chapla continuing to fool Ministers and Kings, all in a race against time to keep Maharaja Shivdutt at bay!

Welcome to “Stories From India”. This is a podcast that will take you on a journey through the rich mythology, folklore and history of the Indian subcontinent. I am Narada Muni, the celestial storyteller and the original “time lord”. With my ability to travel through space and time, I can bring you fascinating stories from the past, the present, and the future. From the epic tales of the Mahabharata and Ramayana to the folktales of the Panchatantra to stories of Akbar-Birbal and Tenali Raman, I have a story for every occasion.

The purpose of the stories is neither to pass judgment nor to indoctrinate. My goal is only to share these stories with people who may not have heard them before and to make them more entertaining for those who have.

Today’s Story

In this episode, we’re continuing the story of Chandrakanta. This is a fantasy/science fiction novel written by Devaki Nandan Khatri over a century ago.

If you haven’t heard previous Chandrakanta episodes on this show that is perfectly okay, because I’ll recap the story so far. But I do recommend checking out the links in the show notes and on the site sfipodcast.com to those previous episodes.

Prince Virendra of Naugarh and Princess Chandrakanta of neighboring Vijaygarh were in love with each other. Both sets of parents had agreed that two of them could marry. 

That’s where Kroor Singh threw a wrench into the works, by poisoning Chandrakanta’s father’s mind and turning him against Virendra. Kroor Singh was the Vijaygarh Minister’s son and therefore the next minister, because…. Nepotism. He was also his father’s assassin and I guess a poisoning expert – because he didn’t just poison the King’s mind, but also his father’s drink. 

Kroor Singh was motivated by money, love, and power. He wanted to marry Chandrakanta, become the next King by hastening along his father-in-law’s demise, just as he had hurried along his father’s demise.

Kroor Singh, Virendra, Chandrakanta, all had these Aiyyaar sidekicks, who did most of the real work in this story

If you want a pop culture analogy, Aiyyaars were a mashup of Mystique from the X-Men, James Bond, and Sherlock Holmes. Because they could shapeshift, they had access to futuristic technology, and they were experts at chemistry. Rival Aiyyars were constantly locked in a cat and mouse game – trying to trick each other. 

Virendra’s aiyyaar Tej Singh had outwitted and imprisoned Ahmed, one of Kroor Singh’s Aiyyaars. Only Tej Singh, and his brother-in-law and fellow aiyyaar Devi Singh knew about the beautiful valley where Ahmed was being held.

Kroor Singh’s other aiyyaar, Nazim, had at one point been caught by Chandrakanta’s Aiyyaars Champa and Chapla but he managed to escape.

A comedy of errors followed where Kroor Singh and Nazim thought they had captured Tej Singh and Virendra, but all they got was embarrassment at being proven wrong, and they got punished for alarming the King. Out of deep resentment, and in order to raise his coup game, Kroor Singh formed an alliance with Maharaj Shivdutt of Chunargarh. While he was doing that Tej Singh had secretly infiltrated Vijaygarh and completely destroyed Kroor Singh’s reputation. Mission accomplished, Tej returned to Virendra, where a mysterious passerby warned them of Shivdutt’s 7 Aiyyars, all but two of whom were on their way to help Kroor Singh.

That’s where we’ll continue the story today.

Tej Singh sped away in the direction of Vijaygarh. The whole discussion with Virendra about passwords and such had taken much longer than he had hoped but it was absolutely necessary. 

Like a wise person said, strong passwords now prevent chaos tomorrow.

Tej didn’t want Virendra to be hoodwinked by one of Shivdutt’s Aiyyaars. He had told Virendra that Shivdutt’s aiyyaars were some of the more competent Aiyyars. But he had not been fully truthful. They were the most competent Aiyyaars. Jagannath and Badrinath regularly schooled Aiyyars like Tej singh. And even if, by some miracle, Tej Singh were to not fall into Jagannath’s or Badrinath’s tricks, the numbers were against him. They might just overpower him given their 7 to 1 ratio. Actually there were 8 of them if you count Nazim. He wasn’t the brightest, but he had managed to trick Chandrakanta’s Aiyyaar Champa, so at least he wasn’t bottom of the totem pole.

Tej Singh needed some kind of a tactical advantage. And he got it, when he met the young man going in the opposite direction.

More accurately he got the idea after the young man stopped him and said “Hello Tej Singh.” The young man had spoken in Chapla’s voice.

Let’s go a few kilometers over and an hour earlier to Chandrakanta’s chambers.

Chandrakanta was talking to her dear friend and Aiyyaar.

“Chapla, what do you think Virendra is up to at this very moment?”

“Sleeping, I imagine, it’s pretty late in the night”

Not the kind of answer a hopeless romantic like Chandrakanta expected. “I bet he’s sitting at his window, gazing in my direction, singing a song of love”

“No Princess, it’s rather chilly tonight. I reckon he’s definitely in bed with a warm and comfortable blanket. Speaking of which, it’s past your bedtime my dear. Would you like to read a story?”

“Noooooooo, I want to talk about Virendra,” Chandrakanta said petulantly.

