Vikram-Betaal – Stealing Hearts and Jewels – {Ep.233} – Stories From India – Podcast

Today’s story is a Vikram-Betaal one featuring a tricky situation, a love triangle, a ruthless bandit, and a puzzle as usual. Will Vikramaditya solve it this time?

Welcome to “Stories From India”. This is a podcast that will take you on a journey through the rich mythology, folklore and history of the Indian subcontinent. I am Narada Muni, the celestial storyteller and the original “time lord”. With my ability to travel through space and time, I can bring you fascinating stories from the past, the present, and the future. From the epic tales of the Mahabharata and Ramayana to the folktales of the Panchatantra to stories of Akbar-Birbal and Tenali Raman, I have a story for every occasion.

The purpose of the stories is neither to pass judgment nor to indoctrinate. My goal is only to share these stories with people who may not have heard them before and to make them more entertaining for those who have.

Today’s Story

In this episode, we’re back into the world of Vikram and Betaal.

We have covered many Vikram and Betaal stories on this show and we’ve also covered some of the Singhasan Battisi – which has a similar structure. You can find the links to all of these in the show notes. If you haven’t heard any of those, that is totally fine. Because these stories can be heard standalone. The only context you need is the framing narrative. I’ll give you a quick summary of that now.

Raja Vikramaditya, or Vik as I shall call him, was a well known and well respected King. His people appreciated him, by giving him gifts, on top of the taxes they already paid. One of those gift givers was a Rishi, or a wise man. The Rishi gave Vik a mango everyday. Vik didn’t really think much of it until one day when he accidentally discovered that each of those mangoes contained a massive and valuable gem inside. Naturally, Vik felt obligated to pay the Rishi back for exponentially increasing the Kingdom’s wealth. And that’s exactly what the Rishi wanted. He explained to Vik that he needed Vik’s help to complete a very special prayer. The only missing ingredient was a Betaal.

In case you haven’t heard the term before – a Betaal is a reanimated corpse. Some early members of the British Raj incorrectly and clumsily equated Betaals with Vampires. You might say the term Zombie is closer, except that Betaals could also talk lucidly and could fly, and didn’t need sustenance, brains or otherwise. Betaals mostly were in the habit of hanging out in Peepal trees, by hanging down from them – like a bat. The Rishi wanted Vik to go Betaal-shopping in the cemetery, which had several Peepal trees, with several Betaals ripe for the plucking. 

The Rishi did not explain why, but Vik had to go fetch the Betaal strictly in the middle of the night, and he had to go all alone. Well, Vik hadn’t become King by being a coward, so he accepted the Rishi’s conditions.

Vik climbed the tree, and grabbed the Betaal easily enough. When he was making his way back to the Rishi, the Betaal told him a story. It was a story that had a question in the end. A question that Vik could not resist answering. The only problem was that when Vik opened his mouth to speak, Betaal was able to escape and fly away. This happened over and over. It may seem like Vik wasn’t learning from experience and wasn’t keeping his mouth shut. But it wasn’t just him. The Betaal wasn’t learning either, because he kept going back to exactly the same spot as before. This happened 25 times – the Betaal told him 25 stories and always with the same outcome. Except for the last story, but we’re not there yet.

This story begins the same way as the others. With Vik walking across the cemetery with the Betaal on his back. The Betaal went straight away into the story, they were both used to the routine by now. They had no need for any ice breakers.

“There was a Kingdom once,” the Betaal began.
There always is, Vik thought to himself. Not surprising considering the century we live in, there aren’t any other established forms of government. But he was careful not to say anything out loud. Otherwise the Betaal would just escape again.

In this kingdom, there was a man. Let’s call him Somadatta. Somadatta was in the family business – which was to sell groceries in town. They owned and managed Kirana Bazaar and Deliveries. Perhaps, Vik, you’ve seen some of their posters? “Groceries dashed to your door”

Vik had seen one of those posters inside his own palace. Being the King, he obviously didn’t need to worry about mundane things like groceries. But the Kirana Bazaar sales rep had talked him into it – the palace got a lot of foot traffic, so it was the perfect advertising place the smooth talking salesman had said. 

The Betaal tapped him on the shoulder. It seemed to him that Vik was meandering off into a tangent, could he please pay attention to the story here?

Anyway, Somadatta was well-to-do obviously. His riches meant he was in want of nothing. In fact the only thing he didn’t have was companionship. He was in his early twenties, and he had not yet married. This was surprising only because he lived in an era where at his age, people were expected to have a well established family. And the larger the family, the greater the amount of respect you earned. If he had cornered any of his former schoolmates and rattled off the list of his achievements, his building, property, bank balance, bungla, gaadi, maa, and asked them “kya hai tumhare paas”, any of those former school chums would have simply answered “mere paas biwi hai.”

But remember the golden rule – the one who has the gold breaks all the rules. So Somadatta got a little coaching and got right back into the search for a wife. And right away, he found the perfect candidate! She was one of his customers and at least on Somadatta’s part it was love at first sight!

