Akbar-Birbal – Mirror, Mirror – {Ep.223} – Stories From India – Podcast

Today we’re covering a couple of Akbar-Birbal stories including one about a very picky customer. And another about a question and an order from Akbar that had the potential to plunge the entire country into turmoil.

Welcome to “Stories From India”. This is a podcast that will take you on a journey through the rich mythology, folklore and history of the Indian subcontinent. I am Narada Muni, the celestial storyteller and the original “time lord”. With my ability to travel through space and time, I can bring you fascinating stories from the past, the present, and the future. From the epic tales of the Mahabharata and Ramayana to the folktales of the Panchatantra to stories of Akbar-Birbal and Tenali Raman, I have a story for every occasion.

The purpose of the stories is neither to pass judgment nor to indoctrinate. My goal is only to share these stories with people who may not have heard them before and to make them more entertaining for those who have.

Today’s Story

In this episode, we’re doing a couple of Akbar-Birbal stories. We’ve done a few Akbar Birbal episodes before but you need not have heard any of them. Because each of these episodes stands alone.

All you need is a bit of background, which I’ll provide, right now.

Emperor Akbar, and his minister Birbal were real characters from History. Their stories are set almost 500 years ago, when Akbar ruled most of India. Birbal was his minister and military commander. But he commanded the Emperor’s attention more than commanding the military, if these stories are to be believed. 

He was the intellectual guru in Akbar’s court – the only one who could answer any question put to him, the only one who could solve any mystery, and the only one who could solve any hard problem.

What faced Akbar this morning was a hard problem, a mystery and a question rolled into one. “Birbal, why on Earth am I wearing jester shoes?”

Birbal coolly replied. “You are not, your highness. Perhaps you are referring to your appearance in your new painting. Those aren’t jester shoes. They are called Mojari. They’re all the rage, your highness. The painter took a bit of artistic liberty and portrayed you in shoes that are definitely going to become the latest fashion all over the Kingdom.”

“Look Birbal, I’m all for supporting the arts and all that, but why did he need to make the toes so pointy and curled up? It looks like I nicked those shoes from the wicked witch of the west. And why did he write the word “Bata” on the side of the shoes? Is that the painter’s signature or something?”

“No, your highness. It’s the name of the shoe manufacturer.”

“You know Birbal, that rings a bell. Isn’t there a chap called Jamsetji Bata or someone similar? If I recall he did a lot of … something or the other”

“Yes your highness, besides founding the Bata shoe company, he is also the founder of the Bata school of painting”

“Well, well. Can’t fault this painter for product placement. I’m all for promoting commerce in the country. Let people buy these frightful shoes if that helps the shoe industry. But tell me Birbal, how did you select this remarkable painter?”

“He is, as you said, a remarkable painter, your majesty. I had the pleasure of meeting him just last week thanks to the little matter that you asked me to look into”

Put like that, a naturally curious mind like Akbar’s wanted details. And Birbal readily supplied them.

The case had appeared before Birbal when Akbar’s judiciary had given up on trying to solve it themselves. Supreme courts in these modern days have no higher authority to appeal to. They have to pass judgment on every case brought to them. But in Akbar’s time, the courts themselves had the option to redirect their toughest problems to Birbal when they were stuck.

Birbal explained to Akbar that the case was between an unsatisfied customer and a service provider. There was a merchant in town called Dhoorth. Dhoorth had quite a bit of a reputation. Simply put, he was a conman. He was rumored to be rich, and maybe it was partially true. But it was an undisputed fact known to his banks and creditors that he never paid any of his bills. And whenever they challenged him to pay up, Dhoorth’s lawyers disputed every charge over and over to the point where his creditors simply gave up. Rumor had it Dhoorth was considering running for president in a foreign land somewhere where there seemed to be a great demand for unscrupulous businessmen like him. 

Anyway one morning, Dhoorth had showed up at the studio of this painter. The painter, whose name was Chitrakar, was fairly new to town. But he had already built a bit of a reputation for himself. A reputation for excellence and honesty. Just the kind that Dhoorth was looking to swindle. 

Dhoorth asked for a painting of himself. Apparently if he had to apply for president of a foreign land, first, he needed a painting of himself for the campaign posters.

