In this episode, we’re doing a Punjabi folk tale! We’ve covered two folk tales from Punjab before in Episode 63 and Episode 93. Check out the links in the show notes to those stories. They both featured some kind of a quest, a hero’s journey like Luke Skywalker’s in Star Wars, or the Hobbits in Lord of the Rings. Today’s story is a little different. It’s not an adventure or a quest of any kind. It’s just a story about a King who learns an important life lesson. From a child.
It begins with the King. This King, let’s call him Raja because Raja literally means King in several Indian languages. Amongst the Kings we have seen on the show, Raja was quite unusual in that he had never told a lie. It’s not that he was unfamiliar with the concept, its just that he had never committed the actual act of speaking a falsehood. Ever.
He had one other habit. That of going into town incognito. Maybe it was a way to escape the pressures of palace life. Or maybe he got the idea from Emperor Akbar who did this often to learn about his subjects. But yeah, instead of doing his actual job, which totally included hiring scouts he could trust to be his eyes and ears on the rough street, he decided to be his own eyes and ears on the streets.
So this day, Raja was walking down a dark alley in a particularly nasty part of town. There were shadows at the other end. There were 4 people there and some voices. Raja clutched his dagger tighter as he approached. He didn’t want to suddenly change direction, that might trigger the predator instinct if these people were here to mug him.
He kept getting closer and then breathed a sigh of relief. The 4 people were just some children. 4 young girls in fact, gossipping. He thanked his stars for having had such a lucky escape. And then he was proud. The security he provided in the Kingdom allowed 4 young girls to fearlessly stand about in a dark alley in the nasty part of town. Not bad at all. He should probably start a publicity campaign about this.
But first he had to make sure these weren’t just some criminals pretending to be young girls. Imagine the embarrassment if his publicity campaign were brought down by a public realization that the girls the King claimed to be keeping safe were in fact a gang called the Felonious Female Four or some other alliterative gang name.
He eavesdropped on them. Hiding behind a very smelly trash can, and listening intently to every word, he made two decisions. One was to have a chat with his sanitation minister. This trash can had obviously not been picked up quickly enough.
For the other decision, let’s listen in to how the conversation went.
The conversation seemed to be about what experience was the most fulfilling, the most rewarding.
The King didn’t know any of the girls, so he remembered them by things they wore.
So one girl, whom the King called Yellow Shoes launched into a violent defense of her position – that the sweetest, most rewarding experience was alcohol. That caught the King by surprise. He was close enough to see that the girls were clearly not above the legal drinking age. But then another girl, red ribbons, broke in and said no, the sweetest thing in the world was the taste of meat. That surprised the King because the girl was dressed in the traditional clothes of a well-known tribe in the region. A tribe that was strictly vegetarian. Now I know there are many variations of vegetarian you have heard of, so I’ll clarify that this whole tribe was the kind of strict vegetarian who would not eags and would get uncomfortable even in the proximity of other meat eaters.
But the King who should have expected more shocks, totally did not expect another shock. But he did get another shock when the third girl, blue hat, said that love was the most rewarding experience of all. The King considered dashing out of his hiding spot to arrange some help for these girls when the fourth one spoke up. Green Dupatta said that alcohol, meat, love – all of that was nothing compared to the experience of telling lies.
Raja considered that and was disturbed the most by the last statement. Alcohol and Meat was okay, because they would bring in substantial revenue for the Kingdom via duties and taxes. Even love was great for business. But lying? That was so unpredictable. If the next generation believed that lying was rewarding, what did that do for the moral fiber of society?
He changed his mind about arranging immediate help for the girls. He decided he needed to hear their side of the story before ordering beheadings. Only two episodes ago, he had heard a lot of examples of Kings acting in haste.
His first act was to ask his secretary to summon the 4 girls.
“What girls?” asked his puzzled secretary.
“Go bother someone else for the details” the King replied.
That led to a frantic search of the Kingdom’s database to understand whom the King was talking about. Finally the secretary realized that Raja’s incognito mode route had taken him right past the hangout of a gang known as the Gossip Girl Gang – not a criminal gang by any means, but just a local philosophy interest group. The Gossip Girls were summoned to the palace.
Understandably they were all very nervous. And when the King asked them to stop fidgeting, it only made them even more nervous.
The King decided that the best thing to do here was to talk to them one-on-one. And perhaps in the presence of something they were comfortable with.
Yellow shoes chose to answer questions only in the presence of her teddy bear.
“Now, will you answer my questions?” asked the King.
The girl nodded, reluctantly.
“I heard you in the alley last night” the King began
“I wasn’t there. I was home in bed. You have me confused with someone else. It was probably the other girls. And anyway I was practically silent yesterday. It was the others, they started it”
“Relax,” said the King. “I’m not going to punish you. I just want to understand something that you did say. You said alcohol is the sweetest of all experiences”
“That I did. And I stand by it” the girl replied.