He found out who she was. Her name was Chandrasena and she was a librarian. The next step was to obviously express his feelings. So he wrote her a letter. It goes to show how much he was immersed in his profession that the letter went something like this:

Dear Chandrasena, 

I’m nuts about you. You are one in a melon, and the apple of my eye. You’ve got a pizza my heart. 

If you were a vegetable you’d be a cutecumber. I love you berry much from my head to-ma-toes

Don’t you think you and I will make the perfect pear?

My heart will always beet for you.

Fruitfully yours,

Somadatta

Chandrasena’s response was a lot quicker than Somadatta expected. She was a librarian, and yet she wasn’t following the strict 2 week return policy.

Dear Somadatta,

Dewey belong together? Oh how I wish we did!

But I am already overbooked, and out of circulation. I was bound to be checked out. I am engaged to Jaykarna. He came into my library and asked me if I had any books on wedding proposals, and I said yes!

My head tells me not to overdue it and to simply turn the page on this chapter, but I just can’t help my shelf! I’m going to follow my heart and come to you tonight. I’ll just have to do it in a way that doesn’t create panic here. 

Bye, now I have to go to the altar, the Pundit, and Jaykarn, and all the wedding guests are waiting for me down there. I can’t simply put them on hold.

Please keep quiet. About us.

Bookishly Yours,

Chandrasena

P.S. you have two overdue books that you should return immediately to avoid a fine.

Somadatta wasn’t sure if she was joking. Not about the overdue books, but about getting married. He had never known a librarian to joke about anything, so the odds were against.

And his instincts were spot on. As Somadatta found out later that day, when as a guest at a wedding he discovered with a shock that it was Chandrasena and Jayakarna’s.

The grocer observed that the wedding went okay, but it was the reception that really took the cake. It was an emotional moment for Somadatta, and not because the cake was in tiers.

The father of the bride proposed a toast to the lovely bride and groom, for butter or worse.

Later that evening, the newlyweds were finally alone together. Chandrasena told Jaykarna she had something very important to tell him. Then she spilled the beans.

“Why did you spill these beans?” her husband asked. “Here, help me pick them up”

While helping him pick up the literal physical beans she had spilled, Chandrasena explained that her heart was already checked out to Somadatta.

There were many different ways Jayakarna could have reacted. So Chandrasena was getting cold feet. Her feet were certainly cooler than groom temperature. Jayakarna was numb. He merely told her she should go be with Somadatta instead.

Chandrasena was so delighted to hear these words, she didn’t stop to think if Jayakarna meant it sarcastically.

She dashed off right then, still in her full wedding clothes and jewelry.

Well, on the dark deserted highway from Jayakarna’s home to Somadatta’s there was a highwayman. A thief, a robber, bandit, whatever you want to call him. You could also call him Gabbar Singh, that was his name. Chandrasena’s jewelry shone like a beacon in the moonlight, like neon light. Gabbar Singh, was suspicious for a second. Was this an undercover policewoman ready to arrest him? He dismissed the thought almost immediately. His patriarchal mind could not fathom that women could have any profession other than “homemaker”.

So he stopped her and said, “Bahut chamak hai tere gehno main. Ye gehne humko de de, ladki”.

Meaning your jewelry is very shiny, could she give it to Gabbar Singh please? Only, he didn’t say please, and he didn’t phrase it as a question.

“Give me all your money, or you’re Geography!” he added, for good measure.

Chandrasena was puzzled. “Don’t you mean history?”

“Don’t try to change the subject,” the robber said.

Chandrasena pleaded with Gabbar Singh. She had to rush to Somadatta’s house before Jayakarna changed his mind. This was no time for her to slowly take off each of the articles of jewelry. Please could she keep them for just an hour? She had to check in at Somadatta’s house ASAP but she would return. If Gabbar had a book deposit box, she would happily drop it off there.

Gabbar Singh gave in without too much of a fight. He let her go. But first he made her swear that the jewelry was his now. It was on loan to her for just the next hour.

Chandrasena burst into Somadatta’s home. But she was disappointed. Somadatta had had some time to think. Now he was very nervous about accepting her presence in his home, and in his life. “I can’t elope,” he said. If she hadn’t been married it would have been okay. And if Jayakarna wasn’t one of his largest investors it would have been even better. No, he couldn’t risk offending Jayakarna and certainly not offending the entire village, who would go to his competitors instead. Chandrasena must return to her husband. But hey, he could give her those two overdue books, just like she asked, so maybe she could consider that a win.

Chandrasena was heartbroken. It is to her credit that she did not do Somadatta an injury. She did call him names, which I will not repeat here other than to say that the adjectives included “unprintable” and “plagiaristic”.

Chandrasena headed back towards Jayakarna’s home. If she reconciled with him, everything might be okay. Maybe no one would even notice that she had been away. Other than Jayakarna of course. And she would have to convince him. 