Chitrakar readily agreed to create a portrait. Did Dhoorth want to look at Chitrakar’s portfolio first? He had a painting of Humayun playing an elephant like an accordion, and another of Babur arm wrestling with a lion. And if Dhoorth wanted to see something even more wild and imaginary, there was a painting of an ivory-white marble mausoleum right here in Agra, just by the banks of the Yamuna. Chitrakar was rather proud of it.

Dhoorth seemed impressed by all these – he would have settled for a mediocre artist, but Chitrakar was clearly a genius. So Dhoorth gave the go ahead. Chitrakar should have become suspicious when Dhoorth didn’t pay any attention to the artist’s prices. But maybe the artist believed the rumor about the merchant being so rich that he could easily afford Chitrakar’s fees. 

The second red flag that the painter ignored was the extra clause that Dhoorth insisted on adding to their contract. It seemed innocuous enough for Dhoorth to want the painting to exactly match his face. Chitrakar was comfortable with that. He was an expert at ultra-realistic paintings, so he’d have no problems.

In just one sitting, Chitrakar had captured Dhoorth’s likeness. It was a fantastic effort, his very best! And it looked perfect! When Chitrakar’s housekeeper came in the next morning, she even greeted the painting with a “Good morning Mr. Dhoorth. I didn’t know you were here so early”

Everyone who saw it marveled at how picture perfect it was. Everyone except Dhoorth. 

When he came to inspect the painting he brought along a magnifying glass.
It took him a long time to examine the painting, but then Dhoorth finally said. “You’ve failed. I’m not paying you one paisa for this”.

Chitrakar was shocked, and he refused to accept that the painting had any defects – that is until Dhoorth pointed out that there was a small mole on his right cheek that was missing from the painting.

Chitrakar offered to add it, but Dhoorth refused. The merchant said that if Chitrakar really wanted to make it up to him, he should make a brand new painting. And this time it had better match his features exactly. As for the one he had already painted – it was worthless now. But not to worry – Dhoorth would do Chitrakar a big favor and take the painting and get rid of it for him. At his home, he had extra large trash cans that the painting would fit in. Or so he claimed.

Chitrakar agreed to make another painting. He was early enough in his career that a bad review from the prominent businessman might ruin him. 

So Chitrakar got to work again. And this time he was careful to replicate every bit of Dhoorth’s features. 

Again, when Dhoorth examined this second painting a few days later, he shook his head. Yes he went over the painting with a magnifying glass again and this time the mole was perfectly in order. But in the painting Dhoorth did not have a mustache.

Chitrakar protested. “But…but… you grew that mustache after I painted this”

“That’s not going to work, Chitrakar. You promised a painting that would exactly match how I look. This one is a failure too”

This time as well, Dhoorth offered to take this failed painting and trash it in his own home instead of Chitrakar having to wait for an extra large trash can. But Chitrakar had had enough. The amount of time he was spending on Dhoorth’s commissions meant that he wasn’t painting anything else. And Dhoorth hadn’t paid him anything so far, so Chitrakar wasn’t earning any money at all. He couldn’t continue like this.

Dhoorth and Chitrakar’s dispute landed in court. The judge looked over the contract. And he couldn’t come to a conclusion. On the one hand, the contract clearly said that the painting needed to match Dhoorth’s face. On the other hand, it was unreasonable for the contract to be interpreted in exactly this way. 

The fact that made the issue especially thorny was that Dhoorth was a prominent businessman. That didn’t mean he was above the law, but he came pretty close to it. So, the judge passed the case to his superior. Who, in turn, passed it onto the supreme court. Until the buck finally stopped with Birbal.

Birbal carefully examined the contract between the painter and the merchant, and then spoke.

“You’re right, Dhoorth. You are entitled to artwork that accurately shows your features. And Chitrakar needs to provide it, or he will not get paid. Come back tomorrow to my office, both of you. If Chitrakar doesn’t give Dhoorth his artwork at that time, Dhoorth is entitled to receive compensation for damages”

Chitrakar felt defeated hearing this. Birbal had been his last hope. Chitrakar’s meager savings were almost gone. And now he would forever be in debt. And given the outcome of this case, he would never get another commission.