“How do you know? Have you ever tasted alcohol?” Raja asked.
“Oh never!” The girl was shocked at the suggestion.
“Then how can you know that it’s sweeter than anything else?”
“Just because I haven’t experienced it first hand doesn’t mean I can’t draw conclusions from it. There is overwhelming circumstantial evidence.”
When the King seemed unable to comprehend that, she added “Look, I haven’t experienced at first hand the distance to the neighboring towns but I do know which one is the farthest based on observing other people. I can say that Amritsar is closer than Ludhiana because people who travel to Ludhiana generally take longer to return, but I’ve never been to Amritsar or Ludhiana” She paused for a breath and continued “It’s the same principle in this situation. I haven’t tasted alcohol myself, but I know the effect it has on people. For example, when my dad and uncle drink they are in excellent spirits at that time. They do things that they normally wouldn’t and looking at them you can tell they are having the time of their lives. But the thing that convinced me is actually their behavior the next day. They wake up in the morning with a terrible headache and swear never to drink again. They look very sincere doing it too. And yet by evening they begin drinking again”
The King heard her out and said “Do you realize that in all that description, nothing about what you have said supports alcohol being sweet. Let me clear it for the record, it’s absolutely not sweet. But I’ll allow it, because you might have meant sweet metaphorically”
“Indeed, I believe it to be the most rewarding experience. Despite the terrible headaches” Yellow shoes replied.
“Well, I can’t say I support your point of view. I have to make sure the minister of propaganda does something about this to discourage indiscriminate alcohol consumption”
With that he excused her, and had the next Gossip Girl Gang member brought in. The King’s conversation with Red Ribbons began almost identically with the one we’ve just seen. So I’ll skip the common bits.
Red Ribbons after receiving her security blanket defended her position by saying that yeah, she was a member of so and so tribe and no one ever ate any meat. But she had come to her conclusion from observing others just as her fellow Gossip Girl had done. Specifically, Red Ribbons had seen a butcher’s shop. “I’ll spare you all the gory details” she said but from what I have seen, not a single bit of any meat is allowed to go to waste. The Butcher is careful to scrape every bit out. And even when the bones are discarded, the dogs fight over them to get at whatever bits are left in between little nooks and crannies of the bone. Why would dogs and humans alike scrape for every bit of meat if it weren’t the most rewarding experience?”
“There’s something in what you’re saying. But you know, the dogs could be fighting for the bone itself, not for the bits of meat”
“But then the bone never goes away. If dogs wanted to eat the bone, the bone should disappear after a while, but that never happens”
“Maybe you didn’t observe them long enough. Maybe it hasn’t happened in your lifetime yet”
“That doesn’t make sense. I’m not old enough, but I’ve observed a lot of dogs. So statistically speaking at any point some of the bones or what’s left of them should disappear. ”
“Alright, point taken. I concede. Send in the next one please.”
Blue Hat was next. Raja expected this one to be easiest to explain. Blue Hat had probably watched way too many Bollywood movies. After the initial pleasantries, the King asked her
“So you think Love is the sweetest experience of all? You probably think Love makes the world go round and all?”
But Blue Hat snapped back. “What rubbish! No love doesn’t make the world go around. I’ve looked it up. The world goes round because of the law of conservation of angular momentum.
And I know what you’re thinking. How can I know what love is? But I do. My mother had the most painful experience recently when my baby brother was born. Despite everything, she cherishes the moment she first saw the baby. The only reason she was doing that was out of love. Love must be the sweetest experience if she thinks it was worth going through all that pain.”
“I hear you”, the King said. “Especially that flavor of maternal love. And I especially appreciate that because you didn’t get that idea from the plot of a Bollywood movie”
Blue Hat was dismissed and it was Green Dupatta’s turn.
After all the usual preamble, Green Dupatta said that she stood by her statement. The emotion one experiences when lying is something that tops everything else including alcohol, meat and love.
“You speak from experience, do you?” asked the King.
“Haven’t you experienced it yourself, your majesty?” Green Dupatta countered.
“Me? I’ve never told a falsehood in my life” the King replied, surprised at even the suggestion.
“Well then, let me demonstrate it to you,” Green Dupatta said.
But seeing how eager the King looked, she added that he would have to be patient. For a year. And he would have to finance her project. He wanted a demonstration, didn’t he?
The King agreed. He bankrolled Green Dupatta’s secret project, no questions asked. He decided to judge the project only by its result.
A year later, at the appointed date and time, the King showed up at Green Dupatta’s home, which was now a mansion. Thanks to the King’s funding.
He marveled at the architecture the best his money could buy. The mansion seemed centered on one great hall in the middle.
Green Dupatta began, “Spared no expense, your majesty. Nothing but the best on this project”
“What’s in the great hall? Don’t tell me you’ve recreated dinosaurs!” the King asked
“No, nothing so dull and boring. It’s only the most marvelous ceiling artwork. There isn’t another like it in the world. It’s magical!”