It took a lot of persuasion from Chapla before Chandrakanta went to sleep. First Chapla had to read the story about The Magic Lotus Pond and the Blue Tiger. And then she had to promise that she’d get a message across to either Tej Singh or Virendra Singh about how much Chandrakanta was missing him.

“It’s been less than a day since you last saw him,” Chapla reminded her. But Chandrakanta felt it had been an eternity. Chapla was an aiyyaar through and through. She wasn’t interested in this mawkish sentiment. She was a woman of action. She had to go meet Tej Singh. Not simply to pass on Chandrakanta’s message to Virendra. She needed to talk strategy over with Tej.

So after tucking in the Princess, she swiftly transformed her appearance into that of a young man, and headed in the direction of Naugarh.

That’s how she met Tej Singh coming the other way.

The two stopped for a strategy talk. Tej Singh caught her up to everything, including the news about Shivdutt’s Aiyyaars. She didn’t interrupt, except once to say “hey, what do you mean by a 7:1 ratio. Are you forgetting Champa and I?”

Tej Singh offered the rather weak excuse that he was merely a product of his misogynistic era. But not to be offended because they could turn it to their advantage. Shivdutt’s Aiyyaars were probably going to underestimate her in this story.

“Listen, 7 to 3 is still a pretty bad ratio. But this battle is not to be fought with Aiyyaars alone. I can bet Shivdutt and Kroor Singh are plotting to take over Vijaygarh. And if the King continues to focus on Virendra Singh, he’ll be caught unawares. First and foremost I have to change the King’s mind. The best way I can do that is to….”

“I know, you’ll impersonate Queen Ratnaprabha” Chapla hastily interrupted.

“A sound idea Chapla, except I’m not prepared to make such a big sacrifice. And I can easily accomplish the same thing by impersonating the Vijaygarh Diwan, Hardayal Singh. I want you to come meet me at Hardayal’s home tomorrow night to discuss battle plans. You can come as yourself – don’t need a disguise”

That seemed okay, but Chapla was unsure how exactly Tej Singh was going to take over the role of the Diwan? And what was going to happen to the current Diwan – Hardayal Singh? He was a good egg.

“I have plans,” Tej Singh said, but didn’t add anything more.

Chapla shrugged and said, “Fine if you don’t want to reveal your plans, so be it. But if you get caught, don’t expect me to risk my neck rescuing you.”

We’ll see much later in the story, but these were prophetic words. Chapla went back, completely forgetting to pass on Chandrakanta’s lovey-dovey message to Virendra.

Tej Singh got down to it immediately. He took on the appearance of a perfume seller. He also had lots and lots of bottles on his person that somehow hadn’t smashed so far despite him being on horseback. For several hours, he walked the streets selling perfume. You may ask, was this method-acting really necessary? Couldn’t he have simply gone straight to Hardayal Singh’s house and tried to sell him the particular bottle in his collection that was judiciously not marked “chloroform”?

Well, you might as well ask if the evil uncle from Aladdin’s story would have been believed if he had tried to grab the magic lamp without being seen as a lamp-exchanger. 

It paid off. This perfume seller was finally invited into Hardayal Singh’s home after hours of loud, enthusiastic selling to everyone on the street. And when Hardayal Singh and his dinner companions asked for this flavor or that, . Tej Singh had a set of discarded perfume strips, copies of receipts, a hastily organized pile of cash. Observing all that no one suspected any foul play.

Finally Tej Singh finally produced a little vial of sparkly red perfume and held it up. “This the King of all perfumes. The rarest perfume in the world. This was crafted by Praful Singh, the master perfumer himself!”

“Praful Singh? The Scent Sage? The Aroma Alchemist? I thought he retired”

“He had, but it kept bothering him how he never delivered his magnum opus. And he came out of retirement to make this”

To say his customers were intrigued was an understatement.

“I have here a carefully forged, I mean carefully folded certificate of authenticity,” Tej Singh added, but no one seemed to care about the certificate. They wanted the perfume. 

“Sure, it’s yours for the measly sum of 1 lakh rupees.”

Jaws dropped and a sudden silence fell on the crowd. “You should let us smell it at least, if you expect us to fork up that kind of money”

“I’m not supposed to,” Tej Singh was reluctant, but gave in only after Hardayal Singh pointed out that they did this for chariots and horses all the time – those were always up for a test drive. So why not a bottle of perfume, eh?

So Tej Singh uncorked the bottle a tiny bit. Swiftly, he walked around making sure that every one of the guests had a whiff, before offering the vial to Hardayal Singh himself.

“Woah, that does smell good. I like it. Can you wrap it up nicely in a gift box for my wife?”

Then as he hastily added “I said wrap the perfume bottle up, not wrap me up.” Because then Tej Singh had begun tying Hardayal Singh’s hands and feet. The other guests were all knocked out cold. Hardayal Singh himself was drowsy and dozed off. 

Tej Singh knew he needed to move fast now. He swiftly took on the appearance of a Dhobi, you know, a washerman. He put Hardayal into a sack, the way dhobis put their clothes. And from the outside you couldn’t have told that there was a bound and gagged Diwan in the sack and not someone’s dirty laundry. The only awkward bits were that the Dhobi was riding a horse instead of a donkey and second he seemed to be off to wash clothes at midnight. But seeing as it was midnight no one was around to ask these questions.

