In this episode, we’re doing a folk tale from the state of Punjab. This one has some magical elements – a talking tiger, a magic box with a genie substitute, a princess abduction, and a shapeshifting monster!
Our story begins with a poor boy Kumar and his mother, Bhagya. They lived at the edge of town. Let me explain why they were poor. Bhagya was recently widowed. Her husband was a soldier in the King’s army. Despite his very dangerous profession, he did not really have life insurance or any kind of a retirement plan or pension. Kumar and Bhagya were down to their last pennies. They had nothing to live on.
“Kumar, get up and go find some work, you are the breadwinner now,” Bhagya said for the hundredth time.
“But I already looked at all the contests and lotteries, no one’s offering bread instead of prize money” grumbled Kumar.
He ducked swiftly as Bhagya threw something at him.
“Alright, alright, I’ll go. At least get me some seed capital. How can I go out into the world with nothing at all?”
So they rifled through her husband’s belongings. Bhagya’s luck kicked in right away. They found 6 paise! Not enough to create the next tech unicorn, but better than nothing.
Kumar took 4 paise and started off towards town. There was no work for him there, unfortunately. He had built quite the reputation for laziness and no one wanted to offer him employment. He decided to try his luck in a neighboring town.
His way there was through a forest. Unlike modern Indian forests, this one actually had tigers in it. Within minutes of entering the forest, he heard a howl. It was almost as if it came from a tigress in pain because she had a thorn stuck in her paw.
A sensible person would move away from the noise, but Kumar went closer. He had diagnosed the situation correctly. It was a tigress in a cave, crying with pain because a big thorn was stuck in her paw. He still didn’t walk away.
As he approached the tigress, she didn’t just attack him. Instead, she spoke, “Innocent passerby, can you help me please?”
Not at all shocked that a Tigress had just spoken a human language, Kumar got right into the negotiating bit. “I could, but what would I get in return?”
“How about I serve you for dinner?”
“I mean I could serve you dinner.” she quickly added seeing the horror on his face.
“Not good enough. Now if you could give me something that allows me to never ever have to work again, that’d be perfect”
“Yeah, like I said I could serve you for dinner. You’d never ever have to work. Or live. Or breathe again”
But then seeing his expression she relented. “Alright, alright. I’ll give you riches and I promise not to harm you”
The Tigress’s word was good enough for Kumar. And he promptly pulled out the thorn. She was relieved. She would have hugged Kumar if he hadn’t been terrified by her attempt to do so.
The Tigress gave him a box. A very old and dirty-looking box.
“How can you keep a box like that? You can’t use it, without opposable thumbs”
“Never mind that,” said the Tigress. “The story does not explain that. Anyway, this box is going to change your life. All you have to do is carry it for 9 kilometers before opening it”.
Kumar was definitely disappointed. He didn’t think this box would change anything. Walking away 9 kilometers indeed! He’d be so far away that it wouldn’t be worth his time to come back and argue for a replacement. Probably what was inside was a very vague piece of advice like the kind you see in a fortune cookie.
But he didn’t think it would be wise to argue with an apex predator who would probably jump at the opportunity to gobble him up if he gave her the chance.
But he did decide to get mini revenge if he could. He wrote something on a piece of paper and asked her not to open it for 9 hours. It said “You could have removed the thorn yourself with your mouth. Also, you smell terrible. Take a bath!”
The Tigress accepted the note and promised not to open it right away.
Kumar thanked her, picked up the box, and started walking away. He was carefully tracking the distance. As he kept walking, he got more and more frustrated with the situation. He was sure the box was useless. And he could almost swear it had been getting heavier. It was a tiny box, no longer than a foot but it seemed to weigh a ton. And it had been getting heavier and heavier.
Finally, Kumar couldn’t stand it anymore. Just shy of the 9-kilometer mark, he angrily tossed the box down on the ground. The box broke open and out of it stepped the strangest person Kumar had ever seen. It was a person about a foot tall. Oddly he resembled a bee. He had little wings very hard to see. He even buzzed like one. One major difference from a bee was that he had a beard that was a foot and a half long. Bees usually don’t have beards longer than themselves.
He introduced himself with an insult. “Couldn’t have walked a few more steps could you? You interrupted the program when it was loading. Now I’m all you get. Which is still a lot more than you deserve. Call me Buzz”
“Buzz Lightyear?” asked Kumar, remembering his favorite movie
“Don’t compare me to that commercial toy thing from that evil corporation, you ungrateful boy! Bee-hive yourself”
When Kumar didn’t laugh, he added “Get it? I said Bee-hive yourself instead of Behave yourself. Because I’m a bee. Oh never mind you’re just not in the mood”
“Darn right I’m not in the mood” replied Kumar. I’ve been carrying you for so long. “I’m tired and I’m hungry. Say… could you fetch me some food? Here’s 4 paise”
Buzz had to. It was an order and he had to obey. He took the 4 paise and zoomed off in the direction of town. Buzz was so fast, within a second or two he was in town at the sweet shop.