“Like, real magic? I didn’t know that was a thing. This story has been realistic so far, and suddenly you’ve introduced a supernatural element here?”
“And why not, your highness?” Green Dupatta asked. “This is a medieval Indian story. There have to be some extraordinary phenomena. In this case it is that the ceiling is only visible to those who are competent for the position they hold. Everyone else only sees a blank yellow ceiling.”
She paused and added “You could even use this to weed out the low performers in your next performance review cycle.”
And the King believed her.
Now I know what you are thinking. The King and Green Dupatta’s entire conversation and the entire secret project was a demonstration about lying. And he had practically a year to think about that. Shouldn’t that have triggered something? And failing all that, hadn’t he at least read the “Emperor’s new clothes” fairy tale by Hans Christian Andersen?
The King hadn’t, probably because this story preceded the Emperor’s new clothes, but that’s not the only reason. The King had actually never lied in his life. So he didn’t expect Green Dupatta to be lying about this either. And yeah, the year long break if anything may have clouded the King’s memories a bit.
The King was eager to go into the great hall, but Green Dupatta suggested that some of his companions go in first and that they go in one by one.
First was a lowly clerk. He went in a little nervously. He was doing more thinking than observing. He was already nervous of failure. And when he looked up and saw nothing, he got even more worried. If he reported that he did not actually see anything on the ceiling, one of his bosses would be sure to fire him. So he did the only thing that was guaranteed to keep his job safe. He lied about what he saw.
The whole crowd looked at him when he stepped out, the question clearly in their eyes.
“The architect is brilliant!” the clerk said. “Such brilliance that is all too… brilliant”
A low level officer went next. The psychology of the response was further reinforced here, because the clerk had already seen something. The officer claimed the details were amazing, intricate. He didn’t have the words to describe them. They had to be seen to be believed.
This went on up the entire management chain. Until finally the King himself entered the hall. He knew every one of his officers had seen something. If he admitted to not seeing anything it would be a PR disaster for him and he would likely be deposed.
So he stepped out and said “Well, I can see my money has been well spent”
Green Dupatta asked calmly. “What do you mean, your majesty? What did you see?”
“I saw amazing artwork. It blew my mind! The details were intricate. The architect is a genius”. He was regurgitating his employees’ assessments.
“Could be. Even for the competent it isn’t guaranteed to show itself 100% of the time. I myself have never seen anything except a blank ceiling there,” Green Dupatta said.
“Oh you haven’t? But my dear girl, you’re really missing something then” he insisted.
“Are you positive? I can’t say I care much for that kind of art” Green Dupatta continued.
“Absolutely positive. Maybe I should get you a photograph of it then. Or I’ll have someone paint a copy for you, so you can see it. It’s a wonderful piece of art. The architect is to be congratulated.” the King replied
“Well, there is no architect, your highness. I see nothing because there is nothing on the ceiling. If you did see something, you may be overdue for an appointment with the royal optometrist”
“I’m right here” the optometrist said from the crowd. “His majesty’s eyes are perfect. As are mine”. Sheepishly, he added “I didn’t see anything on the ceiling either”
One by one, and even more sheepishly, the crowd all admitted they hadn’t seen anything either.
You’ve lied for the first time in your lives. You lied initially to save your job.
But I gave you a way out after that. And yet, you persisted in the lie. Beyond the initial lie, you had no reason to continue lying, but you did. You were lying for the sake of lying alone.
The King really should have disputed all that. He should have said – but the second and third lies are just corollaries to the first lie. They can be seen as an extension of the first lie. So that argument doesn’t really work.
Instead his mind was furiously spinning as he thought about this self-inflicted apocalyptic scenario. His people had learned to lie.
From now, nothing would be great about his Kingdom. There would be crimes all over and people would deny it. He would need to establish a police force, a judiciary, and all other kinds of infrastructure. Husbands would be lying to their wives, brothers to sisters, children to their parents. This was the moral ruin of his Kingdom. And he himself had sponsored it all.
And it all started because of Green Dupatta and her demonstration. But the damage was done. At this point there was no going back. He would have to grin and bear it. It might go easier for him. Who knows, he might have retired before things reached a crisis point.
He gritted his teeth and smiled at Green Dupatta. “Thank you for that demonstration. I shall look to your future with considerable interest. That was very valuable and has taught me a very important lesson”
He had just told another lie. With no reason for doing so. There! It really was getting easier to lie.
That’s all for now
Some notes on the show
Other Punjabi Folk Tales we have done before:
Episode 63 – Kill with a BillHook: The Bride’s Revenge! and Episode 93 – Punjabi Folk Tale – Sting Like a Bee
The Emperor’s New Clothes story I mentioned is here
That’s all for now.
Next Time
In the next episode, we’ll do a story of one of the members of the Holy Trinity again – this time it’s Shiva the destroyer whom we’ll pick.