Tej Singh sped to his secret cave where he had left Ahmed. He went through the elaborate ritual of opening the cave, and then left Hardayal Singh in there. Unchained. There was no need to bind him – he was a harmless fellow. He just needed the Diwan in a place where he could not interfere with Tej Singh’s plans.

When Tej Singh sped back it was getting close to dawn. Which was worrisome because the others might wake up. He also had to stop to change his appearance into that of Hardayal Singh. Well as it happens, the rest of them were already awake. They had been awakened by the maid who had come to clear the dinner table. They were all wondering why they had all slept at exactly the same time, and more importantly where Hardayal Singh was.

“Right here,” Tej Singh said in Hardayal Singh’s voice, as he entered.

“That perfume seller was a fraud. He knocked all of you out and tried to knock me out too. And he ran off with the silver”

“No he didn’t,” piped the maid. “I counted all the plates and spoons myself and they’re all there”

“No, he stole a silver chain I had in a box” Hardayal Singh recovered quickly.

“I chased him for a while but he managed to escape. Well there’s nothing else to do tonight. You all had better go home, we have court in a few hours”

And they did. This is the moment that Tej had worked up to. He walked into Maharaja Jai Singh’s court that morning. The Maharaja greeted him with a snicker. “I heard you got hoodwinked last night”

“No your majesty. I stopped him. But truth be told it’s you and I who are being hoodwinked right now.”

“What do you mean Hardayal?” 

“I mean that I have very reliable news from my informers that Shivdutt and Kroor Singh have teamed up to topple you. In fact some of Shivdutt’s Aiyyaars may be here right now, aiming their arrows.”

Jai Singh frantically looked in all directions.

“Guards, be alert” he shouted.

Instantly all the guards obeyed. Except for one. He wasn’t obeying. He seemed to be sneaking away.

“There, that one!” shouted Hardayal Singh. “Guards hold him. He’s the one over there”

Trying to point out an individual guard in a sea of guards all dressed identically was never going to be easy. But Hardayal was barking orders now. He ordered for the emergency lockdown protocol – for Jai Singh and his family to be taken to the secret underground bunker while he investigated this.

It took a bit of chaos but the guard who was sneaking away was identified, and Hardayal Singh insisted on questioning him 1 on 1. 

Turns out there was a very honest explanation to all this. The guard had only been sneaking to the toilet. Hardayal Singh nodded but forbade the guard from speaking about this to anyone. In fact the guard needed to disappear. Right now. He could never talk to anyone else.

The guard gulped when he heard that. “Please sir, spare my life”

“Of course man, I’m not a villain. I meant – you should disappear for a month or so. Think about it as paid leave. Don’t talk to anyone. Don’t be seen.”

Hardayal helped the guard out of the back door in disguise.

And then went to the secret underground bulletproof, bombproof and radiation proof bunker to see the Maharaja.

“It was an assassin. I got the truth out of him. Shivdutt’s guy. War is coming, whether you like it or not”

Jai Singh seemed to despair. “What am I to do? Shivdutt’s army is much more powerful than mine. And his Aiyyaars are legendary. I don’t stand a chance”

“You do sire,” Hardayal Singh said. “Ask Naugarh for help”

Jai Singh was aghast, “After the way I treated them? They’ll laugh in my face”

“No they won’t. My other spies, the ones in Naugarh, are telling me they want to go back to being friends with you. They just want you to make the first move.”

“Then I will! Get me my writing pad, and my ink and my quill. I’ll dash off a letter full of olive branches”

He did. And Hardayal Singh insisted on taking the letter to Naugarh himself.

That was it. That was the outcome he wanted. He had no doubts that Naugarh would jump at this opportunity to form a friendship again with Vijaygarh. Would that be enough to counter Shivdutt’s armies and Aiyyaars? Maybe not, but it would at least buy them a lot more time. Time Tej Singh desperately needed.

We’ll see what happens next, but in a later episode.

That’s all for now

Some notes on the show

Previous Chandrakanta episodes are linked in the show notes and on the site sfipodcast.com, check them out:

https://sfipodcast.com/category/chandrakanta

That’s all for now. 

Next Time

In the next episode, we’re continuing the Ramayana. Is this going to be the end of Indrajit? We’re going to find out

Feedback

Thank you all for the comments on Social Media and on Spotify’s Q&A! I can’t directly reply to the questions there, but I’ll address them here on this show.

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And yes I can do a Harishchandra story soon. And I will.

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Jenn thank you for the Kind words!

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Madhusudhan Debnath – yes that’s in another variation of the Unicorn Fish story. Some of it strangely overlaps with Noah’s story, which is probably a result of mixing of cultures and mythologies over the centuries.

Thank you Remind Me for the generous praise!

Libby you’re getting your wish. Ramayana is up next.

Aman – I’m glad my podcast is a source of comfort to you on the long maritime expeditions of yours. Of course I can do a Vikramaditya story next month.

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The music is from Purple Planet.

Thanks for listening and I’ll see you next time!