Bihar Folk Tale – A Pilfering Princely Parable – {Ep.183} – Stories From India

In this episode, we’re going to do a folk tale from the eastern state of Bihar. This Bihar Folk Tale features a Prince who has perfected the art of stealing. Along with stealing jewelry, and horses, he can also steal the heart of a Princess.

A King and a Father

The story begins in a Kingdom many centuries ago. This Kingdom had a King called Raja. Raja cared nothing more than to use Taxpayer money to ensure that his children got the best possible education. And because what I’m describing was a patriarchal society, when I said that he wanted his children to be well-educated, I meant that he wanted his sons to be well-educated. In Raja’s mind, it was a foregone conclusion that his Sons were going to take over his Kingdom’s administration one day.

But as I was saying, this King cared nothing more than ensuring that his children got a world-class education. So he sent them to the best University possible. Given the century they were in, that best University possible was neither Oxford nor Cambridge, nor Harvard. It was Nalanda. To ensure that they got the most attention, or rather, the highest grades, Raja donated heavily to the University. Yeah indeed, this worked in the past, just as it seems to work in some Universities today.

And today, Raja was in a particularly good mood. His sons were coming home after graduation! There wasn’t much in the way of a ceremony for graduates back in the day. In fact, the King wasn’t sure if they had graduated or if they had failed. Not that he expected them to fail, given all the money he had donated to the University.

Graduation!

He received his children privately in his room. It was better this way. What if he questioned them in court and it turned out that they had majored in dishwashing or mopping floors? That wouldn’t do.

Raja was pleased to see that all three of them had graduated. Now came the very important step of giving them their first jobs.

He asked his eldest son – Gyaani what he had learned. Gyaani was happy to report that he had completed his Bachelor’s degree in Economics. That was a while ago. He could have returned home right after getting his diploma but decided to accompany his brothers. And while he was waiting for them to graduate, he also completed a Master’s degree in Business Administration.

Raja was extremely pleased. He instructed Gyaani to head up the treasury, and to start by auditing all the balance sheets for the Kingdom. And gifted him a ring from his own finger.

The second son, Nidar, said that he had a diploma in Warrior Science. He had perfected the exquisite art of sword fighting. And that’s not all, he could make swords too. His designs had become especially popular amongst a club in Japan, called the Samurai or something?

Raja was especially pleased. Nidar could now lead and train his armies. He was going to become both the commander of the army and a weapons supplier to it. That may sound like there’s a conflict of interest there, but don’t worry. Tony Stark as Iron Man did that too. Raja gave Nidar a chain from around his neck as a gift.

If you’ve been listening to this show, you may already have anticipated what happened with the third son. What I mean is that every time you see two brothers or two sisters conforming to societal expectations, the third one steps up and says “Not so fast” and bucks the trend.

So it was in this case as well. Raja was happy and optimistic, given what he had heard from his first two sons. He was mentally prepared for 1 overachiever, 1 mediocre and 1 underperforming child. And now that both Gyaani and Nidar had shown they were overachievers, he would gladly forgive his third son even if he had become an artist.

The third son, whose name was Kalakaar, thought that this was a happy coincidence because guess what? He had indeed become an artist.

Raja did his best to hide the sudden pang of disappointment he felt. He instantly regretted what he said about being okay with an artist in the family. But it was too late. He had already spoken the words, he couldn’t go back on that now. 

Oh that’s nice. Raja mumbled. What exactly was Kalakaar an artist of?

“Stealing,” replied the lad. 

Raja confessed that he wasn’t current on the goings on in the art world. What sort of art was “stealing”? Was it a visual art, like painting or drawing? Or a performing art? Involving music? or dance? or acting?

It was definitely a performing act. Kalakaar explained. It’s also a science to some degree. You see, you have got to find an object before the owner has lost it. It’s subtle, takes a lot of hard work and practice. And as a real test of your skills, the board of examiners require you to steal your diploma if you want to graduate. But I was too smart for them! I got a gold medal too. And as a personal souvenir, a paperweight from the Dean’s office, these pens, glasses, and wallets from my professors.

Raja didn’t know how to react. He remembered Kalakaar as a young boy who seemed to lack interest in everything. And now Kalakaar seemed to have discovered a passion. Did it have to be stealing? How would he explain to his guests at the next royal ball if the Kings and Queens present kept complaining about losing their necklaces, chariot keys, rings and such?

Raja would have to think of a strategy. But for now, he should reward his boy. Just because he had finished school. He was about to take a ring off his finger, when he realized he wasn’t wearing any more rings. It seemed odd to him until he realized that Kalakaar stood there grinning holding all of Raja’s remaining rings in his outstretched palm.

It was an ignoble profession, but the boy was certainly good at it. There was no denying it.

A test for the young Prince

Later that evening, Raja summoned Kalakaar to his bedroom and gave him an assignment.

He pointed to a bowl hanging from the ceiling and told Kalakaar that the crown jewels in the bowl were his assignment. Kalakaar needed to steal them before sunrise tomorrow. The catch was that he had to do it without waking up the King. The bowl was also filled to the brim with water. Even the slightest movement would cause a little bit of water to spill on the sleeping King. Raja may be sleeping but he was a light sleeper and he would react extremely quickly to even a single drop of water.

Maybe you’ve already guessed how Kalakaar did it. He dipped down from the ceiling, Mission Impossible style, and used a very long straw to siphon off the liquid bit by bit. It took a long while, but well before dawn Kalakaar had purloined not just the bowl full of the crown jewels, but also a few handkerchiefs, the king’s wallet, an umbrella, the king’s favorite pair of skis, and the King’s pet parrot.