But, after Dhoorth left, Birbal gave Chitrakar a small suggestion. Instantly, Chitrakar’s gloomy mood did a complete U-turn! He happily went home, skipping. But first he went to the department store to buy something.

The next morning, Dhoorth was on top of the world as he walked into Birbal’s office. He had already gotten two fine paintings for free. And now he was about to get paid as well. He should write a book about this! He could call it “The Art of the Deal”, oh wait… “The Art of the Steal” might be better. Or maybe “The Steal of the Art”?

He was still thinking about this, when he was suddenly surprised to see a big smile on Chitrakar’s face. Surely, the painter wasn’t happy about having to pay compensation? Or maybe he had gone mad. But no. Chitrakar actually had something ready. It was the size of a large painting and it was nicely gift-wrapped. Dhoorth opened the wrapper and discovered that it wasn’t a painting. He was staring at himself. In a mirror.

Akbar laughed out loud as Birbal concluded his tale. “That’s teaching him alright. You know Birbal, I’ve never really liked Dhoorth. He’s always in the news for one controversy or another. But hadn’t you used a similar mirror idea some other time? It seems familiar to me”

“Yes, your highness,” Birbal replied. “That was the time the owner of the sweet store was suing a poor and innocent farmer for eating up all the sweets in his shop, even though it had just been in the farmer’s dream”

“I remember now,” Akbar said. “Very silly of the farmer to go around telling everyone about the dream”

“Exactly, your highness. The sweet owner wanted the farmer to pay him a hundred gold coins, even though the farmer hadn’t had a single sweet from the store. So I helped resolve that situation. I showed the store owner the Gold coins in a mirror and asked him to take them out of the mirror”

“You are very clever indeed Birbal” the Emperor said. “But I do have a question that I’m not sure you can answer.”

Birbal humbly admitted that there were many questions he could not answer.

“I know, I know” acknowledged Akbar, “but I haven’t found one. Until now. I want you to tell me who is the most loyal and the most disloyal creature of all”

Birbal said he needed to think about it. That was true. He didn’t have an answer ready. Which was unusual for Birbal.

Birbal kept thinking about this for a long time. At home and over dinner, his daughter could sense that her father was in a bit of a pickle, figuratively speaking.

After dinner there was a frank father-daughter conversation. Birbal’s daughter, Chatur, could sense that something was troubling him. Birbal finally admitted what was on his mind. It was a good thing he shared his thoughts because Chatur had an idea. The answers to both questions were right there in their home.

The next day Birbal appeared before the Emperor, and he took along with him – his dog and with his son-in-law.

“Explain yourself Birbal,” Akbar commanded.

“Certainly your majesty. This dog is the most loyal creature on earth. I could curse him, ill-treat him,…”

“You’d better not be thinking of doing that Birbal” the emperor interrupted. “I know Tenali Raman ill-treated his dog, and I know that there are some eerie similarities between you and him. But don’t under any circumstances harm a poor innocent creature like that”

“I’m not going to do that, your highness. And certainly not to this dog. I was merely illustrating that no matter the harm anyone commits to their dog, the dog stays loyal to them. It still comes back to its owner for food and attention, and protects them from strangers. This is unconditional loyalty and you won’t find anything better in anyone”

“Okay, that makes sense. And what about your son-in-law?” the emperor asked.

“A son-in-law is the most disloyal creature, your highness. Take mine for example. I’ve sheltered him under my roof. He’s completely dependent on me for sustenance, and yet he’s the most ungrateful person I’ve met”

Birbal’s son in law was a little upset at hearing this. “My dear father-in-law, I hope you do realize I’m right here listening to every word you’re saying”

Akbar was the one who spoke. “You’re right Birbal, he is disloyal. Guards arrest Birbal’s son-in-law and execute him”

The executioner was in court. He often just sat on the sidelines, bored because no one said a thing about execution. He had hoped to execute either Dhoorth or Chitrakar last week, but pity that the case ended peacefully. And now hearing Akbar’s words, he suddenly perked up his ears. And he began doing mental calculations on precisely what size ax might fit Birbal’s son-in-law. He wanted to get it exactly right. Customer satisfaction was his priority, and he took it very seriously!