He ordered Honey. Lots of Honey.
The store owner had a bit of a hard time transacting with someone whom they could not even see over the counter. He was skeptical – both of whether Buzz could carry the honeypots and whether he had the money to pay for them. Buzz showed the store owner his money and assured him that as for carrying the pots why did it matter? For all the store owner knew, maybe Buzz had a UHaul packed around the corner.
The moment Buzz picked up the pots though, he, well, buzzed off with the pots and the money.
Kumar tried some of the honey, but as you can imagine he was sick of eating just honey. And of course, Buzz was more than happy to drink all the honeypots clean.
“Let’s go over there to the Kingdom’s capital and try our luck,” said Kumar
“You’re the big boss. But if we’re going to the capital, I want to look presentable and style my beard. Do you have a honeycomb?” He burst out laughing at his own joke. “Get it? Honeycomb to comb my beard”
Kumar sighed. Hopefully, he would get his riches soon, and then he wouldn’t have to endure these bad puns for much longer.
They reached the capital very quickly. Thanks to Buzz, who had no trouble running fast even when carrying Kumar.
At the capital, just as they reached Kumar happened to see the princess making her way into the palace. This was Princess Pushpa. It was said that she weighed no more and no less than 5 flowers.
“Wow, she must need a safety harness everywhere she goes,” said Buzz. “Otherwise she’ll just float away in any gust of wind”
Kumar didn’t respond. He was looking dreamy-eyed in the direction the Princess had gone in.
“Buzz, do you know what love at first sight is?” he asked
“Of course I do!” replied Buzz. “It was like that with me and my one and true love”
This got Kumar’s attention – “Buzz, your true love? Tell me more!” he said
“Her voice is like Honey. She’s…. Bee-yonce” and then Buzz burst out laughing. “Get it? A voice like Honey? Bee-yonce?”
Kumar rolled his eyes. And then he decided to use his command. He felt he had no choice. The princess wouldn’t even give him an audience, he thought. He couldn’t file a petition and wait years. He needed to take action right away.
“Buzz, I want you to bring me the Princess Pushpa. Tonight.”
“That’s not how courtship works.” Said Buzz. “It’s unethical to make me do this dirty work”
“It’s a command,” said Kumar
“Alright, I’m forced to, so I will. But the moment the Princess expresses the slightest discomfort, I’ll return her to the palace” said Buzz.
And that night, Buzz did bring the Princess over. Given how lightweight she was and how fast Buzz moved, Buzz thought it would be better to carry her bed with her in it. The bed added some weight and reduced the risk of her being blown away.
He deposited the bed outside the city, where Kumar was waiting. The two patiently waited for Pushpa to wake up.
When she did, Buzz gave her the rundown. “Alright Princess, here’s the deal. I’m the guy who transported your bed here at the command of that guy because I took pity on him. But I’m really on your side. All you have to do is to give me a warning, any warning and I’ll return you back to your palace. And don’t be afraid of him. A fool with a bee is no more dangerous than bee-ing with a fool”. Again Buzz burst out laughing at his own joke.
“Bee puns really sting,” said Kumar to Pushpa, by way of introduction. And that got Pushpa laughing. She seemed glad to have met Kumar. Buzz was glad he didn’t have to intervene.
After Kumar and Pushpa got to know each other better, they decided they would go travel the world, have some adventures together.
But Kumar and Pushpa both thought that “Two is company and Bee is a crowd”. So they asked Buzz to well, buzz off.
“If you wish” he replied. Then he pulled out a hair from his beard and said “keep this with you. If you’re in trouble, burn this hair and I’ll bee right with you. This is a Free-bee. Just because I like you”
“What are you going to do?” asked Pushpa as Buzz prepared to depart.
“I’ve decided I’ll get together with Bee-yonce again. We’ll form a band. Maybe we’ll call it the Bee Gees. Well goodbye! Have a great honeymoon. May the swarm bee with you”
He went off and the new couple went on their way as well.
Pretty soon though, the couple got into trouble. The kind of deep trouble where they did not even realize they were in trouble.
Their enthusiasm for adventure quickly faded when they walked for a long time and were soon hungry and tired. I guess they had expected to be shuttled from one major attraction to another, and so far all they had seen was….
“Trees, grass, rocks. That’s all I have seen. I’m hungry. I’m tired. I call this trouble. Let’s call Buzz”
“Give Buzz a buzz, you mean?” asked Kumar
But before she could retort a voice broke in. “Are you in trouble? Can I help?”