A diplomatic mission to a neighboring Kingdom

Raja was impressed no doubt. But he was still trying to find a way to turn this liability into an asset. And then finally he got it. He had a job for Kalakaar after all. It was to steal a special horse from the neighboring Kingdom. What made the horse special was that it was white all over except the ears – which were completely black. Raja already had a black horse with white ears. He also had a horse with one black and one white left ear, but no horse exactly like the one owned by Padosi, the King of his neighboring Kingdom. At the last Royal ball, Padosi had pointed it out enough times to Raja.

So, Kalakaar would have to go steal it. Secretly, Raja was hoping that Kalakaar would get caught and hanged or something. Whatever that was Padosi’s problem to deal with. And even in the unlikely case that Kalakaar succeeded, hey – Raja would complete his horse collection! It was a win-win situation for him.

When Kalakaar said that he’d need at least a few weeks to execute that, Raja was enthusiastic about the prospect of having Kalakaar out of sight for so long, and tried to make it longer. You mustn’t hurry these things you know. Take a few months, or years even. Observe carefully from the bushes, and use your spy gear and all that sort of stuff. Find out the secret code to the stables and so on.

Kalakaar rolled his eyes at his father’s hopelessly outdated methods, mumbled “Okay Boomer” and departed on his quest

Horse whisperer

Kalakaar had one additional skill that his father was unaware of. The boy was an expert at taking care of horses! Guess what a happy coincidence it turned out to be.

Kalakaar was determined to rise through the ranks so as to not fire any suspicion. He observed that everyone in charge of the Horse in question was someone Padosi trusted. He couldn’t possibly just show up at the Stables and ask if he could have a job taking care of Padosi’s prized possession.

The Prince instead applied to be an assistant 3rd stable boy, understudying to the assistant 2nd stable boy for some horses in the King’s cavalry. That seems far removed from the horse that wanted to steal, but it was a sensible path. And ultimately it proved quick.

I won’t bore you with the politics of the stables, but let’s just say that some convenient events kept happening over the next few months that soon saw the 3rd assistant stable promoted to head assistant stable boy, and then stable undersecretary and then stable manager. For example, some lost items were recovered from the previous head assistant stable boy’s locker, and the previous stable manager’s recently departed relative was found to have an extra pot of gold which was to be passed on to the previous stable manager – meaning he didn’t need to work anymore.

And finally, one of King’s long-serving stable officers suddenly found the winning lottery ticket on his person, even though he thought he hadn’t actually bought it. When this stable officer retired naturally to live on his earnings, the choice of person to replace him was very clear. It would be Kalakaar who would replace him, of course.

The Princess’s exercise

All this while, Kalakaar really did a pretty solid job with the horses. He fed them, took care of them and so on. The princess of the land had this habit of riding a horse daily. And that horse was of course the one Kalakaar was after. Everyday, as she came by the stables, the Princess admired this handsome new stable officer. He looked so princely. Almost like one of the Princes she had seen at Nalanda University. She now had fallen hopelessly in love with Kalakaar.

In the dark of the night

But if Kalakaar noticed the Princess, he didn’t show it. He stayed laser focused on his mission. Which was to give everyone the impression that he wasn’t a horse thief. That was a deeply seated impression now, in everyone’s minds. Especially those of the palace guards.

One dark moonless night, Kalakaar suddenly arrived at the stable and proceeded to take the horse out. Naturally the security guards at the gate stopped him. To which, Kalakaar explained that the Princess had herself summoned the horse. She wanted to go on a ride. He added a perfectly well-rehearsed shrug as if to say “these royals and their whims and fancies! What are we to do?”. The guards eager to demonstrate that they had hobnobbed with the royals too, agreed and let him pass.

The King is happy and scared

The next day, Raja was happy when Kalakaar returned. His horse collection was finally full! But he worried what would happen to him. Padosi would find it suspicious that the same time that he lost his prized horse, Raja acquired one. 

A letter of apology, or an olive branch?

Finally, in consultation with his ministers, Raja decided to be completely honest with Padosi. He wrote a letter, confessing everything to Padosi. Raja said he was returning the horse and also Kalakaar if Padosi wanted to chop his head off or something.

All’s well that ends well

It was only after Raja got Padosi’s reply that Kalakaar’s father began seeing the boy in a new light. Padosi said sure, thanks for sending Kalakaar and the horse back, but you can keep them both. You see, my daughter, Rajkumari has fallen hopelessly in love with Kalakaar. And since you sent me back my stable officer who stole her heart, and the horse that she loves, it’s best you keep all three of them going forward. Rajkumari and Kalakaar will be married and arrive back in your kingdom with the horse tomorrow.

Raja felt proud. His son had done a solid job. He truly was an artist at stealing people’s hearts. And now thanks to him, Raja had made a strong alliance with the much more powerful Padosi.

But most importantly, Raja’s horse collection was now complete. The King did debate a bit about what to take on next? Maybe NFTs of images of himself as a superhero perhaps?

That’s all for now

Some notes on the show

As is traditional on the show, the names of the characters reflect the roles they play. Raja means King. Padosi means neighbor. Gyaani is scholarly, Nidar is fearless. And Kalakaar is an artist, because this pilfering prince did indeed perfect the art of stealing.

As for the moral of the story, there isn’t one. Raja acts with questionable motives in trying to send his son into trouble. Kalakaar probably destroys some promising stable careers for other stable boys in his meteoric rise to the top.

That’s all for now. 

Next Time

In the next episode, we’ll do another folk tale. This one is about a potter who decides to escape death. Maybe he felt a little inspired by Savitri’s story, and by Nachiketa’s. But if he thought the outcome would be identical – you might be a little mistaken.