The Emperor’s reaction wasn’t the one Birbal hoped for, but it was the reaction he was nonetheless prepared for. 

“Wait your highness. My son-in-law is just an example, in just the way that my dog is an example of a more abstract concept”

The executioner’s hopes which had risen dramatically, fell now, just as dramatically. He wouldn’t get to execute this man after all. This job was getting boring now without any excitement. Maybe he should move to Europe. The winters were harsh, but there was a lot of demand for executioners there.

Akbar thought for a moment and said “In that case, Birbal, we should execute every son-in-law in this country. Not just your son-in-law. I’ll ask my Minister for Population Records to draw up a list.”

The executioner’s spirits shot up again. He had expected one execution and now was going to get millions perhaps! What a lucky day!

Birbal nodded in response to Akbar’s suggestion. “Your highness, we don’t need to go so far as the Minister for Population Records. We should start with the son-in-laws in this room right now. You and me”.

At this remark the executioner realized that he had celebrated too soon. He was as much a son-in-law himself, as was Birbal and as was the Emperor himself.

Akbar had placed himself in a rather tricky situation. The court journalists were all staring at him in shock. They had correctly interpreted that Akbar had been serious about executing everyone. There was only one way to do damage control here. Leave it to Birbal.

So Akbar laughed out loud, praised Birbal for his wit and quickly exited the court. Birbal could spin this any way he pleased. The Emperor had been joking, or maybe testing Birbal. Didn’t matter what he came up with, but whatever he did it would be the perfect solution.

That’s all for now

Some notes on the show

In keeping with the tradition of this show the names of the characters are derived from the roles they play. Dhoorth means crafty. Chitrakar means painter. Birbal’s daughter didn’t actually exist, according to some historians. Or if she did, her name wasn’t known to them. So I’ve taken the liberty of calling her Chatur, which means clever.

The story about the sweet shop owner trying to charge a customer for a dream they had – was a separate story by itself.

The third story is linked to the first two in the use of a mirror. Birbal used a real mirror in the first two stories. But in the third one, Birbal’s did the equivalent of holding up a virtual mirror to Akbar’s face, when he made the Emperor realize that he was himself a son-in-law.

That’s all for now. 

Next Time

In the next episode, we’ll continue the story of Chandrakanta

Feedback

Thank you all for the comments on Social Media and on Spotify’s Q&A! I can’t directly reply to the questions there, but I’ll address them here on this show.

Thank you for the lovely comments.
Thank you Stweetie for the comments. Yes there are many episodes to choose from. You can select them by category on the website sfipodcast.com if there are certain stories that you want to prioritize listening to.

Neelima, I just did a Ramayana episode recently. I’ll be doing another soon enough. But I do have a long backlog of requests to get through, including the Mahabharata, Jataka Tales, Rana Kumbha, Chandrakanta, a bunch of regional folk tales, and even a story about myself that someone requested.

Aman, I’m really glad to hear that the stories are a comfort to you on your ship. I’m happy to keep bringing more stories and I’d also love to hear if there are any stories you’re particularly looking forward to.

Ankur, the Rana Kumbha episode is in the works, but I’ll get it to it soon.

Aarush, that’s a really great idea about doing a story about the Indus Valley Civilization. I’ll work on it and hopefully have it out in the next few weeks.

Moshroom, you asked a very interesting question. Who created the holy trinity – Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva? Did Brahma do it because he’s the creator? Or did Vishnu? Or Shiva? The answer is that it’s complicated. There are several variations of answers. There are many variations of stories where one of the trinity created the other two. The reality as we saw in Episode 46 is that we live in a multiverse. So all of these versions are correct in one version of the Universe or another.

If you have any other comments or suggestions or if there are particular stories you’d like to hear, please do let me know by leaving a comment or a review on the site sfipodcast.com, or tweet @sfipodcast, or reply to the questions on Spotify Q&A. You can also find me on Instagram and Facebook.

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A big thank you to each of you for your continued support and your feedback.

The music is from Purple Planet.

Thanks for listening and I’ll see you next time!