It was what looked like a kindly old gentleman.
“Yes, if it’s not too much trouble. We’re tired and hungry and thirsty”
“Come home. I’ll be more than glad to have you for lunch”
“Have you over for lunch you mean” began Pushpa, but Kumar shushed her not wanting the old gentleman to take offense.
He introduced himself as Danav and took them home.
“Why don’t you get started chopping vegetables, I’ll collect firewood” he suggested.
That was fine for the new couple. It was a bit odd though when he handed them a big bunch of keys and said here are the keys to the pantry and to all the shelves in the cupboard. Whatever you do though, don’t open the golden shelf with the golden key”
Not at all wondering why anyone would bother to keep their vegetables and pots and pans under lock and key the couple happily explored everything.
The cutlery was solid good. That made sense why it was locked. But locking vegetables was weird. Pushpa had a nagging suspicion. She took the golden key and over Kumar’s objections opened the golden shelf. In it, she was horrified to find bones. Human bones.
Danav was a demon. And he was planning on eating them!
She quickly took the hair and set it on fire in the kitchen. I guess there was a little bit of a fire already burning. So it’s not totally inconsistent with Danav’s need to fetch firewood.
Danav burst in and saw the open golden shelf. He shifted out of his guise and into his normal self – a giant demon with sharp fangs and an evil grin on his face. He was about to grab Kumar and Pushpa when the door burst open again. It was Buzz who had made it back.
Seeing Buzz and knowing right away what a formidable opponent this was going to be, Danav shape-shifted into a bird. Specifically, a bee-eater.
He was going to grab Buzz in his beak, but Buzz could shapeshift too. He became a giant hawk. Danav turned tail and flew off, with Buzz in hot pursuit. They rocketed off into the sky until they got near heaven. Where Indra the King of the Devs, was enjoying a concert by yours truly!
Yup, I make an appearance in this story. In case you haven’t realized it by now I’m a pretty popular kinda guy. And I’m a really good veena player.
Danav quickly transformed into a rose and fell on Indra’s lap.
Buzz did not dare grab Danav from where he lay. He did not stand a chance if Indra took offense.
So Buzz transformed instead into a drummer. I was still playing my veena, belting out a pretty complicated tune, and mid-song Buzz joined in with the drums. He was an amazing drummer.
His musical career seemed very promising indeed. No wonder he’d wanted to form the Bee Gees with Bee-yonce.
When the concert was over to thunderous applause, Indra had to offer something to this newbie who seemed to be magical with drums. He offered gold, silver, and magical stuff. But all Buzz wanted was the rose that lay in Indra’s lap.
The moment Indra handed it over, Buzz began shredding all the petals on it. The final petal however fell down and transformed into a mouse and attempted to scurry away. I say attempted to because Buzz had transformed into a cat and pounced quickly on the mouse. He gobbled up the mouse and that was the end of Danav.
Buzz bid farewell to his new fans in heaven, promising to return for another concert in the future.
He flew right back down to Danav’s home where Pushpa and Kumar were waiting.
The couple had had enough adventures. They decided that the right thing to do was to go back to Kumar’s home. To check in on his mom, who all this time was struggling to survive on the 2 paise she had left.
They did take with them Danav’s treasury. So that covered it all. They did move to a bigger home. They had a big house swarming party where they had invited Buzz.
As for Buzz, he did become a big success in the musical world. For him, it was always meant to bee. He lives in America now, and he has become a USB.
We might do a concert together sometime. I’ll probably do a contest and free ticket giveaway on the show. May-bee.
That’s all for now
Some notes on the show
As usual, I’ve picked Hindi names based on what the characters do. Kumar means boy or youth. Bhagya is luck. She’s lucky, though admittedly her luck only kicks in after Kumar and Pushpa return. Pushpa means flower. Which goes well with her frequent description in the original folk tale of how she weighed exactly 5 flowers. And Danav means Demon.
Now, parts of this tale may remind you of Aladdin and the Magic Lamp from the Tales of the Arabian Nights, and the medieval European fairy tale Puss in Boots.
In truth, the story is closer to “The Tinder Box” by Hans Christian Anderson than Aladdin’s story.
But obviously, that does not mean one originated from the other.
Kumar opened the box just short of carrying it for 9 kilometers. Very much like Orpheus – the character from Greek Mythology. It’s not clear what would have happened if he had fully followed the tigress’s instructions. Maybe he would have received a full-fledged Genie instead. We’ll never know.
That’s all for now.
Next Time
In the next episode, we’ll do a couple of Akbar and Birbal stories again. We’ll see how Birbal tricks a trickster, and how he cleverly answers tricky questions.