But before she got there, she met Gabbar Singh. He was waiting for her. And he seemed genuinely surprised that she had returned. While she was slowly taking off each of her bangles one by one, they got to talking. Gabbar heard her story, and it was obvious he was emotionally affected by it. “Are those tears, Gabbar?” She asked him. 

“No,” he quickly said, choking off a sob. “Just a little dust in my eyes. I’m not crying, you’re crying. I don’t want your jewelry. It’s worthless to me, I can’t even be bothered to trash it. You take it away from here.” With that, he ran away, presumably to call it a night early.

Chandrasena took all her jewelry and returned to Jayakarna. Her husband could clearly see that his wife’s meeting with Somadatta had not gone well. 

She tried to dismiss everything. “Look, you said some things, I said some things. Let’s just forget it all, close that chapter, and move on, okay? It’s just water under the bridge now.”

Jayakarna refused. “No we jolly well won’t move on,” he told her. 

Chandrasena asked him what about his pledge to stick together, in sickness and in health and so on?

Jayakarna reminded her where exactly his pledges had gone, the moment she walked out on him. Somadatta already has your heart, he’s welcome to the rest of you as well.

So there was Chandrasena, without a path forward. The Betaal concluded.

“That’s the story Vik. I’m wondering whose actions were morally correct here? Was it Somadatta, because he did the correct thing by refusing to marry Chandrasena. After all the only time he was expressing his feelings for her, he didn’t know she was about to be married. Or was it Jayakarna who was doing the correct thing here? He discarded his own feelings, honored his wife’s wish even though she wanted to ditch him. And then he stuck to his principles by refusing to be her rebound? Or Chandrasena, because she did everything according to her heart, though she was a victim of unfortunate timing”

Vik replied that it was possible to make a case for any of the three, if the Betaal twisted himself into a pretzel, which seemed entirely possible, though tricky, given he was so darned slippery.

Neither Somdatta’s nor Jayakarna’s egos were comfortable with the idea of a second-hand Chandrasena. Chandrasena was naive but rather foolish.

The one who had acted most honorably was in fact Gabbar Singh. He was a villain in general, but never could it be said that he didn’t treat Chandrasena honorably. He let her go without harming her, and let her keep her jewelry. “We need more Gabbar Singhs in India,” Vik concluded.

The Betaal warned Vik to be careful what he wished for. “More importantly,” the Betaal added “Vik you’ve been speaking all this while. So Ta-ta!”

The Betaal was back in the air and headed back to the tree. Vik sighed and started walking back again towards the Peepal tree.

That’s all for now

Some notes on the show

Previous Vikram Betaal stories are linked in the show notes and on the site sfipodcast.com

There’s also the Singhasan Battisi series which we have covered before. It’s related to this one in the sense that there is a similar framing narrative and a sequence of stories told to a King. King Bhoja, who wanted to sit on a throne, and each of the 32 statues on the Throne told him a story. The other connection there is that the throne belonged to Vik, and was a gift from Indra, the Chief of the Devs, and ruler of Swarg. 

Previous Singhasan Battisi stories are also linked in the show notes and on the site, check them out as well

That’s all for now. 

Next Time

In the next episode, we’ll talk about Karthikeya. Many of you wanted to hear stories about this son of Shiva and Parvati, and so that’s exactly what we’re going to do

Feedback

Thank you all for the comments on Social Media and on Spotify’s Q&A! I can’t directly reply to the questions there, but I’ll address them here on this show.

Devilskin – great to hear that you’re still listening and loving these stories. Thank you for the feedback.

Rez – I was thrilled to read your comment! Thank you for your wonderful support!

Prasanna, thank you for the wonderful feedback!

Taal – thank you for your support! By making episodes more recent, do you mean picking stories from things that have recently been in the news? If so, that goes a little against my principles as a time traveler. I’d prefer to keep my stories far in the past, or far in the future. If I told stories from the present I’d risk interfering with the present and the consequences can be rather catastrophic.

Hiranmayee – as always, thank you for your wonderful support!

I absolutely loved your suggestion about merchandise! I’ll throw this out to all of you listeners out there. Would you folks be interested in Stories From India merchandise – t-shirts, caps, notebooks, keyrings and such? Tell me what you think. If there’s interest, I’d love to set this up!

Dweerferr – Chandrakanta is going to come up pretty soon and the action is going to start heating up there

Aravindacharya – thank you for the suggestion. I’ve added Subhas Chandra Bose to my backlog.

Moshroom – certainly there are some interesting folk tales from Karnataka that I can certainly add to my ever growing backlog.

If you have any other comments or suggestions or if there are particular stories you’d like to hear, please do let me know by leaving a comment or a review on the site sfipodcast.com, or reply to the questions on Spotify Q&A. You can also find me on Instagram and Facebook, and on X.

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A big thank you to each of you for your continued support and your feedback.

The music is from Purple Planet.

Thanks for listening and I’ll see you next time!